


God is a Man, Love is a Dream

by blasphemous



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Atheism, Author!Alec, Biblical Verses, Books, Director!Magnus, Dyslexia, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, Religion, Vulnerability, eventual love, severe homophobia, theophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2018-09-20 12:02:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 46,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9490187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blasphemous/pseuds/blasphemous
Summary: Blue Skies, Grey Grassis theRomeo and Julietof our time.The author of the tragic love story is the pretencious, condescending, not to mention handsome and youngAlexander Gideon Lightwood.When Alec is talked into a movie adaption, he agrees under the condition that he makes sure everything is just as good as he planned whilst writing his novel.However,Magnus Bane,one of the best directors in Hollywood, doesn't like the idea of Alec acting like he owns the set and taking charge of the movie under his name.**FIC IN CONSTRUCTION**





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings:
> 
> ▪ Dyslexia.  
>  ▪ Severe homophobia.  
>  ▪ Mentions of alcohol and drug abuse.
> 
> **________**
> 
> This is dedicated to one of the best people I've had the pleasure of knowing, [Diana ❤️](https://www.twitter.com/sebdaddario)  
>  thank you for your support ❤️❤️
> 
> **________**

Alec drums his fingernails against the wooden surface of the desk as he blinks lazily at the contract.

"No" he states blandly, eyes skimming over the paper in sheer disinterest.

"No?" The grey haired man queries, evidently taken by surprise "Mr. Lightwood, I can assure you that we have hired the most qualified staff to make everything perfect, you agreed before—"

"I changed my mind" Alec interjects placidly, "I don't like the staff, and I don't want my novel turned to a mainstream movie that feeds emotionally deprived, hormone controlled teenagers. Have you watched The Fault in Our Stars? The Notebook?" His brow quirks inquisitive Y.

"Mr. Lightwood, I—"

"A Walk to Remember? Fifty Shades of Grey?" Alec goes on, this time waving a hand conversationally in a way that made the man bow his head, sheepish.

The man falls silent as Alec scrutinises him for a couple of pensive moments, awaiting his answer. However, when he gets no response, the silence extending, he hums shortly.

"That's what I thought" he murmurs absently.

"We'll pay you—" the man tries again, but Alec's eye roll stops him in his tracks.

"I'm not interested in your money" Alec says coldly "I don't want my book adapted into a movie. Do you need a dictionary or am I clear?" His monotone's demeaning, menacing to the point where the staff look away, feeling embarrassed on behalf of their boss.

When the grey haired man purses his lips, Alec hums in content.

"I'll be on my way then" he stands to his full godly height, scrunching up the contract in the process. As he begins walking towards the door, the man's face lightens up in thought.

"Mr. Lightwood!" He calls out, almost too enthusiastically for Alec's taste.

Alec stops with a deep sigh and an eye roll, parting his lips to begin scolding the man.

"You can make sure everything is going as you plan, the casting, the plot, the directing, everything." 

Alec cocks his head for a few seconds, brows furrowed in thoughtfulness. Then he turns on his heel. "Your desperation is one of a kind" he muses with a smirk, "you have yourself a deal."

** ♡♡♡ **

"I'm not doing it!" Magnus exclaims loudly, pacing down the hall, employer at his heel.

"Mr. Bane, you are the best director out there—"

"Yes. I am" Magnus interposes "and I won't let an author who knows nothing about directing; direct under my name" he turns to dart a glare at him.

"He won't be directing" the man replies. 

Magnus shakes his head with an exaggerated eye roll. "Do you even know what directing is?" He snaps.

The man crosses his arms "Yes, I do. Mr. Lightwood will only make sure the casting is right and everything is going as planned" he says it casually, as if this _Mr. Lightwood_ wasn't just coming along and thieving Magnus of his job. 

Magnus holds his phone and scrolls down the screen, then gives a content hum. "Read" He tilts the piece of technology. "Out loud."

"Being the driving creative force in a film's production - visualising and defining the style and structure of the film, then bringing it to life. Carrying out duties such as casting, script editing, shot composition, shot selection and editing…" the man looks up at Magnus as he trails off knowingly "look, I understand that you—"

"I'm not directing if he is. Why do you even need me?" Magnus clicks his phone shut then pockets it.

"Because you're Magnus Bane!" The man proclaims, gesturing for Magnus' general direction in theatrical praise.

"And he's Alexander Lightwood!" Magnus snarls "let him direct, I'm sure he'd make an amazing director, overlooking the fact he's arrogant, rude, degrading, has limited creativity, limited imagination, doesn't have _any_ passion for film-making, doesn't pay attention to details, and—"

"He does pay attention to details!" The man seems to have a soft spot for this _Alexander G. Lightwood_ because he's so insistent on defending the boy's honour. 

Magnus scoffs mockingly.

"Really? He does?" Taking Alec's book out of the man's desk, he flips it onto a random page. "Read" He turns the book to the man, eyes on the ceiling in obvious anger and impatience.

The man clears his throat "right" he squints to read as he licks at his lips. "Her beauty would make a rose bow its head in chagrin, it would put Aphrodite's grandeur to shame, her confident gait was one of a succubus hunting for prey—"

Magnus closes the book shut and looks at the man for a few prolonged moments, then gives up with a sigh. "Okay! Fine!" He knuckles under the man's smirk. "Yes. His capability of writing is exquisite, but how the hell do you expect him to direct a movie? We know how impatient that man is, he'll fire people on the spot" Magnus feels like him just standing there and trying to alter the man's opinion is degrading.

"Mr. Bane—"

"Not doing it" Magnus says, shaking his head as he begins to walk again.

"We'll pay you double"

Magnus sighs.  
Once.  
Twice.  
Thrice.

He needs the money. So he gives in.

"Okay, alright. But don't blame me when the movie hits rock bottom" he holds his hands up in defence.

The man smiles. "The casting begins on Sunday, be there" he says, then turns around and leaves, a victorious smile on his face.

Magnus gives a light shake of his head before turning around and leaving the set.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Did he at least call before deciding to be late for like 5 hours?" Magnus leans over to whisper into Raphael's ear.

Raphael smirks. "It's only been 45 minutes" he thrums amusingly "don't be such a drama queen" glancing at Magnus, Magnus sees his lips twitch.

He rolls his eyes with a heavy sigh.

After minutes that seem like hours, the door opens and the man steps through.

Magnus suppresses a snort.

"He's the guy claiming that he doesn't want his book turned into a mainstream movie that feeds teenagers? He looks like a hormonal teenager himself" he gives a half-subdued chuckle as he looks the man over.

Maia glances away with a soft laugh. "Magnus, behave yourself" she elbows him hard enough to nudge some sense into him.

Alec walks in a confident, lazy way, head held high, an extremely vexing smirk playing on his lips and his hands in his pockets. It annoys Magnus to no extent.

He passes the judges, not even sparing a glance at them, then slips his shoulder bag off his shoulder.

"Oh, how amazing of you to finally join us, no need to apologise for being forty seven minutes late or anything. I mean, it's not like people have anything better to do with their—" Raphael kicks Magnus in the shin and Magnus cuts himself off with a pained grunt.

Yet Alec ignores the statement as he takes his seat next to Maia.

Maia smiles immediately, and holds her hand out cordially as she turns to him. "I'm Maia" she introduces herself politely, "It's great to finally meet you, your works are—"

Alec inhales sharply through his nose, implying how irked he is, and Maia blinks, mildly taken by surprise.

"Let's start then!" Alec calls out.

Maia turns a deep red and looks away as she lowers her hand sheepishly, muttering a small “douchebag” under her breath, one she's sure didn't pass Alec's attention.

Magnus clears his throat, feeling a small spark of sympathy for his friend, then he straightens his back. "Let's"

The first auditioner steps in, grinning widely.

"Hello, I'm Sanya Ired-"

"Next!" Alec yells out before she has the chance to say her last name. 

"You didn't give her a chance!" Raphael barks immediately, turning to glare at the author.

"She doesn't have the looks, or the accent, or the body" Alec's still eyeing Sanya as he talks, looking her over in quite a rude fashion "leave" he says when he reaches her face.

The girl is escorted out and Magnus bites at his tongue harshly to hold back from calling the author out.

The next girl steps in.

"Hello, it's nice to meet you, I'm Lilly" she says softly.

Alec looks her over, head cocked to the side with anything but intrigue. Then he gives a hum, uninterestedly telling her to go on. 

When she does nothing, he closes his eyes to compose himself. "Begin" he sighs out.

"What scene would you like me to recite?" She shyly looks at Alec, blood gathering in her cheekbones.

"Any of them" Alec waves a nonchalant hand "just hurry, we have twenty seven others who probably have much more talent than you do."

She swallows forcibly, then starts to act one of the scenes out.

"No, no, no" Magnus stands up abruptly, "no, sweetheart, wait" he circles the table and makes his way towards her. "First of all, darling, you're too stiff" he says, voice kind and relieving in a way that make her shoulders slack, "you're supposed to move, express the emotion delivered with your words."

She nods slowly.

"Start over" Magnus smiles, taking a few steps back.

The second time is much better.

Alec has his arms crossed, blinking so flatly that it seems like he's about to face-plant the table and fall asleep.

** ♡♡♡ **

Magnus sighs in exhaustion, placing his hands flat on the table to bring himself to stand. "Finally" he breathes out, piling the scripts neatly.

Alec grabs his khaki shoulder bag and keys, then makes his way out the room without a word, and everyone looks after him. As soon as he's out the room, Magnus hears the collective low murmurs about how rude he is broadcast through the staff, but as much as he wants to participate in the conversation, he also needs to have a word with the grumpy cat, so he follows after him hurriedly. 

"Alec!" He calls out as soon as he catches sight of his… colleague?

Alec stiffens at the call of his name before slowly turning around to face the director. "Mr. Lightwood" he states, looking him over, "we're not on a first name basis."

Magnus forces a smile, trying not to show how much he wants to punch Alec's perfectly sculptured face. "Right. Mr. Lightwood" he clears his throat to dispel the murderous ideas running through his mind "here are the scripts, maybe you'd like to read over them and—"

"Does it look like I have time to read over scripts?" Alec cuts him off, arching a scarred brow in feigned curiosity, "I'm a busy man."

Magnus glances away briefly, licking at his lips to ground himself, then takes a deep breath. "Look, Mr. Lightwood, I understand that you're the author of this—"

"I'd love to stay and chat with you" Alec interrupts impertinently, lifting his hand to look at his watch "but unfortunately — _for you_ — I have an interview in a few moments" he glances back at Magnus with a smile, a terribly fake one that makes a muscle in Magnus' jaw flicker, "who am I kidding? I wouldn't want to stay and chat if I had all the time in the world" he shifts his weight to the opposite leg as he adjusts the strap of his bag, "Magnus Bane was it?"

Magnus swallows, tightening his grip on the papers. Alec notices the act and simpers at the effect he has on Magnus, then turns around and continues his way down the hallway.

"So you're okay with whatever script we choose to follow?" Magnus — with strenuous effort — softens his voice.

"No" Alec speaks "I'll see what I like on set"

Magnus seethes with rage.

"Go easy on those papers" Alec calls out.MThen he's out of sight.

Magnus looks down at the papers in question. At the incomprehensible words, the jumbled letters and blurry sentences, then he throws them to the floor and storms off.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Clary, come here, darling" Magnus comes out with, motioning the redhead to him with a beckon of his crooked fingers. 

She struts towards him, tying her hair up in a high ponytail as she reaches him. "What is it, Mr. Bane?" She asks cheerfully. Her glee is always welcome in an atmosphere as solemn as the one Magnus is currently working in.

"Call me Magnus" he smiles, making her grin with a slight nod. "Have you read Alec's book?" Magnus leans back against the dressing table, folding his arms as he eyes Serene.

"Mr. Lightwood" Alec walks by, eyes on his phone. "Still not on a first name basis."

Magnus rolls his eyes

"Yes, I have" Clary replies, "It's amazing and the writing style is absolutely wonderful, I cried so much when I reached the end. Such a depressing love story" she scowls at the memory of the ending, staring into space.

"Right" Magnus clears his throat "now, the thing is.." he starts "Mr. Lightwood described the heroine as a natural beauty, saying that the nature of her grandeur was what attracted men. How she managed to look fierce without trying."

Clary gives a nod, clearly not picking up on what Magnus is trying to tell her.

"Does this look like natural beauty?" Magnus breathes out, gesturing towards Serene's face, "all I see is a rainbow attached to her face" 

Clary lets out a laugh, but when she heeds the serious look on Magnus' face, she snaps her mouth shut. "Right" she gives a nod.

Half an hour later, Magnus walks back to see what Clary has created.

"Nice" he hums when he descries the soft makeup "can you just add a little blusher here" he makes a circular motion over Serene's cheekbone.

Alec stops to admire Serene in the mirror. "I don't like it, it lacks colour" he says, scratching at his stubble with furrowed brows. 

"Mr. Lightwood, have you read your own book?" Magnus averts his gaze towards the snake with a venomous look in his eyes.

"Yes, Magnus, I'm sure I have, since I'm the person who wrote it" Alec gives a sarcastic smile, and Magnus grunts.

"Alright.." He trails off, looking at Clary "listen to whatever he wants then" he turns to leave but pauses for a second. "Oh, and Mr. Lightwood?" he twirls to look at Alec "It's Mr. Bane, we're not on a first name basis" he gives a sweet smile that looks beyond forged.

Alec's smile falters, and even behind the stern look he gives the director, Magnus can clearly see the surprise and fury burning behind his irises.

"Attend to your business then" Magnus gives a small nod of his head accompanied by a dismissive wave of his hand.

And Alec turns to Clary.

"Give her a little red to the lips, the reason people looked at her and lusted after her is because of her looks. She's supposed to look sexy. Not innocent" Alec begins to instruct Clary, "and this looks hideous."

Magnus rolls his eyes with so much force he can almost see his brain.

** ♡♡♡ **

"No, no, Jesus Christ, Serene!" Magnus bangs his fist against the desk and stands up "cut!"

Everyone sighs in irritation. 

"Serene, put yourself in her shoes" Magnus walks towards the actress, "how would you react if the handsomest man walks up to you and flirts? Would you instantly reply? Or stand in shock? What would you feel before you find your voice to reply? What would your voice sound like when you talk? Croaky? Velvety? Shy?" 

Serene sighs with a muttered profanity, but Magnus decides to ignore it.

"Deliver your emotions."

Moments of silence pass and as soon as Serene lets out the first syllable to grouse, Alec butts in. "Don't complain, you're not a kid" he crosses his arms over his chest.

"Mr. Lightwood" Magnus turns to look at him "what did you feel while writing this?"

Alec shrugs his shoulder. "Eh, not much really" he says flippantly, slumping back in his seat.

Magnus sighs "nothing at all? Hate? Happiness? Anything?" He just wants Alec to cooperate. Magnus' a professional man who's completely capable of putting personal feelings aside within the workplace. Alec on the other hand? Not so much..

Alec gives a small shake of his head, frowning in an unknowing manner.

"Why do you even write?" Magnus snaps, his anger take the best of him.

Maia and Raphael look between the two.

"I'm just extremely passionate about not starving to death" Alec stands up, that ferocious smirk back on his lips. His calm exterior really makes Magnus want to punch him in the face.

"I have an interview in a few so excuse me" Alec says, excusing himself by himself as he gathers his stuff.

Magnus fights the urge to stomp his foot childishly at the author's behaviour.

As Alec makes his way to the door, the entire staff watches him in anticipation, not waiting to be able to openly complain about how indifferent and rude he is.

He opens the door, then turns to Serene.

"You're fired" he states casually.

"What?! Why? I'm trying my best!" Serene bellows in protest.

"You're disrespectful, childish, absolutely ridiculous and your acting abilities are beyond horrible" then he looks at the grey haired man "auditions start again tomorrow" he says, and it's not a question "and I'm bringing someone for the clothing. Clary can stick to just the makeup. This is a movie not a circus"

Clary looks down shamefully, and Magnus opens his mouth to throw every fibre of his annoyance at the author.

But the loud slam of the door halts him.

Magnus sighs.  
"I told you he's impatient."

** __________________ **

Magnus' sipping at his coffee when a young woman steps through the door.

"Hello? Are you Magnus?" She asks formally, but somehow manages to add a friendly timbre to her tone.

Magnus puts his mug down, standing up to greet her.

"Yes, who's asking?"

"I'm Isabelle, Alec told me to come along and see what I can do with the clothing?" She's now standing in front of his desk with a polite smile on her face.

Magnus holds his hand out "nice to meet you, darling. I'm the so-called director"

A small laugh escapes her lips. "So-called?" She echoes.

Magnus shrugs with a small hum, then he looks her over, completely dismissing her question.

"I'm sure you'd do an amazing job in the wardrobe" he winks once he reaches her face. "your style is mesmeric, my dear." 

She gives a wide smile, eagerly backfiring the compliment.

"Come with me then" Magnus circles his desk and gestures for her to follow him "Mr. Lightwood hired you?"

"Oh, right, yes" she nods, following him out the door "Alec's my—"

"Mr. Lightwood" Magnus hurries to correct her.

"Oh" Isabelle laughs out airily "Alec's a dick, always forcing respect down others' throats, I see."

Magnus laughs loudly, throwing his head back in pure mirth as he links his arms through hers. Oh, they're going to get along. 

"Can't disagree, but maybe you shouldn't say that in front of him, he'd kick you out without further ado" he gets to the dressing room as he fondly shakes his head. 

"He wouldn't dare" Isabelle scoffs, waving a ringed hand.

Magnus admires her foolish confidence. "So confident" he comments dotingly "too confident, if I may say so myself" tilting his head, he gives her a sceptical look.

She smirks silently. 

"What was your name again?" Magnus asks, all traces of humour gone from his voice.

"Isabelle. Isabelle Lightwood"

Magnus chokes on an inhale of breath, eyes bugging.

"I love seeing the reactions" Isabelle giggles, patting his back softly "you okay, Mr. Bane?"

"Magnus" Magnus forces out between inhales, closing his mouth to breathe through his nose as he waves a hand "call me Magnus"

"Nice to meet you, Magnus" she muses in response, a spark of smugness underlining her words.

"So, Mr. Lightwood is your brother?" Magnus enquires, a little awkward now that he knows there's a blood tie between the two.

"Yes, that's correct" she confirms "is he your archenemy?" She adds, holding back another laugh when she sees the look of horror on Magnus' face.

"Something like that" Magnus replies, "let me introduce you. Izzy, this is Clary, makeup artist. Clary, this is Isabelle Lightwood—"

"Your brother's a jerk" Clary interrupts with a smile, holding her hand out to shake Izzy's.

Izzy takes her hand "I like you" she beams "your dress is amazing by the way. I think we're going to get along"

"Thank you! Your necklace is beautiful" Clary straightens out her dress with a shy smile.

Magnus walks away with a shake of his head.

At least now there's someone who can put up with Alexander Lightwood.

** ♡♡♡ **

"You. You're up next" Alec points a finger at the blond boy.

The boy smirks slightly and crossed his arms over his chest, "sure" he tries hiding the anxiety behind his voice by widening his smirk, all in vain.

As his turn comes up, he steps onto the stage.

"I'm Jace Wayland—"

"Why do you want this role, Jace?" Raphael asks, deciding that his question will somehow be of use in the near future.

"Well, I think I suit the character perfectly. And I also heard they'll be paying well, so there's that" his tone's confident and self assured.

Great characteristic.

Alec likes him straightaway.

He laughs softly and everyone turns to look at him. Partially shocked, but mostly mesmerised by his charming chortle. 

Magnus' dumbfounded smile is erased once he realises it's there.

"Oh, please begin" Alec motions for Jace to start, laugh morphing to a smile then fading into his bored and stern expression.

Jace chooses the last scene of the book. The climax. The hardest scene to act out.

His tone of voice varies between emotional and angry, and that's exactly what's needed.

When you're hurt and trying to convince someone to give in, to bring someone to heel to their emotions, desperate, downhearted, angry, almost threatening, you need a variety of emotions.

Magnus crosses his arms in amusement, head tilting to the side as he analyses Jace's multiple expressions.

"So, Chase-"

"Jace" Alec cuts in, taking offence for the blond.

"Jace. I like you, the emotion in your voice was evident, love the gestures, the glancing away and chest heaving, the throat bobbing. It almost seemed like you're not even acting. Very realistic, very amazing, so, we'll give you a call and—"

"You got the role" Alec interrupts. 

Jace's eyes widen, "what?"

Magnus knots his brows at Alec.

"Excuse—"

"You start on Wednesday, Mr. Wayland. 9 am, don't be late" Alec smiles at Jace, rocking everyone back on their heels.

Magnus wants to slap him on the head. A few times. Maybe till he bleeds, maybe not.

"Thank you" Jace smiles back wholeheartedly and thankfully, then turns around and leaves.

"What was that?" Magnus barks at Alec.

"What?" Alec turns to him, genuine curiosity in his voice.

Magnus clenches his teeth "you know, I also have authority here" he snarls, prompting Alec to shrug a shoulder

"Unfortunately, I don't see it" he's about to continue his rude remarks, but is put down easily.

"Behave" Isabelle walks by and smacks him on the head. 

Magnus snorts unconsciously before he can subdue it and looks away as he shakes with laughter, catching Raphael's gaze with a mocking look of his own.

Alec crosses his arms over his chest grumpily.

"Isabelle we're not at home, don't—"

"Miss Lightwood please" Isabelle chimes in with a teasing tone, tutting her tongue authoritatively.

Alec purses his lips in annoyance and humiliation.

"So" Magnus recovers from his fit of chuckles "we have our Vincent and Amara—"

"Mr. Lightwood, Mr. Bane, you both have an interview at 2, don't be late"

Magnus stands up "won't be" he smiles, gathering his stuff before leaving.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Mr. Lightwood" the interviewer begins "I must say, your book was one of a kind, but a lot of the online viewers haven't had the chance to read it, so can you tell us what it's about?"

Alec sits up with the fakest smile Magnus has ever seen, bringing the microphone to his lips. 

"To those who haven't read the book, just send me an email, explain why you want to read my book, add your address, and I'll personally deliver your book to your home" he winks kittenishly, receiving collective cheers in return.

Magnus can hear all the complaints about how hot Alec is. How kind and gorgeous he is. How he's the _purest smol bean to ever exist._

"Blue Skies, Grey Grass is about a boy, named Vincent, a player, your typical jock at school" Alec starts, cutting the praises off "who one day meets Amara, an astonishingly beautiful young lady. Now, everyone knows what goes around comes around, right?"

Small cheers from the crowd come and Alec chuckles softly.

"So Amara, with her gracious beauty and charming personality, makes Vincent fall in love with her. But, the question is.." he lifts his index finger in the air, pausing to add effect "..does she love him back? Or does she avenge many by breaking his heart the same way he has broken numerous ones?"

Magnus smiles slightly at the yells coming from the audience, and the interviewer lets out a laugh.

"Mr. Bane, you are one of the greatest directors in Hollywood, can you tease us about the movie adaptation?" 

Magnus brings his own microphone to his lips, eyes on the crowd as he parts his lips.

"Angsty and hot" he says, casually. 

Cheers and more cheers.

"I like the sound of that" the interviewer comments "and have you read the book?"

"Yes, I have" Magnus answers with a nod "who hasn't? It's everywhere"

Alec looks pleased with himself.

"And what's your opinion on the book in general?"

"I think that cocky, rude, and disrespectful boys.." Magnus' eyes wander towards Alec "deserve everything they get. Especially when they pay no regard to others' feelings"

Alec blinks at him, unimpressed by the undertone meant for him.

"And as much as I loved Vincent in the story, I have to say that Amara is a very strong young lady, and I admire the way Mr. Lightwood has portrayed her. Her passion, her confidence, her stern persona and her self-value. However, everything has its cons and pros" he lowers his mic, leaving it at that to dramatise the situation.

"Nice, and when will the trailer—"

"Hold on" Alec chimes in rudely with a hand held up, "please explain what you disliked about my book, Mr. Bane?"

Magnus smirks slightly, a little victorious. 

"Well, it's obvious that Amara was philophobic, not a snake, she decided to choose what she has brought herself to believe over the years, over what her heart wants, and that's something humans don't usually do. Humans are driven by their feelings, their wants and needs" his voice remains neutral as he watches Alec's expression turn to one of revolution "so, Mr. Lightwood, what I'm trying to say is that the ending is very unrealistic" he concludes.

The interviewer looks between the two, sensing the tension.

"Actually" Alec turns to Magnus, placing his ankle on the opposite knee "a sensible human being would choose what he has come to believe from experiences, from lessons he has learnt, over his emotions. Amara is a teenager, her feelings can easily be mistaken for lust, for hunger, for need of attention. Maybe she hasn't fallen in love, who knows—"

"That doesn't make sense, he tells her that he loves her and she decides to leave him in fear of how emotionally attached she's gotten to him!" Magnus exclaims; much louder than necessary, "your argument is invalid, Mr. Lightwood" he looks back at the interviewer, implying the end of their argument.

"Because she knows that love doesn't exist!" Alec yells.

"Bullshit!" Magnus spits, but his eyes remain on the man asking the questions, who's begging the cameraman to cut.

"Guys, guys, calm down" he says placidly, holding both hands up as if taming a raging bull.

They both fall silent and Alec grunts, sitting back with his arms crossed.

"I see you're not getting along very well"

"Well, if he wasn't a little cocky jerk that's on a last name basis with everyone, we'd be okay" Magnus stands up "I'm done here"

As they leave the building, a fan wraps her arms around Alec's neck and kisses his cheek sloppily.

He laughs, but as soon as they're in the limo, he wipes at his cheek in disgust.

"You're so ungrateful" Magnus mutters.

Alec turns to him.

"What's wrong with you?" He asks "What the fuck is wrong with you, Magnus?" 

"Mr. Bane" Magnus corrects teasingly "nothing's wrong with me. You just vex the hell out of me. What? Did you expect everyone on earth to adore your shitty book?" He turns to look at Alec with that same smug smirk Alec wore all the time. A taste of his own medicine.

"My book is not shitty!" Alec shouts.

Magnus chuckles softly.

"Oh, darling. For someone who only has a passion for not starving to death," he begins "you sure do get worked up over nothing" 

Alec rolls his eyes in irritation.

"I couldn't care less about your opinion" he starts "but it was disrespectful of you to hate on my story right in front of the audience."

Magnus shrugs.

"The interviewer asked me a question and it's my duty to answer honestly" he crosses his arms over his chest "besides, everything I said was true."

"No it wasn't, this is a matter of perspective" Alec mumbles "And your perspective is way out of order. Way too faulty and lame, not to mention that it holds no sense whatsoever."

"Oh? And how is that?" Magnus feels the need to understand Alec's point of view. The writer's point of view.

"Well, you said that people would choose their wants over what they were raised to believe" Alec takes a sip of his flask, smirking slightly "listen, if you loved someone to death, yeah?"

"Yeah" Magnus interlaces his hands on his lap, inwardly grateful that Alec isn't being noisy and obnoxious like he usually is.

"Like, you would do anything for them, you love them. so. fucking. much. And that person kills someone. A random person. No one you know. Just anyone. What would you do?" Alec asks, his voice gaining a sudden monotone.

"That's different" Magnus begins to protest.

"Answer the question" Alec demands.

Magnus snaps his mouth shut, then speaks up. "I'd turn them in"

"Why? You love them" Alec drums his fingernails against his lap.

When no answer comes, Alec gives a smirk, looking at Magnus from the corner of his eye. "understood?"

Magnus clears his throat "That's irrelevant"

"As I said, Mr. Bane, it's a matter of perspective" Alec recites, "that's my mantra"

"So, you're philophobic too?" Magnus' voice considerably softens.

"No" Alec instantly replies, as if he knew that the question was about to come "love is something humanity has created in order to allow humans to act on their instincts. Pain, sex, self-harm, anger, everything can be justified under the name of love"

Magnus can't deny the fact he enjoys talking to Alec, he finds his opinions very different and unique, very intriguing.

"So, love doesn't exist in your opinion?" Magnus rephrases his question dubiously.

"Love doesn't exist. Full stop." Alec tuts his tongue at the driver, making him pull to a stop.

"It's all a matter of perspective. You said that yourself" Magnus turns to face the window and Alec lets out a disinterested hum before hopping out of the car.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Mr. Lightwood!" The blonde runs up to Alec, her heels clicking as she finally reaches him "hello"

"Hello, Lydia" he crosses his arms over his chest "what is it?" it's obvious how uninterested he is.

"Um" she swallows "I was reading your book. I mean, of course I read it before but only to practice the scene I acted out in the auditions"

Alec gives her a vacant nod.

"And in the book, you described Amara as a girl with long brown hair" she nibbles at her lip "so, maybe if I dye my hair it would be more.. following the book line, your book line"

Alec's lips twitch.

"No" he says "if you're not comfortable with—"

"It's okay!" Lydia exclaims "I mean, I like my hair, but I've been wanting to go brunette for a while now, so.."

Alec shrugs "that's up to you then" he muses "dark would look good, and I imagine Amara as a mysterious dark person, so yeah, if you want to go brunette, do it"

Lydia smiles, then walks past him with unsuppressed mirth. 

"Clary! He said yeah!"

Alec rolls his eyes then continues his way down the hall.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Okay! Chop chop!" Alec yells, clapping his hands "Jace go and get your hair and makeup done! Lydia, come here let's get you into character! Mr. Bane, come here as well. Raphael, make sure everything's ready, Isabelle, button your shirt up, the cameraman isn't interested"

Isabelle pouts.

Magnus stands up and walks towards Alec, reaching him the same time Lydia does.

"First of" Alec turns to Lydia "I like the dark" he gives a small smile, that she eagerly returns.

"Now, look. For now, act like Mr. Bane is Jace, okay?" Alec asks.

Lydia gives a nod and turns to face Magnus with a big smile.

"I'm a huge fan of your work" she acclaims, "actually, you worked with my uncle, Henry? Y'know him?" 

Magnus lets out a knowing Oh! Then nods "yes! He's an amazing man, and thank you, darling, that's—"

"I don't remember this being on the script?" Alec butts in, making Lydia chuckle and Magnus roll his eyes exasperatedly.

"Listen, Lydia" Alec starts, "Amara will be reading her essay out to the entire class, but her eyes will remain on Vincent."

Lydia gives a nod.

"Try practicing, stand here" he takes her by her upper arms towards a small stage and makes her stand.

She clears her throat.

"Love? What is love—"

"No, no, darling" Magnus sighs "try adding more emotion, you're not a robot or Mr. Lightwood" glancing at Alec, he catches the author arching a brow at him.

Then Alec clears his throat and takes the script, "let me see" he murmurs, eyes scrolling over his own work.

He takes a deep breath.

"Love? What is love? You claim that one inhales love, that love is what keeps us going, that oxygen and water prone at the sound of the word, degraded, submitted" He steals a glimpse at Magnus.

Magnus' jaw clenches as he swallows.

"But love is not what helps us through the hardships of life, for it is merely a fib created by those who refuse to espouse their desires, their impulses and their need to be grazed upon, touched, felt" The last words leave his lips breathlessly, and Magnus shuts his eyes momentarily.

The staff has gathered to listen to Alec's expressive style of talking, the softness but force of his voice as he uttered those contradicting words.

"Those who treat love as if it were a creed, those who feed their wants under the name of an illusory myth. Love, what fickle love. One who claims to know love must know that pain comes along to wreck such a sweet heart" Alec stops to take a breath "love keeps us going indeed, but destroys innocence in it's wake, it robs you of rationality. Perhance, it claims the mind too" his jaw flexes and Magnus can see it, He can see every movement as Alec speaks.

Alec's throat bobs, his hand tightening on the papers.

"You say love rules over our fragile little blood pumping muscle, true. We were born from love and raised with it too, but love differs from person to person" Alec closes his eyes this time, and continues the paragraph off by heart.

"Your love is blinding white. It hurts. After all, white fire burns the brightest. The brightest burn the fastest and you're left with a gaping black hole, your eyes resemble that void too"

Everyone's watching him. Mesmerised almost.

"Love is a tragic tale, you watch your heart splatter on the tar under your feet. How do you resemble love dear one? Does love remain faithful to you until your skin looks parched and white on an equally white deathbed? Or have the stars lingered in your eyes? Have the moon and sun played on your skin till your last breath? No, love will give you the blues" he opens his eyes and looks back up, his hand falling to his side as he spits the last sentence out like venom,

"A mockery of summer love." 

Lydia's watching him, eyes glazed with impressed tears.

"That was amazing, Mr. Lightwood" she exhales, not knowing what else to say.

Alec hands it back to her "try" he orders, then stops and turns to Magnus, who still stands in mild shock at how emotional Alec got reading his own essay.

"No" Alec says "you try" he holds the papers out for him.

Magnus' lips part.

"I'm not the one who's going to act it out, let Lydia practise" he manages to keep his voice composed.

Alec has an itch. He wants Magnus to read it. To understand it word for word.

"I want you to read it. Read" he judders the papers.

Magnus swallows. "No" he declines "I don't want to read it"

"Why? Am I changing your mind about love?" Alec's now going for the taunting.

Magnus gives a shake of his head "I'm not credulous, and you're not persuasive" he says.

"Then read it. You're the director. Show her how it's done. Deliver your emotions. Come on" Alec's face is calm, an easy smile fondling his lips as he keeps his hand held out.

Magnus gives up and takes the papers after sucking in a deep breath.

Then he squeezes his eyes shut and opens them to look at the words, hoping that would miraculously cure him.

The words dance in front of his eyes and he squints.

He closes his eyes again, then slowly parts them, merely winking at the papers to see if there's any change.

His heart begins beating faster and he suddenly can't breathe anymore.

"Mr. Bane..I'm waiting" Alec thrums as he crosses his arms, nails drumming against his muscles.

Magnus looks up, and Alec arches a brow.

Then Magnus looks back at the papers, trying to make sense of the words that won't stop moving like a fucking optical illusion.

He remembers doing that numerous times.  
He remembers the laughs.  
The bullying.  
The hurt.  
The isolation.

And he throws the papers to the ground before rushing off, eyes watering.

It hurts more than he wants to admit.

Swallowing down the lump in his throat, he walks into the bathroom and slams the door shut behind him, ignoring Clary's calls of his name.

He locks it and turns around to rest his back against it, head tilted back and tears freely running down his face. 

Then he slides down till his chin's resting against his knees.

He hates authors.

He hates Alec Lightwood.

** __________________ **

"Hello, are you Clary?"

Clary looks up from her makeup and catches sight of Jace, her ears instantly turning red.

"Yes. Jace?" She asks shyly, voice softening instantly.

"That's me" he smirks boastingly "Vincent of the movie"

She nods "I've been told so" she muses, "though I don't think there's much I can do"

He looks slightly offended by the statement

"Excuse me?" He asks with an arched brow.

"I didn't mean.." She trails off "I just mean that it's humanly impossible for someone to get more handsome than this" she gestures towards his general direction and he grins admiringly, liking how adorable she already is.

"Your flirting will keep me going" he replies, licking at his lips, "you're quite beautiful yourself, Ms. Fray"

She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and looks down shyly.

Just as she's about to reply with a lame 'thank you', clearly running out of flirtatious retorts, Magnus rushes past her, eyes watering.

"Magnus!" She calls after him.

He ignores her as he reached the bathroom and slams the door shut angrily.

"What's up with him?" Jace cocks a brow at the shut door.

"I'm not sure, probably Alec being a fucking dick, again. Nothing new" Clary purses her lips, then turns to look at Jace, who has taken his seat in front of the mirror.

"Yeah, they don't get along very well, I saw the interview last week" Jace says before closing his eyes "do your magic"

** ♡♡♡ **

"What did you do to him, Alec?" Isabelle yells after Alec, who's walking down the hall with a Pepsi in his hand.

"Nothing" he murmurs, "he's just a little too sensitive" shrugging his shoulder, he gives Izzy the best innocent look he can muster.

"Yes, you did something, he didn't just run off like that for nothing. that was something and you're going to tell me right n—"

"Listen, Iz. I have an interview in 3 fucking minutes and i still haven't made it to the fucking car, go away, leave me alone" he passes her his can of pepsi then makes his way out of the building and into his car.

"where to, sir?" The driver looks at him through the rear view mirror, lowering his sunglasses to shield his eyes.

"Sunset Boulevard. Get on the phone with Teen Vogue and make an appointment for the interview they've been begging for, tell them I'll be doing that damned photoshoot for them. As for Bliss magazine, have a talk with them and inform them that I won't be able to attend considering the fact I'm working on the movie adaption. Tell them I'll be in England next month, they can book me then" he replies, voice dull and bored, "anything else?"

"Yes, sir. Mrs. Lightwood called this morning and said you should call her back, she mentioned something about family dinn—"

"Don't care, what else?" Alec cuts in, swiping his hand indifferently.

"That's it, sir" the driver confirms.

"Good. Drive" Alec taps his fingernails against his thigh as he looks out the window.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Hello, today we are here with Alec Lightwood, teen's gossip, and the writer of Blue Skies, Grey Grass" the interviewer begins.

Cheers fill the room and Alec's capable of emitting a small smile.

"Firstly, we have a few questions for you, then we'll allow some of you, the audience, to ask Mr. Lightwood the questions you want answered" She glances at the audience before crossing her legs "so, Mr. Lightwood, I've heard you're working on a movie adaption, rumours or should we be expecting a promo any time soon?" She asks, throwing her hair over her shoulder as she eyes him.

Alec chuckles and gives a teasing hum of feigned thoughtfulness "eh.. maybe there will be a movie adaption.. very soon" he smirks to add more excitement. 

she smiles "Is that a yes?"

Alec fights the urge to tell her to shut the fuck up. Of course that's a yes.

"Yes, it is, ma'am" he smiles.

she clears her throat.

"Okay, now we've all read this book, and I must say, Amara's charisma is amazing, we loved her character and how mature she was in comparison with Vincent" she turns to fully face Alec "but my question is, what made you think that girls are players? is it a past experience or..?" Trailing off, she gives a suggestive wiggle of her brows.

Alec inhales through his nose, lips puckering reflectively "I wouldn't say it's from past experiences, no. Girls can be players and that's not the point of my novel. it's not about the sex of the person manhandling the other's heart. Amara is not a player, neither is Vincent when he gets to know her. There are always different perspectives, different ways of viewing their relationship. Not only with you readers, but with the characters as well. Vincent saw Amara as a selfish person for leaving him the way she did. Amara saw herself as someone trying to protect their heart from shattering"

"and whose perspective do you agree with? Vincent or Amara's? Where do you find the accuracy?" the blonde asks curiously

Alec sits back, microphone held to his lips "there's no accurate and inaccurate perspective. What's your favourite colour?" he arches a brow at her.

"I don't see how—"

"What's your favourite colour?" he repeats easily "just answer the question, I'm not going to gobble you up"

"Purple" she replies lowly

"Mine's blue" Alec tilts his head to the side "can you argue?"

"No" she answers lamely

"Right" he grins "next question"

"Calculations say that most of your fan's ages vary between the age of 22 and 53, how do you manage to relate to all ages considering how young you are?" she's gets awkward, stammering over her words.

Alec sits up and reaches for his glass of water, "here you go, doll" he says, and she takes took the glass and sips at it.

"My age has nothing to do with the way my mind reels. I think the actual way of relating to such a large proportion of people depends on how you view the world, how you view society and whether you can empathise with others or not" Alec feels like any question she asks is just her trying to get to that one question "I know you have a question at the tip of your tongue, spill."

She laughs nervously, then looks to the crowd "shall I ask him the question?" She teases, and when people erupt in cheers, she looks back at Alec.

"Okay, you got me"

Everyone laughs, including Alec.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" she enquires, voice soft and weighed with coquettishness.

Alec sits in a figure position, hand on his ankle.

"Why would I want to have a significant other?" he asks after a soft chuckle.

"Well, so you can fall in love, get a family—"

Let's out a huffed laugh, clearly ridiculing her.

"I don't believe in love" he says "that's the point behind my novel, I thought I made it clear?"

she widens her eyes and looks at the audience.

"I'm sure someone can change your view on love, Mr. Lightwood. You need the right woman" she turns back to him, and offers a kittenish smirk, "you just haven't met her yet"

"I don't think any man _or_ woman will be capable of doing so" the way she thought she knew anything about him was starting to annoy him.

"Oh!" she exclaims "so you're telling me you're.. bisexual?" 

More cheers

Alec laughs.

"No. Besides, I don't believe in love, therefor my sexuality plays no part in my personal life" his voice gains seriousness "anymore questions?" He rudely adds.

She looks towards the crowd, and a woman lifts her hand.

Alec nods towards her.

"Is there any chance we'll be getting a sequel?" she asks, straightening her back as she pushes a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

"No" Alec utters "if you mean is there a chance for Amara and Vincent, that's also a no, you don't give up your beliefs for desire"

She blinks, then nods, understandingly.

Next, a man lifts his hand and Alec inclines his head in question.

"Do you have any siblings?"

Alec beams "yes, i have a little brother and sister" he answers, a little enthusiastically.

"Don't you love them? how can you not believe in love if you hold love for your family?"

Alec's impressed with the question.

"Are you familiar with the four greek concepts of love?" he questions.

The man shrugs.

"Is anyone familiar with the four Greek concepts of love?" Alec looks around

No answer comes.

"Right, there are four words for love in Greek Mythology, Eros, Storge, Philia, and Agape" Alec begins "I'm going to start with Eros. Eros means strong desire for something, hence the word erotica. Many philosophers argued about the meaning of Eros, Plato said it's loving without desire, thus the concept Platonic Love, feelings but no sex, he described love as a common desire to see beauty, but not feel it."

Everyone's watching Alec, the way he spoke, so at ease they can almost shut their eyes at the sound of his voice.

"Now, we have Storge, also known as familial love, love exchanged between parents and their children" Alec looks at the man who asked him the question "there's also Philia, love for siblings, translated as 'brotherly love', but as 'friendship' or 'affection' by Aristotle. And last but not least, we have Agape, love shared between a man and God, unconditional serving regardless the circumstances that may create obstacles. The only type of love I believe in is the love shared between family members"

Everyone nods in understanding.

Alec smiles then gives a few more answers before he looks at his watch.

"Thank you for your time, Mr. Lightwood, and for the free philosophy lesson, we look forward to seeing the movie and seeing you at the comic con next month?"

Alec simpers and shakes her hand.

"Thank you for having me"

** __________________ **

"Your interview was amazing, you roasted her!" Clary exclaims as soon as Alec enters.

Alec waves her off with a dismissive flourish of his hand.

She grunts and looks at Isabelle with an eye roll.

Isabelle laughs softly and wraps her arm around Alec's waist, "I watched it too, don't act like a little emotionless shit around me, you said you loved me so drop the act" she smirks at him and he laughs.

"All for the show dear" he murmurs absently, yet he wraps his arm around Isabelle's shoulders, pulling her closer to his side.

She smiles and leans up to kiss his cheek.

"Get to work" he takes a step away and wipes at the lipstick mark on his cheek with a repulsed scrunch of his face.

Then walks off.

"Mr. Lightwood! How nice of you to join us!" The cameraman says.

Alec says nothing.

Magnus glances at him, but immediately looks away.

"Lydia" he begins, hands on her shoulders as he attempts to ignore Alec's presence "take a deep breath" he takes a breath himself "good, now exhale"

She lets the breath out.

"Amara is confident, remember when you were little how you dreamt that you walk all coolly and confidently into class? And everyone would look at you like you were Aphrodite herself?" Magnus amused oh asks. 

She laughs "Oh, that was your dream too?"

Magnus snorts "something like that" he says quietly "so, my point is, this is your chance, come on, own the set, just get on that stage and say it like you mean it, you're a confident, beautiful, strong young woman. Show it"

He walks back and stands next to the cameraman.

It takes her a few tries, but she's finally capable of delivering the right vibes.

"Bravo!" Magnus claps encouragingly.

She grins widely, then looks at Alec "was it okay?"

Alec shrugs "eh"

Magnus closes his eyes briefly, trying to fight off the malicious things he wants to do to Alec.

Alec takes the script.

"Jace, come here" he beckons Jace closer with his index and middle fingers.

Jace promptly rushes to his side.

"Got a pen?"

Jace pats his pockets then pulls a pen out.

"Don't say this part, yeah? I don't want it" Alec scribbles on one of the lines.

Jace nods and Magnus arches a brow. "What part don't you want?" He asks.

"The part where I say that she's—"

"No" Alec cuts Jace off, "here" he holds the script out, "see for yourself"

Magnus says nothing, but instead turns around and walks away.

Alec smirks slightly Then looks at Jace "here ya go"

** ♡♡♡ **

"Take 20" Magnus calls out "I'm starving"

Isabelle holds the pizza up "I bought pizza, let's eat"

Everyone rushes towards her and begins digging in.

She walks towards Magnus and Alec, who are sitting side by side, and hands them each a slice before sitting on the desk.

"What's up with you two?" She asks, taking a bite of her food.

Alec says nothing.

"Magnus? What did you think of Alec's interview?" She rolls onto her stomach, eyes on her pizza.

Magnus hums.

"I liked the four words for love in Greek mythology. Greek mythology has always been my weakness" he starts "but I don't understand why he doesn't believe in love. It seems quite odd to me"

Isabelle glances at Alec

"Can you stop trying to turn your opinions to facts?" Alec turns to him "It's offensive and rude" he nibbles at the point of his pizza and Magnus finds it quite childish, but.. Oddly normal.

Magnus shrugs "I'm not being offensive, I'm just defensive of my own beliefs"

"That are lame" Alec adds.

"That's called being offensive" Magnus pouts unconsciously, then wipes it off before Alec catches sight of it.

Alec shrugs "I never said I'm not an offensive man" he says.

Magnus rolls his eyes.

Isabelle's phone rings and both Alec and her glance at the caller ID.

_Mom_

Alec immediately looks away and Isabelle gets up, taking her phone in the process.

Magnus sits in extremely uncomfortable silence for a good 4 minutes before Isabelle's back

"Hey, Alec?" She bites at her lower lip "I.. uh, about the family-"

"No" Alec cuts in, swallowing his food quickly before wiping his hands together.

"They miss you"

"I'm not discussing this" Alec pushes his chair back rather harshly and stands, walking away, "break's over! Let's start!" He yells out.

Isabelle sighs.

Magnus looks between the two before shrugging and taking one last bite of his pizza.

He gets up, brushing his hands together as well, then he gets back to work.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Mr. Lightwood" Magnus walks towards Alec, holding a book in his hand.

"You left this behind" he holds up the book, leather, black, with a golden cross on it.

A bible.

He flips it over and scrutinises it, then looks up at Alec.

"I thought you don't believe in agape" he lifts it "isn't this a bible?" Curiously, he gives a small smile.

"Oh, would you look at that" Alec snarls "he can read that it's a bible"

Magnus swallows down the lump in his throat, shutting his eyes briefly.

"No need to be so insolent" he replies lowly.

Alec glances around, licking at his lips to gather his thoughts before he steps forward and leans down, impossibly close to Magnus' face.

"Listen" he breathes out "the only thing we share is the air we breathe, so zip it and stop—"

Magnus' eyes automatically flicker to Alec's lips and Alec notices it, his words dying on his lips before he clears his throat again.

"And stop trying to pick a fight" he continues "understood?"

Magnus gives one nod, blinking twice "as long as you're not being a total impertinent, conceited, self-centered, and self-absorbed snob" he grits.

Alec's slightly taken by surprise, but finds his lip twitching mockingly.

"Mr. Bane, you have surely acquired articulate speech for someone who doesn't even know how to read" he muses, voice annoyingly composed.

Magnus stares into his eyes, and Alec gives a smirk before snatching his bible.

"Goodbye, Mr. Bane" he looks him over dirtily before walking away.

Magnus watches him leave, jaw clenched, throat bobbing sorely.

"What's going on with you two?" Simon stands next to Magnus, eyes following the author "that looked intimate"

Magnus turns to look at him.

"You may be one of the best film editors out there, but I won't hesitate to kick you out" he snaps.

"I just came here!"

"And you'll be out if you don't shut your mouth and get to work" Magnus smirks, glancing at him.

Simon grins toothily and Magnus rolls his eyes "It's impossible to be mad at you I swear"

"What can I say?" Simon straightens his jacket "I'm a charming young man"

"Agreed" Isabelle links her arm in his "I'm Isabelle, your crush"

Simon smiles "Simon, your not-so-secret admirer"

Isabelle laughs softly.

** __________________ **

"I'm sick of going to interviews with him!" Magnus shouts, "I'm not going!"

"Mr. Bane, the deal was that—"

"I know what the deal was!" Magnus exclaims "but that was before I found out he was such a little bitch! I'm not going! Sue me"

The man laughs softly.

"Mr. Bane, would it make you feel better if I told you that your debates on whether love exists or not are something the fans look forward to?" He enquires.

Magnus smiles at that.

"And that most of them are on your side?"

Magnus purses his lips.  
"Fine, fine, okay! But one snarky comment from him and I'm out!"

** ♡♡♡ **

"Good morning, America! Today we are here with Alec Lightwood, the author of New York's bestselling book, Blue Skies Grey Grass, and Magnus Bane, Hollywood's favourite director" the interviewer begins then turns to Magnus and Alec "I'm Sandra, one of both your works’ hugest fan."

Magnus smiles and Alec crosses his legs with a fake grin, "a pleasure" he says

"Oh, the pleasure's all mine" she waves him off dismissively.

"So!" She starts with a clap "yesterday night the trailer of the newest adaption of your book was released, becoming the hottest trend in a matter of hours, how do you feel about that?" She looks at Alec

Alec smiles "it feels great, I'm more than honoured that I have such amazing readers and such a wide fanbase, it means the whole world to me" he murmurs into the microphone, his voice hoarse.

Halfway through Magnus' eye roll, she turns to him "and you, Mr. Bane?"

Magnus clears his throat and sits up.

"I'm amazed by the amount of people encouraging this" he says as he glances at the audience "and the amount of support we're getting for this project, as you all know, a lot of us hate how much show writers like to change in books, but I can assure you that nothing will change in this. It's unique, different, and has quite an unexpected ending. Mr. Lightwood did an amazing job writing it"

Alec doesn't spare Magnus a glance as he looks at the walls in amusement.

"Speaking of which" Sandra begins, "Mr. Lightwood, you're known for your unexpected endings. Is there a reason behind that or do you just like to keep readers on the edge of their seats?"

Alec hums thoughtfully.

"There's no specific reason, as each story has an absolute different direction, a different story line, sometimes even a different genre" he states "however, I do adore unexpected endings. When I first read the series Divergent, I was in utter shock by how the ending played out. Not typical. I like that"

Sandra nods understandingly.

"And love? What made you—"

Magnus tuts his tongue.

"Sweetheart" he thrums into the microphone "don't start on his perspective of love, you'll just go in circles and never get to a conclusion," he turns to look at Alec with a smirk "quite tenacious, this one is" he jeers, patting Alec's back.

Alec grits his teeth as everyone breaks into giggles.

Sandra chuckles.

"I see you've talked about this a lot" she says "is there.. anything going on between the two of you behind all the hate and tension you share—"

Magnus snorts.

"Oh, dear" he chuckles "no, not a chance, sometimes I leave the room to breathe different air. I've read that egoism can be contagious"

Alec laughs.

"He read" he emphasises on the second word with amusement "now that's improvement"

People look confused by the joke only Magnus would understand.

Magnus' heart drops.

"I.."

Alec smirks, and Magnus clears his throat, "I uh..next question"

** ♡♡♡ **

"I'll see you after the weekend guys!" Magnus calls out.

Alec's on his phone, "yes, okay, right, I'll see you there then."

Magnus can't bear looking at him without getting the sudden itch to punch him across his.  
Perfectly.  
Shaped.  
Godlike.  
Cheekbones.

"Any plans?" Raphael stands next to him.

"I'm just going to get drunk and forget everything, including the existence of that dick" Magnus seethes, eyes on Alec, who's now making his way out the room.

Raphael sighs  
"You need to talk yourselves out of your problems" he says, patting Magnus on the shoulder "I'll see you on Monday."

** ♡♡♡ **

Magnus slips his black jeans on, then his silk black button up shirt.

When Magnus was hurt, he resorted to haircuts, which was what he got earlier that day.

He shaved a part of his head, stuck the rest up, took the blue streak out and decided to maintain the dark look.

But it's not enough.

Pain still deep-roots his heart and although he had a terrible past with alcohol, it's the last thing he can do.

He applies his makeup. The usual, black kohl, and vaseline to the lips.

Simple. But elegant.

then he slips his black felt jacket on and leaves his house, making sure he has his ID, although he knows he won't need it.

He knew an amazing classy restaurant that served the best alcoholic drinks.

At least if he was to wake up with a hangover the next day, it would be worth it.

As he enters the restaurant, he looks around, a smile playing on his lips before he makes his way towards the bar.

"Mr. Bane!" The bartender exclaims "long time no see!"

Magnus chuckles softly.

"I'm a very busy man" he murmurs, slipping his jacket off before seating himself on the high stool.

"The usual?"

"Something heavier please" Magnus mutters.

"Heavier drinks for heavier burdens" the bartender replies "is it something you want to talk about?"

Magnus shakes his head lightly "I can do without company, Cam" he replies, "but I would appreciate it if you lent me your music player, I forgot my phone at home"

Cam hands Magnus his mp4 and earphones, earning a grateful look as Magnus plugs the earphones in.

10 minutes later, he's halfway through his 2nd glass of beer, humming the tune of whatever the song is.

As the music break comes up, Magnus hears the familiar stern voice of he who shan't be named.

Does that man even haunt his thoughts?

Just as he grips the glass to bring it to his lips, Alec appears next to him and Magnus mutters a profanity.

"Are you everywhere?" He asks, staring straight ahead as his index finger traces the rim of his glass.

Alec hums.

"Not really" he replies, voice unusually soft, then he turns to look at Magnus.

Magnus looks back.

"I see you got yourself a makeover" Alec looks Magnus over once "improvement, but you still look—"

"Stop" Magnus cuts in "can't you let me enjoy one freaking evening?"

Alec taps his fingernails against the bar "I'll stop the teasing once you stop criticising slash trying to change my view on things"

Magnus sighs.

"I'm not trying to change anything" he grits "you're just so daft, so innocent, so—"

"Innocent?" Alec interrupts with a scoff.

"Yes" Magnus takes a sip of his drink.

"How am I innocent?" Alec felt personally offended by the adjective.

Magnus turns to him once again.

"You're innocent and oppressed. You choose your beliefs — which are still very much incomprehensible to me — over trying things. You don't like change, you don't like taking risks, you're so—"

"Shut up" Alec interrupts.

"boring"

Silence falls and Alec clears his throat.

"Okay" he concludes, "getting on my bad side isn't something you want, but if you insist.." he trails off as he looks at his watch "then that's what you're getting" then he stands up and walks away.

Magnus rolls his eyes and finishes his second drink.

"Cam!"

Cam walks over

"Where's the bathroom?" Magnus whispers.

Cam chuckles, amused by the discreteness of his whisper.

"Second turn to the right" he points behind Magnus,

Magnus stands up and begins following the directions.

"Oh! Magnus!" Alec's voice rings in Magnus' ear and he sighs deliberately before turning to him.

He freezes once he sees how many great men Alec was sitting with.

His favourite directors.  
Authors.  
Actors.

His breath hitches and he bites down on his lip, blinking repeatedly at them as he felt a spark of happiness stir in his stomach.

"This is the man adapting my book into a movie" Alec introduces "Magnus-"

"Bane" a man interjects "yes, quite a young legend this one is"

Magnus feels his cheeks heat up.

"Sit down, son"

Magnus forgets about his need to pee and sits down.

It's only 10 minutes into an amazing conversation that Alec calls out a "Let's order!"

And it's then that Alec's intentions transpire to Magnus.

"Magnus" Alec slips the menu to Magnus with a smile "I forgot my glasses at home, please read the menu for me"

Magnus swallows and looks up to catch Alec's scornful gaze.

Alec smirks.

"Hm?"

Magnus looks down at the menu, his throat sore as he squints.

The words start dancing in front of his eyes, some enormously big, some unintelligibly small.

He looks up at the men who are looking at him in confusion, then back down at the letters.

"I.."

"Waiting" Alec hums "take your time, dear, I'm not holding a gun to your head"

Magnus abruptly stands up.

"I need to find the restrooms" he whispers in a rasp before rushing off in the direction Cam has pointed in.

He places his hands on the side of the sink, tears surfacing as he tries to even his breath.

Alec walks in a minute later, humming a cheerful tune.

"Oh, hello" he looks at Magnus through the mirror "I thought you'd be gone by now"

Magnus turns to him, making Alec descry his tear glazed eyes.

And Alec furrows his brows.

"You know, dear" he begins as he washes his hands, looking at the mirror, "it's not that hard to learn how to read, don't fret over it" he murmurs tauntingly, condescendingly.

The teasing overwhelms Magnus to no extent, and although he knows Alec would mock him, he finds himself speaking.

"I'm dyslexic" he breathes out

Alec freezes, staring into the mirror with wide eyes.

Magnus rubs his fist against one of his eyes that were blurry as Alec slowly turns to him.

"What?"

Regardless his attempts to stop his tears from falling, Magnus finds himself choking on a cry, eyes squeezed shut.

"I'm dyslexic" he repeats "I can't- I—"

Alec swallows.

"You're..."

"Dyslexic!" Magnus shouts "I thought you studied literature! You should know the definition of it!" Magnus' kohl's now on his knuckles, and he's rubbing at his hands anxiously.

Alec feels a sudden pang of guilt as he sees Magnus' hands turn red.

"You're not Dyslexic" he finally says, voice composed and stern.

Magnus' eyes widen in disbelief.

"What is wrong with you?" He hisses, taking a step towards the taller man "what _is wrong_ with you? You think you know everything about everything but you're just—"

"Mr. Bane" Alec cuts in steadily "you're not dyslexic" he takes a step towards Magnus, and Magnus steps back, staring in utter incredulity.

"You're a man who has dyslexia" Alec's looking at him coldly, but his words made Magnus' heart jump warmly, "you don't define someone by their disorder."

Looking away, Magnus uses his sleeve to wipe at his tears

"I'll order for you" and with that, Alec leaves the restrooms.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Mr. Bane, may I speak to you?" Alec asks as he flips through the script, before stopping to look up at him.

Magnus crosses his arms over his chest and Alec slips his glasses off.

"I'm afraid I'm a busy man" Magnus replies bluntly "and although I find your company quite amusing, I'm going to have to pass"

Alec blinks at him in a "really?" way, then folds his arms as well.

"It's important, it's about the scripts" he tries.

"I'm the director, not the movie writer" Magnus retaliates, "you can speak to Raphael and Maia about the scripts"

"I need to talk to _you_ " Alec snaps.

Magnus shuts his eyes briefly as he inhales "fine" he drawls, rolling his eyes, and Alec makes his way through one of the doors.

Magnus follows.

The room turns out to be the production control room.

Alec ambles in lazily, sloppily, as if he's drunk, and Magnus leans against the doorframe.

"Please shut the door, Mr. Bane" Alec murmurs, looking at the screens.

Magnus arches a brow "from the outside or inside?"

"I said I want to speak to you, so close it from the inside" Alec says absently, tone oddly calm.

Magnus shuts the door, grumbling at Alec's lacking sense of humour.

"What do you want?" He asks, turning back to Alec.

Alec stays silent for a couple of minutes, staring at the screens and wearing Magnus' patience thin in the process.

"Mr. Lightwood, I have much more important things to do than watch you stare at a screen" Magnus finally says.

Alec says nothing.

Magnus lets his hands fall to his sides before he turns around and reaches for the doorknob.

"I'm sorry"

Magnus stiffens.

"Excuse me?" He turns back to Alec.

"I'm sorry" Alec repeats slowly, yet his eyes remain on the screen, his hand on the mouse as he moves it about aimlessly.

Magnus' brows rise in amusement.

"Take that sorry of yours.." he begins, rather harshly "curl it up into a lovely scroll and shove it right up your ass"

Alec turns to him, sitting back against the chair.

"I just apologised to you, and that's what you have to say?" He asks, and it takes a deaf man to hear the slight hurt in his voice, something that shocks Magnus much more than the apology itself.

"You're unbelievable" Magnus answers after a handful of seconds "I'd rather I didn't get an apology at all."

Alec's brows furrow.

"The least you could've done was look at me while you're speaking" Magnus takes a step forward.

"Come on" Alec laughs out "this is real life, not one of your movies, an apology is an apology regardless whether I'm looki—"

"Shut it" Magnus cuts in rudely.

Alec's eyes widen.

"You're pathetic" Magnus' hands are on the armrests Alec's seat as he leans down "we both know that you wouldn't have stopped teasing me about my incapability of reading if you hadn't found out about my dyslexia" he looks Alec in the eyes, and Alec shrinks back slowly.

But he says nothing, and Magnus catches him swallowing.

"You're a bully and I applaud you" Magnus stands straight, smoothing down the lapels of his jacket "bravo, Mr. Lightwood for not believing in love" he claps his hands several times "because no one would've ever fallen in love with someone remotely as cruel and inhumane as you" Magnus takes a step back "so good for you, you saved yourself the pain of being alone."

With that, Magnus leaves the room, slamming the door behind him.

"Come on!" He calls out "Let's start again!"

** ♡♡♡ **

"Where is it?" Alec mutters under his breath "where is it? where is it? where is it?" He's starting to panic as he throws the cushions around, searching vigorously for the book.

Isabelle notices his behaviour and looks around, making sure he hasn't attracted any attention before she rushes towards him and pulls him away, into the clothing room.

"Alec calm down" she orders plainly. "Take a breath"

"I lost it" Alec chokes out in alarm, "I lost it, I lost it" running his fingers through his hair, he looks around pleadingly.

Isabelle hugs him.

"Repeat them off by heart" she whispers against his neck "Come on, Alec, repeat them, I'm listening"

Alec's breathing slows down as he hugs back, holding onto the back of her shirt tight enough to annoy her with the wrinkles. But she doesn't care.

"Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind, it is abomination" he starts, "it is abomination, it's abomination" he echoes the last statement with force, his throat constricting tightly around the words.

Isabelle shuts her eyes "good" she whispers "very good, Alec, what was the next one? Tell me the next one"

Alec swallows, his breathing neutralising as he speaks.

"If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination....they shall surely be put to death..their blood shall be upon them" he shakily whispers "for this cause God gave them up unto vile affections, for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature.. 27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet" by the end of his sentence, his grip on her clothes loosen and his eyes are glazed over with tears.

Isabelle finds herself crying as she tangles her fingers in his hair, holding him closely.

"Good" she whispers "that was great, Alec" she praises, tilting her head to drop a kiss against whatever she can reach.

Alec nods, refusing to let her go.

And they stay like that for what seems like hours before Clary and Magnus walk in, stopping mid-conversation as they stare at the two in complete and utter shock.

Clary smiles, but Magnus is dumbfounded as to why Alec has tears falling down his face.

He can feel?

** __________________ **

"Mr. Bane" Alec says softly, "please can you review this for me?" 

Magnus, regardless his shocked expression as Alec spoke so politely, grits his teeth.

Was that bitch back to teasing him about his lack of ability to read?

Magnus sits next to him regardless "are you really going to start picking on me for not—"

He cuts himself off once he sees the papers.

Alec begins gnawing at his lip as he glances at Magnus.

"Can you.. uhm.." he clears his throat "are the words understandable?" He moves the papers closer to Magnus slowly.

Magnus' brows furrow, and although he has to squint, he manages to read a few words.

He looks up at Alec "what.."

"Read for me?"

Magnus flexes his jaw and looks back at the paper, then licks at his lips.

"It's been a long time" he says, trying to justify his slowness.

"That's okay" Alec replies, voice unnaturally soft compared to his usual sternness "take your time"

Magnus takes a deep breath.

"Th-The accurate w-way to..to.." Magnus stops and looks away, gulping in attempt to swallow down the lump in his throat.

Alec nods slowly.

"Coloured overlays, the font, I read that dyslexie is the right font for people with dyslexia, and I printed the scripts out for you, as you can see the bottom of most letters is bolder" he points to a capital B.

Magnus looks at Alec, momentarily seeing his jaw unclench.

"Why?" He enquires, distinctly confused.

Alec parts his lips for a few seconds, then looks at Magnus.

"Actions speak louder than words so.. let's consider this my apology" his eyes search Magnus' face for any trace of discomfort. When he finds none, he looks back at the paper, "so 12px is the right size for you, but if you're still finding difficulty, you can make it bigger, and as I mentioned earlier, coloured surfaces, you can also use colour tinted transparent plastic overlays, I'm not sure if coloured paper will help though" Alec looks away thoughtfully with a hum and squinted eye "but I have come to a conclusion" he looks back at Magnus, who's still taken aback by the sudden outburst of Alec's.

Magnus blinks "what is it?"

Alec grins "people with dyslexia are quite stylish"

Magnus holds back a laugh and sticks to giving a small smile, still not buying the niceness of the author.

"Agreed" he replies, blinking easily as he looks back at the printed out pieces of paper.

Alec chews on the inside of his lip.

"Yeah, I'm done here" he pushes his chair back and stands up, "laters."

Magnus watches him leave then gathers up the scripts before sliding them into his briefcase.

He stands up

Isabelle's laughing with Simon, and as soon as her eyes meet Magnus', she gives him a small smile coupled with a nod, and they both turn to watch Alec leave.

Magnus turns the lights off.

"Are you guys gonna leave any time soon or should I expect the set to be a huge mess tomorrow morning?" He calls out teasingly, and can hear Izzy's high pitched laughter echo in the room.

Magnus chuckles, shutting the door behind him before he leaves for his car.

** ♡♡♡ **

Alec's phone won't stop ringing.

He shakes his leg patiently as he looks out the car window.

Shutting his eyes briefly and forcing himself to swallow the lump in his throat, he hesitantly lifts the phone to his ear.

"I hope this is important" he says, trying to keep his voice stern and under control.

"Good evening, Alec" his mother's voice comes from the other line, as cruel and formal as usual.

"I was having quite a good one actually, then your name popped up on my screen" Alec replies smartly, tone composed.

She chuckles softly, but it holds no humour.

"Why are you calling?" Alec cuts her little fit of bitter giggles off.

"It's about the dinner—"

"I made it clear that I have no interest in participating" Alec interrupts, adding a sigh, "I made sure Isabelle delivered my message as well"

"Message?" Maryse asks "what message?"

"Hmm.." Alec hums, feigning thought "I forgot. But I do remember a screw you"

Maryse sighs.

"Alec, the family wants to see you, what an amazing man you have become, and aunt—"

"Why? I vaguely recall you finding my obsession with literature wrong" he snaps in, unable to control himself any further.

"But look at you now! You're a famous and success—"

"Oooo" Alec laughs out sarcastically "should I pass by and kiss your feet for disencouraging me until I felt the need to prove myself?" He intones, his grip on his jeans tightening as he spoke.

"Coming for dinner tomorrow would be preferred" she mutters after after tutting her tongue once.

Alec lets out a shaky breath, running his fingers through his hair as he licks at his lips.

"Apparently, Izzy failed to get my message out" he swallows "I'm going to say this once, stop calling me. You've scarred me enough—"

"Are you still not over that?!" Maryse shouts "it was 8 years ago!"

"It's still imprinted in my mind!" Alec bellows, his voice quavering painfully, then he hangs up, hand clenching around his phone as he shuts his eyes, tears slipping down his face silently.

He eventually finds his strength to wipe his sleeve over his eyes.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Alec! Alec! Alec!"

Alec instantly turns around and falls to his knees, pulling Max to him with his eyes shut.

"Hello, little one" he greets softly into his hair.

"I missed you" Max grunts, his small hands fisted in Alec's hair.

Alec pulls back a few moments later.

"Look at you!" He exclaims in forged shock "all grown up and handsome, charming all the ladies at school?" He wiggles his brows at his younger brother suggestively, and Max rolls his eyes, making Alec laugh once again.

"Mom and dad are giving me a hard time" Max says, his voice considerably lowering as he shifts from leg to leg.

Alec purses his lips.

"Understandable" he utters "That's why I moved out"

Max laughs, a small 'I'm just laughing because you attempted to crack a joke' laugh.

"Who brought you here?" Alec looks around the set, humming softly.

"Izzy" Max replies "Mom said no and insisted that I do my homework, Izzy yelled a lot at her then mom told her to leave, but I ran into Izzy's car and told her to drive, just like action movies" to demonstrate, Max does some whooshing sounds with his mouth, his small fists flailing heroically.

Max has an unhealthy obsession with films, especially marvel and action ones.

"Oh?" Alec smirks, "naughty" ruffling Max's hair, he stands up, becoming double his size in seconds.

Magnus' eating a slice of pizza, earphones in his ears as his feet bob on the desk in time with the tune.

He was enjoying the song until Max comes along and tugs the earphones out rudely.

"Hey! What the f—" Magnus stops before he could let the profanity out and turned to look at the boy "Oh, hello there" he clears his throat "what are you doing here?"

"I'm Max Lightwood, and I want you to show me how Hulk jumps and explain to me why he's green" Max declares matter of factly.

Magnus laughs softly, turning in his chair as he puts his pizza down.

"Would you like something to eat first?" He asks, motioning for the half full box of pizza.

Max shakes his head and Magnus grins, standing up.

"Okay, then" he holds his hand out "come on"

Max beams and puts his hand in Magnus' as the man leads him towards the set.

"Okay, listen" Magnus begins, "you see these?" He points at the bright green walls "these are how the backgrounds are done"

Max looks confused

"The green walls are the background, you can change them in the production room, I'll show you in a moment"

Max nods rapidly in fascination.

"Come here, let's try making you cooler than you already are" Magnus takes Max by the hand and leads him towards the equipment.

He expertly wraps a belt around Max's waist, a belt that's attached to the ceiling, then gestures for him to climb up the stairs.

"Now, darling" Magnus begins "have you watched Cat Woman?" He asks, looking up at the little boy.

Max nods with a grin.

"Remember when she ran away from jail and jumped from the window?" 

Another eager nod.

"We're going to make you do that. Just jump, and you'll land on these soft cushions, the belt will also stop you from colliding and breaking a bone or two" Magnus then turns to the cameraman "shoot this" he orders, taking a step away.

Max does as instructed, jumping and smoothly squatting as he landed a hand on his upper thigh while the other's flat on the floor,

Magnus claps "bravo, young man!" He calls out, "you'll make an amazing actor one day" he walks towards the boy and unbuckles the belt from around his waist before walking him to the production room.

He sits him down and makes Simon change the background to a cool marvel view that Max chose.

And Max is the literal definition of happy, he refuses to let Magnus go, arms around his neck, legs around his waist, and face buried in his neck.

Even when the filming of the movie begins, Max won't let go.

Magnus uses a hand to hold him, while the other shows Jace and Lydia how things need to go.

Alec's trying to stop his heart from beating so fast as he watches the director and his brother.

"Max" Isabelle says softly "let go of Magnus he has work to do"

Max grunts "I don't wanna"

Magnus laughs softly and drops a kiss on the boy's temple.

"We need to get you home" Isabelle sighs, reaching for Max and attempting to pry him off.

"I don't wanna go home, mom is boring I wanna stay with Magnus" Max's voice is muffled against Magnus' neck as he holds on tighter, and Izzy gives up, flailing her arms in annoyance.

Magnus hums, "I have a marvellous idea!" He proclaims "how about you go home and do your homework, and after school tomorrow you can come by so I can show you the clothing section. Do you like men in black? I can dress you in cool clothes and even sneak a fake gun for you?"

Max pulls back, arms still around Magnus' neck, and looks at him.

"Does it look real?" He asks with furrowed brows, contemplating the proposal.

Magnus smirks "of course, dear"

Max sighs as Magnus gets on his knees and sets him down

"Do we have a deal?" He asks

Max gives a small nod then steps forward and hugs Magnus tightly, something that sets the man back on his heels.

He chuckles with a "Woah!" then hugs back, smiling in appease.

"Chop chop then" he stands up and pats him on the head.

"Bye Magnus" Max waves his hand, then walks away with Izzy.

Alec's walking towards the bathrooms, his head bowed. So Magnus decided to follow him and see what's up.

Alec leans against the sinks, eyes shut.

He has never been grateful for Magnus' existence until now, never seen his little brother so happy, especially with parents like his. It was impossible for the Lightwoods to do something they enjoy when they have parents remotely as religious and strict as theirs.

Magnus clears his throat from behind him but Alec does nothing to hide the fact he's on the verge of tears as he turns to face the older man.

Magnus looks at him, lips pulled into a straight line.

Oh how tables turn.

Alec lets a tear slip down his face, and Magnus flexes his jaw, trying to fight the feelings overwhelming him.

The longer Alec looks at him, the more tears slip down his face.

Magnus hesitantly spreads his arms.

And as soon as he does so, Alec crashes into him, hugging him tightly.

Magnus swallows, and reluctantly, he wraps an arm around his waist, the other tangling itself in his hair as Alec just grips onto him.

And before Magnus can ask him what's happening, Alec pushes back and scurries off.

** __________________ **

Magnus is left behind.

Isabelle and Simon went out on a date. 

Lydia was going to visit her family.

Jace was following Clary around town, begging her to listen to him and trying to convince her that he's not with Lydia.

Maia and Raphael went clubbing to find suitable companions.

And there Magnus is, turning the lights off in every room so he can go home and watch movies all night long.

But when he reaches the table read room and turns the light off, leaving only a faint yellow lamp in the corner of the room lit, he pauses.

"Mr. Lightwood?" He asks softly, "sorry, I didn't see you there" he reaches for the switch.

Alec takes another sip of his beer.  
"That's fine" he says "keep the lights off"

Magnus nods and turns to leave, but stops a moment later before turning to him.

"It's thanksgiving" he states "shouldn't you be with your family.. being thankful?" His toes curl in his shoes as he prepares himself for the embarrassment of being told to leave.

Alec laughs softly and turned to look at him.

"I'm not a very thankful person" he muses, his finger circling the rim of his can "what about you, Mr. Bane? Don't you have a family you should be grateful for?" He blinks with an easy smile on his face.

Magnus leans against the doorframe only to act like he wasn't about to faint. Alec fucking Lightwood was smiling. At him. Straight after laughing. Was his birthday on thanksgiving and he just never knew?

"I'm an only child" he murmurs lowly.

Alec blinks "parents?"

"Mother died when I was a child" Magnus answers blatantly, making Alec clear his throat in remorse. 

He looks back down at his can. "Apologies"

"It's okay, I don't remember her much" Magnus says casually, shrugging a shoulder.

"And a father?" Alec looks genuinely curious, unknowing what he's doing to Magnus.

"Enough about me for now" Magnus hums "What about you?"

Alec's tongue trails over his lips.

"Do you mind company?" Magnus reluctantly asks

Alec shrugs "be my guest"

Magnus sits down next to him, and Alec leans forward, forearms on the table as he looks straight ahead.

"My parents aren't the best" he says.

Magnus nods "I've figured that much"

Alec turns to look at him "oppressed" he utters "your father?"

"Alcoholic" Magnus answers "he preferred to spend his money on bottles of beer than my eduction or treating my dyslexia"

Alec closes his eyes.

"Is my beer drinking bothering you right now?" He questions, wrapping both his hands around the can to hide it from view.

Magnus clears his throat "not at all, we all have to forget every once in a while"

Alec gives a small nod.

And they sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes 

"So, what are you thankful for?" Magnus finally asks

"A lot of things. My parents aren't any of them. I'm grateful for my siblings, my life in general, my wealth and health. I guess that's it. What about you Mr. Bane?" Alec looks Magnus in the eye, something that manages to ease the director.

"Honestly?" He thrums "I really like this shirt" he looks down at his shirt "it was the last one with a 70% discount"

Alec laughs wholeheartedly, throwing his head back, and Magnus chuckles, mostly because it's the first time he sees Alec laugh like that, especially because of something he said.

"And my cat" he adds "I'm thankful for my cat"

Alec smiles before taking a gulp of his drink.

His phone rings, and he stares at it for moments.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Magnus queries, straightening his back "I can leave if you need privacy"

"No" Alec replies blandly "I'd rather not" he opens another can of beer and Magnus purses his lips.

"My bartender always told me that heavier drinks are to keep heavier burdens hidden, is there.. anything you want to talk about?" Magnus looks at the caller ID

_Maryse._

"No wait, let me give it a wild guess" Magnus says "is she your ex? Maybe the reason you hate love so much?"

Alec shakes his head.

"A friend? A girlfriend? Ah! Is she a platonic girlfriend?"

Alec clears his throat "It's my mom"

Magnus feels his cheeks heat up shamefully.

"Why would you call your mom by her name?" He mumbles in defence.

"Because she was never a mom to me. She doesn't even deserve to be on my contact list" Alec replies immediately, like it was at the tip of his tongue all along.

Magnus sighs "I'm sure whatever she did, she did it for you. Parents tend to pester their kids but their intention is only to protect them"

Alec abruptly stands up "I'm going home" he takes the phone off the table "thanks for keeping me company"

Magnus puckers his lips guiltily "No problem."

** ♡♡♡ **

"Mr. Lightwood" Jace walks towards Alec "choose me. How the hell do I say it? Lovingly? Desperately?"

Alec hums thoughtfully.

"Well, he's going to kiss her afterwards, he's going to hold her and beg her"

Jace nods

"So I'd say desperation, desperation and anger, desperate because he doesn't want her to leave him, and angry because she prefers herself over him" 

Jace gives a small nod as Clary passes.

"Clary!"

She ignores him and Jace grunts.

Alec holds back a chuckle.

"You guys okay?" He asks, a smirk playing on his lips as he watches the redhead disappear.

Jace looks bewildered as to why Alec isn't being his usual mean self.

"She thinks I like Lydia more than a friend" he mumbles "because I kissed her"

"I've never heard about sticking tongues down throats to show friendly love, is it a new trend?" Alec asks bitterly, but some playfulness is evident in his tone.

Jace furrows his brows "I kissed Lydia while filming. We were filming the first kiss"

Alec's laugh echoes through the room, "she's quite the jealous one I see" he thrums "where's Mr. Bane?"

Jace looks around "he said he's taking today off, something about visiting his family"

Alec looks confused.

Family? He only had a father.

An alcoholic one for that matter.

"Okay" he glances away.

** __________________ **

"Asmodeus Bane" Magnus says as he looks at the receptionist.

She glances up at him then taps her fingers fluently against the keyboard.

"Room 203" she murmurs absently "relation?"

Magnus swallows before forcing out that one word.

"Son"

The woman nods "his condition is stable, speak to his doctor"

Magnus thanks her and makes his way to room 203.

Jusr as he reaches for the doorknob, the door opens and there stands the doctor.

"Hello" Magnus says in a small voice.

"Hello, Mr. Bane" the Dr replies, taking a step out and closing the door behind him "your father is currently sleeping"

Magnus gives a nod

"This is the third time we've had him in the past 2 months" the doctor purses his lips and Magnus lowers his gaze.

"True, yeah, you're right" 

"Mr. Bane" the Dr says "He's in a harsh condition, and not only physically. He's a lonely man. And his continuous drinking can lead to cirrhosis and eventual death"

Magnus chews on the inside of his lip "I'll talk to him" he utters.

"You've been talking to him for years, it's about time you act" the doc sighs out "you can wait till he comes round if you want"

Magnus nods and slips into the room.

** ♡♡♡ **

"You're awake" Magnus says flatly, voice a mess of monotone and bitterness.

"I am" Asmodeus sits up.

Magnus glances at him, then turns back to the window, looking out at the night view of the Hollywood sign.

"When will this stop?" He asks

Asmodeus hums half-awake,  
"Isn't there a drink around here?"

Magnus clenches his jaw.

"Asmodeus," he begins "you're going to rehab"

"Rehab? Eh.. I decline the offer thank you very much" Asmodeus waves him off flippantly "so tell me, son—"

"Don't call me that" Magnus uta in "I'm usually named Mr. Bane, you're lucky I let you call me Magnus"

Asmodeus rolls his eyes.

"But you're my son, the fruit of my loins" he enthuses "do you have money on you?"

"The only money I'm willing to spend on you is your rehab fee" Magnus turns to face him "unlike you, to me, my family's wellbeing matters more than alcohol"

Asmodeus looks at him for a few moments "you have her responsibility"

Magnus gulps hard.

"It's not something I inherited from her, it's something I should have to be this successful" he inhales shakily.

Asmodeus flexes his jaw.

"You were such a smart and talented young boy" he says, eyes softening as he looks at his son admiringly.

"Yeah" Magnus laughs out sarcastically "do people always tend to beat up their bright and skillful children?"

"That only happened once"

"Twice"

"What's the difference?!" Asmodeus exclaims "I was drunk both times!"

"Drunk both times yet here you are 24 years later still drinking like the irresponsible bastard you've always been!"

Asmodeus looks mildly taken aback by Magnus' words, but refuses to show it, so he wears an easy smile and keeps looking at him like none of his son's words affected him.

Magnus mutters a low profanity under his breath before grabbing his jacket and rushing towards the door.

He then stops and turned to look at his father.

"I don't hate you" he affirms "I just wish you could make yourself a better man. If not for me, for mom. Don't disappoint her the same way you did me"

Asmodeus sobers up and opens his mouth to reply.

But before he can let the first syllable out, Magnus is gone.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Look, just fucking concentrate!" Magnus shouts, making Lydia stiffen, "I don't like the damn tone!"

Alec looks up from his book.

Everyone's looking at Magnus now, heeding the change of attitude over the span of the past few days.

"Mr. Bane I'm sorry but—" Lydia starts

"Oh don't throw a pity party! We all have problems!" Magnus cuts her off, waving a flippant hand in her direction.

"Mr. Bane, don't disrespect the actors" Alec says, and Magnus looks at him, about to yell at him as well. 

He ends up sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose, "sorry" he apologises weakly "I need some air" he shuts his eyes.

Alec blinks.

Once Magnus leaves the room and goes straight for the balcony, Alec pushes his chair back and stands.

"Take 7"

"Why 7?" Jace arches a brow "Why not 5? Or 10?"

"Because I said 7" Alec glares in his way before following Magnus.

Magnus leans against the railing, balancing himself with his hands as he looks down at the street.

Alec treads carefully towards him and stands next to him, hands next to his on the barricade, "you okay?" He asks, both of them looking at the park opposite them.

"Great" Magnus replies shortly.

"Mr. Bane" Alec breathes out "I may be a delusional book writer, but trust me, I think rationally and can sense if someone is lying to me or not" turning to look at the director, he sees Magnus shutting his eyes briefly.

"My father.. isn't.. he's not.." he takes a deep breath "we're not on good terms"

Alec nods "understandable."

A few moments pass before Magnus speaks up again.

"When I was four, after my mom's death, he blamed it on me" Magnus' grip on the railing tightens, turning his knuckles white "he began drinking"

Alec turns around and leans his lower back against the balustrade, looking at Magnus.

"He hurt you?"

"Emotionally more than physically" Magnus grimaces, "when I was six, I came back from kindergarten and told him that my teacher wanted to have a word with him, she told him I'm dyslexic-"

"Have dyslexia" Alec chimes in, giving a tut of his tongue.

Magnus averts his gaze to him with a smile.

"Right, have dyslexia" he corrects himself "she told him I can treat it, since I'm still young, that it would be harder to treat when I'm older"

"He refused" Alec hums "preferred his alcohol over you?"

"Convinced me that dyslexia is a super power so I didn't insist we treat it" Magnus chuckles, but stops once he notices that Alec's expression didn't change from the stern, slightly hurt look. 

"That's not funny" Alec says blandly.

Magnus clears his throat  
"And now he's in the hospital" he says "I need to get him into rehab but.."

"He doesn't want to" Alec continues for him.

Magnus gives a nod, trying to convince himself that talking to Alec wasn't easy and didn't relieve him one bit.

"That" he gives a flourish "and he wants money for alcohol"

Alec rolls his eyes.

"Parents" he sighs.

"I'm sure yours were never as bad as he is" Magnus laughs softly.

Alec parts his lips, as if he's about to say something, but closes his mouth after a few seconds.

"We should get inside"

"Yeah, let's do that" Magnus gives a nod "thanks for the talk, Mr. Lightwood"

"No problem, Mr. Bane"

** __________________ **

Isabelle grins as Magnus dabs the pad of his ring finger over her eyelid, applying the smoky grey eyeshadow.

Magnus smiles, "all ready, my dear" he murmurs, then steps back.

She turns around and looks in the mirror, eyes widening.

"Oh my god" is her first line

"You're a god" is her second

Magnus smirks and holds both arms out in a "what can I do? I'm just awesome" fashion.

She turns over and hugs him tightly, repeating her thank yous over and over.

"Have fun on your date" Magnus hums, and she nods, pulling back.

Alec walks into the room a second later.

"Leave us" he orders strictly.

When Magnus p takes a step to leave, mumbling something about how rude Alec is, Alec stops him.

"I was talking to Izzy" he says "I want to talk to you"

Magnus stills and Isabelle arches a brow, looking between the two before walking out of the makeup room.

"What is it?" Magnus asks "if it's about the second scenario, the movie writers are working on changing the—"

"I have decided something" Alec cuts in.

Magnus arches a brow  
"Oh? What is it?" He queries

"I have decided to honour you" Alec looks pleased with himself, a grin plastering across his face as he folds his arms proudly.

Magnus blinks repeatedly. "Oh?"

"Yes" Alec smirks "you can now call me Alec instead of Mr. Lightwood"

Magnus holds back a laugh.

"Oh! Wow!" He fakes a gasp, making it sound as if he's genuinely surprised.

Alec gives a small "mmhm" then leans close into Magnus' ear "even my aunts and uncles have to call me Mr. Lightwood, so you should feel very very special" he whispers.

Magnus' cheeks suddenly turn hot and his eyebrows furrow in confusion at his own blushing.

"Oh" he bites his lip "well, thank you, and in return, I'll let you call me Magnus, how does that sound?"

Alec purses his lips. "Magnus" he coos, testing the name "yeah, yeah, I like the sound of that" he looks at Magnus with an approving nod "Magnus Bane" he says "do you know that that Magnus means—"

"Great, yes" Magnus interrupts "I'm aware"

Alec gives a nod, wanting to question him further but holds his tongue. Everyone knows what Bane means.

"Okay then" he thrums "see ya"

Magnus nods and Alec walks away.

** ♡♡♡ **

It's four pm when a woman stalks in.

Her long black hair is all too familiar, her broad shoulders evident in the tight maroon dress she wore, expression calm, but stern, cold, strict.

Definitely a Lightwood.

"Alec Lightwood!" Is the first thing she yells out as she walks towards Alec.

As soon as Alec catches sight of her, he grabs his bible and opens it onto an upside down random page.

Magnus looks slightly taken aback, and when he sees the fear in Alec's eyes, he steps in front of the woman.

"Who are you?" He asks easily, softly.

She arches a brow at him, then looks him over with a condescending eye.

Yep, definitely a Lightwood.

"I'm his mother, and I want to speak—"

"I apologise, Mrs. Lightwood" Magnus bows his head politely "he's on duty, you can catch him later, but right now he has a lot of work to do"

"Excuse me?" She spits 

"You heard me" Magnus smiles broadly "you're welcome to stay and watch if you want, but from afar, I don't think you'd cause disturbance"

She purses her lips and looks at Alec, who's now actually enthralled in what he's reading.

Then she lets out a defeated breath and turns around, walking away.

Magnus turns to Alec and makes his way towards him.

"You okay?" He questions placidly.

Alec lets a hum escape his throat  
"Yes, why wouldn't I be?" The bogus coolness is obvious, but Magnus decides not to comment.

He sits down

"You looked like you were about to get eaten up" he says "did she evoke bad memories?"

Alec swallows, shaking his head lightly.

"Yeah, uh, no, it's just.." He trails off as he furrows his brows at his bible, then he begins reading to himself.

"Whatcha reading?" Magnus leans over to catch a glimpse.

Alec finishes whispering to himself then turned to Magnus.

"Bible" 

Magnus frowns.

"Okay, I kinda figured that much out, and I know this is none of my business" he begins "but.. you made it clear that you don't believe in love shared between a man and God" he nibbles at his lower lip, "why read his book?"

Alec understands where Magnus is coming from.

"No love. But fear of whether he exists? Yes" he shuts the bible quietly.

Magnus nods "what are you reading?" He repeats himself.

"Leviticus 18:22" Alec replies, not even sparing a glance at the bible.

Magnus licks his lips.

"I..uh.." he scratches the back of his neck shyly, almost shamefully "I'm not familiar with biblical verses" he mumbles sheepishly.

Alec smiles, watching Magnus struggle with his impious admission.

"I'll recite it for you" he clears his throat, "you shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination" he says "It's short but—"

"You're homophobic" Magnus says, interrupting Alec harshly, and it's not a question.

Alec's eyes widen and he looks up at Magnus, "I.."

How does he explain himself without having to share his familial problems?

"Don't bother" Magnus says, "but I swing both ways, so.." he trails off "maybe we shouldn't.. interact. We don't want me infecting you with my semi-gayness, now do we?" He stands up and walks off, completely shocked.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Isabelle said you wanted to talk to me?" Magnus takes a step into the room, arms crossed stubbornly.

"Yeah" Alec clears his throat "It's about.. that"

Magnus blinks.

"If you're going to start telling me about how laying with man will lead to—"

"No" Alec swallows "no"

Magnus nods "speak"

"I.." Alec closes his eyes tightly "I'm not homophobic"

Magnus frowns in amusement, letting out a bitter breathy laugh.

"You're not? But you sounded so happy reading out those, oh so angelic biblical verses!" He extols sarcastically.

Alec slumps in his seat and Magnus sighs.

"Talk" he orders again.

"It's.. it's a family thing" Alec says.

"Go on"

"That's it" Alec looks up at him "that's all you need to know. But I can assure you that I'm not—"

"I told you about my parents" Magnus cuts in.

"So?"

Magnus gives a nod "okay then" he turns around and begins leaving the room.

"That's it?" Alec calls out

"I have work to do, Mr. Lightwood."

** ♡♡♡ **

It's another two days later that Alec makes his decision.

Magnus has just entered the car a few minutes past eight when Alec slips in as well.

Magnus rolls his eyes in irked anger.

"Drive around" Alec orders, "This is going to take some time" then he presses a button that lifts up the partition between the driver and them.

Magnus can't deny his excitement as he plays uninterested.

"I was fifteen" Alec begins, looking straight ahead "I came home after school and informed my parents that I liked boys"

Magnus nearly chokes on air.

_Alec walked into the kitchen._

_He looked uneven, he looked scared as he slowly sat down in his chair._

_"Mom, dad, I have something to say" he said, gnawing at his lower lip as he fiddled with his fingers._

_His mother turned to him with a smile "go ahead, Alec"_

_Alec swallowed._

_"I think you'll hate me" he shut his eyes, "and I've known for a month or two but.. I was— I was too scared"_

_Maryse tutted her tongue._

_"Alec, nothing in this world can make us hate you" she smiled, sitting down in the chair opposite him. "What is it?"_

_Alec took a deep breath, then exhaled it shakily._

_"I think I'm gay"_

_Silence erupted._

_Maryse brought her hand to her lips, as if she just got some type of death news from a relative._

_Robert put his newspaper down and looked up at his son, face twisting in disgust._

_"You're what?!" He bellowed._

_"I'm gay" Alec repeated "I thought.. I thought it was a phase, just an irrational hormonal part of my life but- but I really like guys and—"_

_"Go to your room!" Maryse shouted "immediately!"_

_Alec looked up at her, eyes glazed with tears._

_"Mom—"_

_"I knew from the first time you wrote that ridiculous poem of yours that there was something wrong with you!"_

_A tear slipped down his face and he reached for her hand._

_"Mom—"_

_She snatched her hand away, pulling it to her chest protectively._

_"To your room!" She stood up, pushing her chair back and knocking it over in the process._

_"Pray to God to cleanse your soul from all evil and—" she gritted, but was shortly cut by her son_

_Alec shook his head rapidly. "It's not something that can be cleansed, it's not the devil, it's not a demon, it's just me. Your son, it's who I am and—"_

_" To, your, room!" Robert slammed a bible down in front of Alec "read it over and over again until you realise what your mistake is."_

_Alec choked on a cry, but stood up and took the bible before walking up to his room._

Magnus watches Alec as he speaks, his heart contracting with every tear that slips down the younger man's face.

"Every time I would show interest" Alec whispers "even if it was on TV.." he runs his fingers through his hair "do you know the movie Mission Impossible?"

Magnus gives a small nod.

"I said that Dougray Scott was cute" Alec laughs out.

Magnus watches him, expression softening.

"It was okay if Izzy found Megan Fox hot, or if she found Scarlett Johansson cute, but it wasn't okay for me to find men handsome. They would send me to my room every time, and not let me out until I recited the homophobic verses of the bible, they would take me to church and make me drink from the _blood of Jesus Christ,_ they would sometimes force me into staying up all night, reading and reading from that fucking book, and it was terrible, it was so bad, so fucking bad, Magnus" Alec's hands curl into fists "that's how I developed a severe condition of homosexual ego dystonic mental disorder, as well as theophobia" he turns to Magnus, surprised by how kind Magnus' features are.

Magnus has his shoulder leant against the backrest of the seat, fully turned to Alec. 

"I don't understand what those are" he states interestedly.

Alec looks down at his lap.

"When you have a sexual orientation that's considered wrong, or just in odds with your, or your family's self-image, religion..et cetera.. you start getting anxious, and wanting to change your preference, it becomes an obsession" he murmurs lowly in clarification "theophobia is the fear of God"

Magnus furrows his brows in confusion "aren't you supposed to fear God in order to believe in him?" Magnus queries.

Alec turns to him once again.

"Yes" he says "there are two types of fears. Healthy fear. And irrational, persistent fear. I'm scared of the mention of his name."

Magnus gives a small nod.

"I'm sorry I pressured you into telling me this, if I had known—"

"Don't worry about it, Magnus" Alec cuts in, voice soft and.. vulnerable. So open and vulnerable it almost makes Magnus want to hold him and whisper sweet nothings in— _shut it._

Magnus decides to lighten up the mood.

"You just couldn't stay a week without talking to me, could you?" He smirks teasingly.

Alec laughs softly, something Magnus can't and doesn't want to get used to.

"No, I couldn't" he says, killing the joke. 

Magnus gives a small smile, and maybe, just maybe, his heart made a small doting contraction.

They sit there and talk the night away.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Magnus" Jace walks alongside Magnus "so, I need your advice, I know that you're just a director but you seem to know about all this stuff, so last night..."

"Mr. Lightwood" Lydia catches up with Alec "I was going through the paragraphs this morning, and I think I've found..."

Magnus and Alec descry each other, eyes meeting instantly.

Alec stands, and Lydia stops walking to continue what she's saying.

Magnus continues walking, Jace rambling about God knows what, and when he's half a metre away from Alec, he gives a wink.

Alec bows his head with a smile. 

"..and I don't know what to do!" Jace yells, making Magnus jump.

"What was that, darling?" He asks "repeat yourself"

Jace grunts and walks away with a low complaint about how wrong he was to go for Magnus.

"Are you listening to me, Mr. Lightwood?"

Alec hums "Yeah, whatever" he glances at Lydia with an eye roll "whichever suits you best" then he walks away.

She furrows her brows.

"I wasn't asking for an opinion!" She shouts out after him.

Alec ignores her.

** __________________ **

"Magnus! Magnus! Magnus!"

Last time little Max was here, he was chanting Alec's name,

Magnus turns around just as Max collides with his legs, wrapping his arms around his hips from the side, face buried in his waist.

"Oh, hello, little one" Magnus runs his fingers through Max's hair softly, "what are you doing here?"

Max looks up at him, then pushes back with a crossed face, frowning, brows furrowed.

Such a little Alec, that boy is.

"You said I could come the day after and look at us now!" Little Max exclaims angrily "It's been two weeks!"

Magnus presses his lips together guiltily "you have every right to be mad at me, little guy"

Max keeps his stern anger plastered on his face as he looks up furiously.

Magnus smiles, and Max's lips twitch, yet he refuses to crack a smile.

"Go and sit over there" Magnus points to a seat, "let me just finish this scene then I'll be with you, yeah?"

Max nods, rapidly, then skips away.

Alec crosses his arms, analysing the scene closely.

"No" he says, "it's supposed to be forced on Amara's behalf"

Magnus looks at Alec, then takes a step back, letting him take the lead.

Alec places Lydia's hand on Jace's shoulder.

"Forced" he murmured "tighten your grip on his shirt, let out shaky breaths, you're scared, nervous, avoid looking into his eyes, hesitate. You only have a few days to practice this scene. Do it well"

Lydia nods.

Jace confidently places his hand on her waist.

"Right" Alec takes a step back, "let's start again"

Magnus walks towards Max, who's watching in interest.

"Hola" he sits up on the table next to the child, "como estas?"

Max grunts, crossing his arms.

"Yo soy impaciente" he mutters.

Magnus smirks proudly "lovely Spanish you've got there, little one" he compliments smoothly, earning a proud smirk from the boy. 

"Mom forced me to study it"

At the mention of Maryse, Magnus' smile falters and he cleares his throat.

"That's good" he says blandly.

** ♡♡♡ **

"I just wanna go home" Max complains, hopping off the table and walking towards Isabelle.

Magnus feels his heart drop.

"Wait, don't you want to do what you're here for?" He asks.

Max stops to look at his watch.

_Definitely a miniature Alec._

"It's eight pm, it's late" he says, turning to Magnus.

Magnus hums.

"I'm sure they wouldn't mind if we left a little bit later than usual" he smiles, "come on" he holds his hand out

Max looks at it, then bites his lip and looks up at Isabelle.

Isabelle gives a smile and Max shyly walks towards Magnus, putting his hand in his.

"But I still have to go" Isabelle says.

"I'll drop—"

"I'll bring him home" Alec cuts in.

Magnus peers up at Alec, eyes wide, and Izzy eyes him in shock. 

"You don't have to stay here, we have an interview tomorrow—"

"It's okay" Alec reassures "it won't take more than half an hour"

Max and Magnus smile as Isabelle leaves the room, still flummoxed by Alec's sudden proposal.

** ♡♡♡ **

Turned out that Alec was a little understating when he said half an hour, because there they are, forty five minutes later, still picking out what clothing Max can take.

Magnus is sitting next to Alec as Max changes, and when the little boy steps out, Magnus smiles proudly.

"There we are!" He calls out "finally!"

Alec grunts.

"Can we go now?"

"No" Max replies "you're going to wear this"

"Ha-ha" Alec mocks "very funny"

Max places his hands on Magnus' shoulders, balancing himself as Magnus kneels down, putting the belt around his waist.

"Magnus tell him"

"Alec do as told" Magnus blurts

Alec rolls his eyes, unmoving.

"I want you to wear this tunic" Max starts "dark blue, your favourite colour"

Alec's on his phone now, utterly uninterested.

"And black jeans, oh and a sheath, with a sword, you can be a victorian man in black while I'm a modern one" Max is smiling ear to ear now, "except you're not going to wear black, man in navy!" Max laughs at his own joke.

And Magnus, out of courtesy, laughs along.

"Oh and Magnus you can wear—"

"I'm fine darling" Magnus says immediately before Max can go any further into his illusions "really"

Max looks around.

"Can we take pictures with that big camera uncle Lewis had?"

Alec sighs.

"Can we just go home?" He cries out in boredom.

"Wear those and we can!" Max retaliates smartly. "Because we're not going home until all of us have tried something on!"

10 minutes later, Alec steps out.

And Magnus tries so hard to convince himself that the younger man doesn't look utterly godlike.

"Hello, handsome" Max calls out, "Magnus what do you think?"

Alec's straightening the sheath.

Magnus tries to find the right word.

"He looks nice"

Alec looks up at Magnus, his hair messy and his eyes drooping. 

Oh dear god.

"Your turn!" Max leads Magnus to the clothes.

Magnus ends up wearing a white shirt with a tight black vest on top, and suiting black pants,

His hair's hanging down his forehead as he straightens the shirt.

Alec doubles over instantly, laughing maniacally as if he just read the funniest joke.

Magnus pouts.

"I hate this, it's tight in all the wrong places" he complains.

Alec's expression softens "aw you poor thing" then he bursts out laughing again.

Max's watching his older brother happily, and Magnus has his arms crossed over his chest in mock anger.

They end up taking hundreds of pictures.

Magnus and Max are very photogenic, both of them posing like their pictures will be all over magazines the next day.

Alec, however, regardless the fact he knows exactly how to model, is feeling a little out of character.

He lets Magnus take a few pictures.

Holding Max. Laughing with him. Kissing his cheek.

Then Max takes the camera, and both Alec and Magnus stiffen.

They manage to find sunglasses and laugh their shyness away, backs against one another's, lips puckered "cooly", Alec holding the blade of his sword to Magnus' neck, who has his hand on the handle of his fake gun.

It gets to the point where they forget Max is there, taking pictures, and they end up standing, looking at each other.

Magnus feels his heart beat faster as Alec looks at him.

There's something about it,  
It's like he's opening himself to him.  
Letting him in.  
He looks vulnerable, sad, hurt, desperate. 

And Magnus wants to cry.

"We should go home" Alec rasps out after breaking eye-contact.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Thank you" Alec whispers.

Max's head is against Magnus' lap, his legs spread across Alec's.

"For what?" Magnus replies softly, focusing his attention on the boy as he strokes his hair.

"For.. everything. I've never seen Isabelle so happy, when you were putting her makeup on, she looked like she was about to burst into fireworks" Alec swallows "And for Max, Max isn't a very happy boy."

"He seemed quite happy to me" Magnus chuckles softly.

"With parents like ours, he won't be happy till he's out of the house" Alec flatly says.

Magnus gives a small nod.

"And thank you for being patient with me" Alec finally says.

Magnus smiles and turns to look at him.

"You're very welcome, Alexander"

Alec stiffens.

"Alec, sorry. Alec" Magnus furrowed his brows, his cheeks gaining a red tint.

"No" Alec utters "you can call me that, it's just been a long time.."

"Oh" Magnus bites his lip as the car comes to a stop.

"I know I'm asking for too much" Alec starts "but can you please lead Max to the front door?"

Magnus nods "of course"

He carries Max bridal style and makes his way to the door of Alec's childhood home.

He uses his elbow to ring the doorbell.

Maryse opens the door, prompting an egoistic smirk that clearly says 'yes, you hate me and I'm hanging with not only one of your children, but all three' from Magnus.

"Good evening" he starts "here's your son" he places Max in her arms and she furrows her brows

"Where has he been?" She asked

"You would know if you paid more attention to him in general" Magnus has no right to speak to her like that, but he very much dislikes that woman.

"You're Magnus Bane" she states

"The one and only" Magnus smiles arrogantly, easily cocking a brow.

"Where's Alec?" She asks, looking behind him to catch a glimpse of the tinted windows of the car.

"In the car" Magnus replies.

Maryse looks at him with a cold expression "are you and him—"

"None of your business" Magnus cuts in "but if you really want to know, no. We're not. He's straight, right?"

"Right" Maryse nods 

"He's very straight, the straightest of them all" and with that last sentence, Magnus leaves, not wanting to punch her right in the face and risking waking Max.

"How'd it go?" Alec asks

"Honestly?" Magnus replies "I don't know how you could live with her for so long."

Alec laughs softly "that bad?"

"Worse" Magnus utters "get me home, Mr. Lightwood, we have an interview tomorrow morning"

Alec nods.

"Drive!"

** ♡♡♡ **

"Hello?" Isabelle rasps out groggily "Alec are you okay?" Sitting up in bed, she turns the bedside lamp on.

"Iz" Alec whispers "I need you"

She glances at the time

1:47am

"I'll be right there, Alec, just—"

"No" Alec cuts in "just.. talk to me here"

Isabelle loves Alec, he's her brother, of course she loves him. But she can't help but feel selfish as she smiles at the fact she won't have to go through the trouble of getting dressed and leaving the house at nearly 2am.

She lies back in bed after switching the lights off.

"What is it, big bro?" She asks softly.

"The verses aren't working" Alec replies, voice small and weak.

"Aren't working? How aren't they working?" Izzy soothes, hoping her tone will somewhat calm him.

"They're supposed to cleanse the wrongful thoughts" Alec swallows.

Isabelle inhales sharply.

"What is this about, Alec?" Her voice is shaky now, sad and compassionate.

Alec stays silent.

"Alec? You there?" 

"Yeah, yeah I'm here" Alec thrums absentmindedly "I'm here" 

"Is it about.." She bites on her lip "did you find an actor hot again? Alec, it's okay. I'm totally gay for Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey, she's so hot like—"

"It's Magnus" Alec sputters.

Isabelle freezes.

"Magnus Magnus? Magnus Bane Magnus? _The_ Magnus?" She yells in an excited whisper.

Alec closes his eyes.

"He's just so.." flexing his jaw, he rolls over, "so understanding and I really want to be his friend"

"Friend?" Isabelle deadpans "friend? Really?" Rolling her eyes, she tuts her tongue in disapproval.

"Yes" Alec answers "I want to care for him"

Isabelle feels her heart swell, and she gulps thickly, inwardly cursing her parents for what they have done to their son.

"Care for him how?" She finds her voice to say after a handful of pensive moments.

"Promise not to tell him?" Alec asks.

Isabelle smirks "cross my heart heart and hope to die"

"I want to help him with something" Alec starts "I can't tell you what it is, but his parents never did it for him so I'm going to do it for him" 

Isabelle hums "I think he'd like that" she says, not wanting to push her brother any further.

"Ok, goodnight, Iz. Thanks for the extremely useless talk" Alec's back to his usual ungrateful self.

Isabelle rolls her eyes at the change of attitude.

"Sometimes I wonder if you have a switch that you just flick, just a minute ago you were literally a small innocent cinnamon bun and now—"

Alec hangs up, making Isabelle chuckle softly and sink under her sheets in content.

** ♡♡♡ **

The following morning, Alec doesn't even want to get out of bed, he slept at 2am and is now a mess of drowsiness, indolence and just no.

He rolls over and falls out of bed, muttering a low profanity as he gets entangled in his sheets,

Then he stands up, muscles stiff and knotted.

"Why?" He breathes out dramatically. "Why?"

He endeavours to gather up some strength and eventually gets himself in his clothes.

He never understood people who could shower at 7am, especially in the freezing cold. It seemed unrealistic to him.

So he tries to brush his hair. A few times. Didn't really work so he gives up with a defeated sigh, then brushes his teeth and grabs his bag.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Hello, sleepy head!" Magnus chirps, making Alec scrunch his face up with a hiss.

"Too loud" he whispers.

"Sorry, darling" Magnus chuckles, "what time did you go to bed last night?"

Alec mutters something under his breath.

"What was that?" Magnus strains his ear, cupping the shell with his hand.

"3:41am" Alec mumbles.

"Aw you poor thing" Magnus recites from the day before "here, drink coffee"

"I think coffee is an unhealthy and superfluous way to get rid of—"

"You're such an odd man" Magnus says, mostly to himself, "It's just coffee"

"I've never had coffee in my life" Alec replies blandly.

Magnus pauses for a moment.

"Ever?" He turns to him, eyes wide, "like never ever?"

"Ever" Alec confirms with a nod.

"You should try it" Magnus holds his cup up "It's delicious"

Alec hesitates, looking between the cup and Magnus for a couple of thoughtful seconds, then he takes the drink from Magnus' hand and brings it to his lips, taking a small sip.

"Good?" Magnus queries.

"Good" Alec replies, handing him the cup back. 

They can hear the interviewer introducing himself and who the special guests are, and when their names come up, Magnus makes a "your majesty" gesture with his hand "ladies first" he smirks.

Alec chuckles and walks out, Magnus on his heel.

The cheers from the crowd make Alec want to screech.

He's too tired for this.

"Good morning, Mr. Lightwood, Mr. Bane!" The interviewer begins "How are you today?"

"Tired" Alec grumbles into the microphone.

Magnus chortles softly.

"I'm great, very energised" He flexes his muscles to prove his point and another set of cheers come their way, making him wink playfully. 

"Okay! So, how are you feeling about fifty shades darker stealing the spotlights?" He asks cheerfully, eyes on Alec, and Alec suddenly straightens his back.

"I don't feel a thing" he says "you know what?" He wiggles in his seat energetically and Magnus momentarily wishes he hasn't given him his coffee because Alec was now much more hyped up than he usually is.

"I don't even see much of a point behind portraying BDSM in such a vile way" he says "I've researched BDSM countless times, and the way the fifty shades series was written seriously put me off. Christian and Anastasia's relationship is so toxic! I don't even see a spec of love, it's just sex, very animalistic sex for that matter. So to answer your question, I'm not surprised. Our society just loves nakedness and that's okay, I'm in no position to judge. Live and let live" he glances at Magnus who's picking at a thread of his jeans, smirking lightly.

"I like the way you view things, Mr. Lightwood" the interviewer agrees "and you, Mr. Bane?"

Magnus looks up.

"Did you read fifty shades of grey?"

Magnus shrugs.  
"I tried" he says "not my type"

"Okay! So we know that you two aren't on very good terms but, have you learnt anything from each other during the time you spent in each other's company?"

Alec opens his mouth "you go first" he looks at Magnus.

Magnus breathes into his mic, lips parting as he tries to compose his ideas.

"I've learnt a lot of things from Mr. Lightwood" he begins "I've learnt that first impressions don't matter once you get to know a person, and that even if someone's bitter and rude, there'll always be those few people that he has a soft spot for"

Alec's eyelashes shield his hazels as he looks down almost… shyly.

"Magnus is a very complex man" he begins, "he's patient, and he's optimistic, I like that. I've learnt to see the silver lining in everything"

Magnus feels his cheeks turn hot, and he smiles despite himself.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Are you busy?" Alec asks as he leans against the doorframe "I need to talk to you"

Magnus turns to him and offers a friendly smile.

"I'll stay behind" he squeezes his eyes momentarily, reassuring Alec, who nods his head and turns to leave.

When he finally finishes, Magnus walks into the break room, where Alec's sitting on the couch.

He smiles warmly when he catches sight of Magnus.

"Sit down" he pats the spot next to him.

Magnus walks towards him and does as told, taking a seat next to him.

Alec slips a book onto Magnus' lap, making Magnus' brows rise in confusion.

"This is my favourite book" he begins "I want you to read it, with me"

Magnus fumbles with the book, then bites at his lip.

"Dyslexie?"

Alec nods with a proud beam.

"Okay" Magnus starts "but you'll have to be patient with me" he flutters his eyelashes as Alec with a teasing flash of his teeth. 

Alec nods, shifting slightly to get in a better position, then places his hand across the backrest of the couch, and Magnus starts getting even more comfortable.

"Start" Alec orders

Magnus manages to read the first two chapters of the great gatsby, then he shuts down.

"My eyes hurt" he says quietly.

Alec instantly closes the book and sits up.

"Tell me next time, when you start getting uncomfortable" he retreats the book and throws it to the side.

Magnus gives a crooked smile that warms Alec's heart "I was engrossed"

"Now, I have a plan" Alec begins "we'll start with reading this" he holds the book up again "then I'll teach you a few things, simple but not very known. For example, how to write an emotional scene, emotional scenes are really annoying to write but you can get the hang of it, I believe in you"

Magnus looks at him, blinking as he speaks and speaks and speaks. 

_I believe in you._

"I'm rambling" Alec finally cuts himself, rubbing his nape shyly.

Magnus laughs, shaking his head lightly "oh, please don't let my presence stop you" he says playfully, and Alec crosses his arms, breathing something under his breath.

"Thank you, Alexander" Magnus finds his voice to say.

Alec closes his eyes at the mention of his full name.

Then stands up.

"It's getting late, need a ride home?" He offers kindly, and Magnus shakes his head.

"No, I'm good" he smiles up at him.

"Okay" Alec nods "keep the book"

"I'll see you tomorrow, right?" Alec turns to him after he takes a few steps to the door.

Giving a nod of his head, Magnus stands up.

"Yeah, okay, good" and with that, Alec scutters out the room.

** __________________ **

"Hey, Raph" Magnus greets into the phone "I'm sorry, I won't be able to make it today, I have things to do"

Raphael sighs.

"I'll ask Mr. Lightwood if he can direct today, even though he's of no use—"

"He's not of no use" Magnus interrupts sharply "don't be so rude"

Raphael smirks, eyes on Alec, who's too busy yelling at the staff.

"What happened to you?" He chuckles "I hope you haven't fallen under the sway of his charm, Mr. Bane"

Magnus rolls his eyes "I don't know what you're talking about"

"Sure you don't" Raphael teases, "okay, I'll text you the details, hermaso" and with that, he hangs up.

Magnus slips his phone into his pocket and looks at his father.

"Oh, don't look at me like that" Asmodeus rolls his eyes with a groan.

Magnus sighs.

"You know I'm doing this for you, right?" He asks as he starts the car.

"I know" Asmodeus mutters in exaggerated annoyance, and Magnus smiles slightly "but I don't see why you would even want me alive, I've done nothing but—"

"You're my father" Magnus inputs "and no matter what, I do love you"

Asmodeus says nothing.

"And i know how hard it is to get rid of a habit like that" 

"But do you?" Asmodeus muses, half interested and half mocking.

"I do" Magnus answers "You've been absent most my life so you don't know half the shit I've been through."

"Enlighten me"

Magnus shakes his head with a sigh.

** ♡♡♡ **

Magnus sits on a swing, head resting against the chain as he shuts his eyes.

He had just come back from dropping his father off at his house.

He wants to go home and slip straight into bed, but there's something keeping him from doing that. So he parked next to an empty park at 1 am and there he is, swaying lightly on the swing as he stared up at the stars blindly, just enjoying the soughing of the wind.

"Beautiful view, huh?"

Magnus sits up instantly and wipes beneath his eyes as he clears his throat.

"Right, yes" he utters, voice hoarse with tears "what are you doing here?" He avoids looking at Alec but feels his swing shift slightly as the younger man sits in the swing next to his.

"The company's balcony has a nice view of this place, and I saw you" Alec replies, "you look like you could use a talk"

Magnus inhales through his lips as he looks back up at the stars.

Shooting stars are racing across the night sky and both men find themselves smiling. 

"Really pretty don't you think?" Magnus queries rhetorically as he lets out a breath.

"And dead"

Magnus laughs unexpectedly "you really know how to kill the mood, Alexander"

Alec grins, shrugging a shoulder.

"It's true, people think that wishing upon a star would get them what they need, but in reality, those stars are all dead" h states naturally, making Magnus scoff, then turns to look at him.

Alec's profile looks beautiful and Magnus can't help but admire his long lashes, high cheekbones, and perfectly sculptured throat.

Alec's looking up, admiring the sky regardless what he's saying.

"And so are people's dreams" he finishes airily, jaw flexing momentarily.

Magnus blinks and Alec turns to look at him, making him look away immediately.

"Were you just gawking at me?!" Alec exclaims dramatically. 

Magnus smirks and looked down at his shoes.

But he doesn't answer.

"Hey" Alec murmurs "you okay, dear?" 

Magnus gives a small hum.

"I'm worried" Alec states.

Magnus gulps, trying to swallow down the lump in his throat.

"Magnus" Alec's tone is laden with genuine care, and a second later, he's squatting in front of Magnus, looking up at him with those beautiful hazels "do you want to talk about it?"

He always knows exactly what to say.

Magnus shakes his head.

Alec purses his lips, not in disappointment but in sincere sympathy. 

"If you don't wanna talk about it" he begins "forget about it"

Magnus is about to protest but Alec stands and holds his hand out "let's have some fun"

"I don't feel like clubbing or—"

"Who said anything about that?" Alec furrows his brows "come on"

Magnus looks at his hand, then up at him, and he ambivalently placed his hand in Alec's big warm one. "I hope you're not suggesting—" he begins his insinuations.

Alec stands him up and guides him to the slide.

"We'll start with this" he smirks.

Magnus laughed softly

"Are you serious?" He snorts "I'm 30! You're 23!"

"And we want to have fun, chop chop" Alec ushers Magnus up the ladder and follows after him.

"You first" Alec says.

"No, you first" Magnus retorts.

"You're shorter!" Alec complains.

"You're longer!" Magnus stomps his foot childishly.

"Taller! Not longer, Magnus!" Alec laughs wholeheartedly, "I need to work on your—"

"No, you're longer as in you will land gracefully because you're practically as long as the slide, you don't say as tall as the slide. Besides, I'll tumble down!" Magnus takes ahold of the front of Alec's shirt.

Alec's laugh continues for another few seconds before Magnus shoves him back and sends him clumsily rolling down. 

Alec, in the heel of the hunt, holds onto Magnus' shirt and they both tumble down the slide messily, Magnus landing on top of Alec as they both shake with silent giggles.

"You bitch" Magnus breathes out "you nearly ripped my shirt"

"You nearly broke my neck!" Alec complains, and Magnus smiles down at him.

"I'm sorry"

Alec stares up at him for a few seconds.

"Magnus?"

"Hm?"

"Race you to the see-saw!" Alec pushes Magnus off and falls several times till he's next to the see-saw.

Magnus rolls his eyes.

It's an hour later that they end up laying on the grass, breathless and sweaty.

"That was amazing" Alec exhales.

"It was" Magnus chuckles "thank you"

Alec shrugs "no problem"

Magnus then lets exhaustion take the best of him and falls asleep.

** ♡♡♡ **

Magnus rolls over, now laying on his stomach, eyes still closed as he grunts.

"Fuck" he rasps out, instantly swallowing when he feels how dry his throat is.

Slowly squinting his eyes open, he hums and let his surroundings sink in.

Then he sits up in panic.

"What the.."

"You're awake" comes Alec's voice.

Magnus blinks a few times before looking at him.

"Where am I?"

"My place" Alec's tidying around his room as he speaks.

Alec's room is beautiful, with its massive dark teal bed, curtains hung at the sides.

The big dressing table, and the huge walk-in closet, the wall sized window that gave a lovely view of the Hollywood sign. It's all amazing.

The paintings hung on the wall and the huge crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling.

Magnus has a room equally as big, but when you see your room every day, you start finding everyone else's appealing. It's human nature.

"You okay?" Alec cuts him out of his thoughts.

"What? Yeah" Magnus smiles and turns to look at him "I'm great thank you for asking but, um.. why am I here?"

"Well, you fell asleep at the park, I wasn't just going to leave you there" Alec places slippers next to the bed, "here, they're fluffy, and warm too"

Magnus grins and slips out of bed.

"You could've just drove me home, no nee—" Magnus furrows his brows "Did you undress me?"

Alec crosses his arms over his chest.

"You make it sound so dirty" he says "I prefer the term.. rid you of your clothes" he affirms.

Magnus peeks down at the only piece of clothing he's wearing other than his briefs.

"Is this yours?" He asks as he runs his hand over the black woolen sweater.

"Yes" Alec replies "if you want to shower, you can shower in there" he points to a built-in bathroom, "or there's a bathroom just down the hall. I don't use it because last time I did, I caught someone staring in at me from the window"

Magnus laughs  
"Why would you have a window in a shower, Alec?" 

Alec shrugs

"In case the humidity—"

"Never mind I don't wanna know" Magnus stands up, the sweater reaching his mid-thigh.

"You most likely enjoyed ridding me of my clothes" he smirks up at Alec, tilting his head to the side "didn't you?"

Alec deadpans, evidently unimpressed.

"I don't find your body appealing" he says "nor do I have interest in ridding you of your clothes, I just wanted you to have something to wear when you're leaving"

Magnus sighs  
"Why do you take everything seriously?" He mumbles, "I'll shower after breakfast"

"Breakfast?" Alec asks, a spark of anxiety seeping into his words "I didn't make any"

"You let me spend the night" Magnus smiles "I'll make breakfast"

Alec watches him leave the room, lips puckering slightly.

** ♡♡♡ **

Magnus makes pancakes.

And Alec's too embarrassed to tell him that he had never in his life tasted pancakes.

"Do you prefer yours with chocolate or jam?" Magnus holds both containers up.

Alec parts his lips and looks between the two.

"Jam. It has pectin, which is a substance—"

"Alexander!" 

Alec looks away.

"Forget about your health for one second and tell me which you prefer, in taste?"

"I.. any, I don't know"

"You don't—" Magnus pauses "you've never had pancakes?"

Alec looks at the pancakes.

"No" he utters.

"Have a seat then"

Alec sits down and Magnus places the plate in front of him.

He decides to go for Nutella.

And when Alec takes the first bite, his eyes widen.

"This is.." he trails off

"Good?" Magnus cocks his head to the side as he eats his own.

"Delectable" Alec corrects, chewing on the piece with a moan.

"Eat up then"

** ♡♡♡ **

When breakfast is over, Magnus stands up and gathers up the plates.

He takes them to the sink and turns the tap.  
Several times.

"What the—" he begins turning it harder, almost breaking it but stops when he ears it creak with wide eyes, lips puckering guiltily.

Alec chuckles as he approaches him from behind.

"Calm down, dear" he breathes into his ear, his arms trapping his body against the sink as he held Magnus' hand.

He smirks "patience is a virtue" he whispers, placing Magnus' hand under the tap,

The water comes running down instantly.

"Sensitive to heat rays" Alec clarifies.

Magnus' heart starts beating faster in his chest, and he tilts his head back to look up at Alec.

Alec smiles.

He really has no clue what he's doing to Magnus, does he?

.

"Do you live alone?" Magnus asks as he walks into the living room, looking around.

"I do"

Magnus hums.

"It must get lonely, your house is way too big" he turns on his heel to give Alec a quick empathising look.

It is too big. And it isn't the homey type of big either. Only his bedroom gave off the comfy vibes.

The kitchen's big, with a silver double fridge, big wooden cupboards, white tiled walls.

The bathroom's huge as well, dark grey walls, glass doors, pretty but not Magnus' type.

And now the living room is very empty.

Marble grey floor, massive LCD screen hung on the grey wall.

And three black sofas.

That's it.

Magnus furrows his brows.

"I don't like your living room" he mumbles.

Alec shrugs, not know what to say. After all, Magnus' entitled to his opinion.

"It's so cold and distant and.." he trails off "so you" he blurts.

Alec lowers his gaze sheepishly, playing with his sleeves as he bites on his lip awkwardly.

"I didn't mean that" Magnus sighs "but you were cold and distant when we first met"

"I was"

Magnus sits down on the couch.

"At least the sweater looks good with the room" he points out uncooperatively.

Alec watches him from afar.

"Draw me Alexander" Magnus finally says, sprawling himself across the sofa "draw me like one of your French girls"

Alec chortles, shaking his head at how silly Magnus is being.

"What's this?" Magnus hops off the sofa and walks towards a bookshelf, "can I?" He asks

Alec nods, giving him a welcoming gesture with his hand, and Magnus only runs his hand over the binders, humming softly.

Then he stops and pulls a book out.

Alec suddenly feels his chest tighten.

He's forgotten.

He forgot to read.

"Magnus" he whispers.

Magnus looks at him.

"I think you should.." Alec flexes his jaw "I think you should go"

Magnus nods. "Right" he says as he places the book back in the bookshelf.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind, it is abomination"

"Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind, it is abomination"

"Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind, it is abomination"

"Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind, it is abomination"

"Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind, it is abomination"

"Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind, it is abomination"

Alec takes a deep breath and puts the book down before laying back against his pillow.

He shuts his eyes briefly, then looks up at the ceiling. He can't keep Magnus out of his head and he hates himself for it.

** __________________ **

"I like this soundtrack more" Magnus taps his fingers against the back of Simon's seat, "no, not that one!"

Simon rolls his eyes and plays it once again, making Magnus pat the toe of his shoe against the floor several times, eyes closed, head bobbing lightly "yess" he hums "I like this one."

Magnus leaves the production room.

"I can't believe we're nearly finished!" Jace exclaims "It's been like two months and it feels like hours"

"Agreed" Lydia links her arm in his.

Clary stomps her foot childishly and runs off.

"Come on baby!" Jace calls out after her.

Magnus laughs softly and walks towards Alec.

"Hello, handsome" he murmurs, "How's work?"

Alec looks up at him through his glasses, blinking twice.

"Work's fine" he smiles "What's up with Jace and Claire?"

"Clary" Magnus corrects

"Whatever, she's annoying regardless her name" Alec makes a flourish.

Magnus laughs softly.

"She thinks Jace likes Lydia" 

"She's not over that stupid kiss?" Alec rolls his eyes.

"What kiss?" Magnus knits his brows.

"Remember when Amara and Vincent had to kiss? She didn't like the fact Lydia and Jace had to do it too"

Magnus laughs softly.

"What a kid, that one is"

Alec smiles.

"Come here, then" he pats the seat next to him, and Magnus follows his order.

"Read this for me?" Alec slides the laptop in Magnus' direction.

Magnus clears his throat and sits up.

"It is possible to wear your heart on your sleeve and be vulnerable to the monstrosity of emotions, it is very possible as long as you know the ending will be unpromising" Magnus said, voice soft, tone composed.

Over the past month, Alec has made him exercise, and Magnus' now fluent at reading.

Alec smiles.

"That was amazing" he compliments.

"Is that how you feel?" Magnus asked, turning to look at Alec.

"Yes" Alec nods "maybe, a little"

Magnus nods slowly and moves his hand to Alec's beneath the table, holding it.

Alec lets out a breath and interlaces their fingers.

Magnus has also earned the label "best friend" over the past month.

"Unlike books, Alexander," Magnus begins "our fate is in our hands, not a writer's"

"God writes down our future"

"I'm not much of a religious man" Magnus states "but if you insist on that, then I want you to know that God also gives you choices. Not everything is up to him. That's why religion believes in judgement day, because if everything was up to God, then why are we even here?" 

Alec looks at him for a few moments, lips agape.

Then he leans over and pressed a kiss to his temple.

And Magnus' heart stops beating for merely a second as he feels the tenderness of Alec's lips.

** ♡♡♡ **

"So" Isabelle bumps her shoulder into Magnus' "what's up with you two?"

Magnus smirks "I don't know what you're talking about"

"You don't?" She muses "everyone's talking about the director and the author"

Magnus bites at his lip.

"As I said, I don't know what you're talking about" he answers blandly.

"Magnus" Isabelle sighs "I'm not blind or stupid"

"I never accused you of being any of those" Magnus gasps in feigned horror.

"So I saw that kiss he pressed to your head earlier" Izzy drawls with a chuckle.

Magnus feels his cheeks heat up.

"And that's the first time I've ever seen him show any affection towards anyone, especially someone other than his family" her tone's serious now "so please, Magnus" she pleads "please.. you don't know what he's been through"

"I do" Magnus answers "he told me"

Isabelle freezes.

"He told you?" She blinks, realising how serious Alec is about his… relationship?… with Magnus.

"Yes"

"Alec told you?" Turning to him, her eyes widen.

"Yes" Magnus averts his gaze to her "he told me, and I told him something in return"

She smiles slightly

"So.. please don't.. just, take care of him, will you?" It's odd hearing Izzy stutter and stammer over her words, but Magnus understands where all that is coming from.

"You have my word, I will take very good care of him" he answers "he's my best friend"

"We both know that's not true" Isabelle rests her head against Magnus' shoulder "and that's fine, Alec is a likeable person once you're on his good side" they both look at Alec who's shouting at Lydia.

And Magnus laughs.

"He's such a strong man" he finally says.

And Isabelle hums in agreement.

"The hurt he's been through turned his heart to rock" she murmurs.

Magnus grimaces.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Bible?"

"What? Yeah, no" Alec instantly puts the book away and Magnus shakes his head lightly.

"You know," he says as he takes his seat beside the taller man "it's okay, nothing to be ashamed of"

Alec looks at Magnus.

"I'm not ashamed.. I just.." he looks away slowly, "don't want you thinking that I'm one of those scrupulous I release you from your demons type of guy"

Magnus throws his head back with a laugh and Alec smiles, happy he made Magnus laugh, but confused as to why he's laughing.

"Oh, Alexander" Magnus looks back at him "you're so precious"

Alec smiles wider.

"I'd never view you as oppressed or obsessed" Magnus pinches his cheek and Alec swats his hand away.

"You should just know that not everything in the bible is true"

Alec turns to face him intently.

"True" he begins "but I've researched Judaism, I've researched Islam, and I've researched Christianity, all three religions have forbidden homosexuality in common" he says "so there must be some right in there, correct?"

"No" Magnus replies flatly, "no"

And Alec pouts.  
He pouts.

Repetition. Alec _pouts._

Magnus looks between his eyes and his pout before rolling his eyes.

"Don't give me that" he says, voice quavering as he tries to prise the image of that pout from his mind.

Alec sighs "I'm just.. confused, I'm confused"

"Do you want to talk religion and homosexuality?" Magnus' voice holds a serious timbre.

"Yes"

"Okay then, how about we start with religion isn't just Judaism, Christianity, and Islam? We have Atheism, we have Satanism, we have Buddhism, Raëlism.. we have thousands of religions" Magnus' practically humming the words out and Alec finds himself enthralled in his words.

"So" Magnus starts again "What makes you think that Christianity is the right religion for you?"

Alec parts his lips.

"There's no suiting persona when it comes to religion, Magnus" he says "you can't just say, I look pretty today so I'm going to be a Jewish man, or I look quite classy today I'm going to be a Muslim, that's just ridiculous"

Magnus heaves a breath.

"Alexander" his expression softened "do you believe in God?"

"No" Alec instantly blurts, which knocks Magnus back on his heels. "I don't know, no..I don't."

Magnus looks at him.

"Then does it matter whether you follow the bible or not?" He says in enquiry "does it matter if there's no one there to hear you?"

Alec swallows.

"I'm just.." he trails off, and Magnus strokes his hair away from his forehead, something that makes Alec close his eyes and exhale in relief.

"It's okay, honey, it's a habit, and maybe, deep down, you find comfort in reading those verses. That's okay" he assures absently as he continues running his fingers through the front of Alec's hair.

Alec's blushing fiercely, and Magnus can't help but admire him with a smile.

"I just don't want it to melt my brain and mould it into something different. I don't want to grow up and be one of those people who stop youngsters in the streets to tell them what they're doing is wrong" Alec's voice is barely audible, and Magnus' heart clenches.

"Darling, look at me" he coos, but Alec refuses, head tilted downwards "you won't be that type of man, do you know why?" Magnus asks, smiling as he ducks his head to get a better look at Alec "because you know what it's like to be forced to believe something"

Alec gives a small nod and turns back to his bible, making Magnus' heart clench painfully.

"I'll leave you to it then" he stands up and begins to leave, but stops to turn to Alec, "and again, there's nothing to be ashamed of Alec, not your feelings, and not your religion" then he walks away.

Alec watches him leave, then his eyes flutter shut and he looks back at the bible, opening it to the page mostly used.

And he repeats that one verse over and over again, renewing the engravement in his mind.

** __________________ **

"Your fridge is empty!"

Magnus rolls his eyes and slumps back.

Maia rushes into the room, standing in front of him as she places a hand on her hip sassily.

"When was the last time you went grocery shopping?" She arches a brow.

Magnus smiles up at her.

His arresting smile that's absolutely contagious.

He's hoping that the smile won't only spare him a lecture from Maia, but also make her go and do the shopping for him. But apparently she's immune to his charm.

She arches her brow further, tapping her fingernails against her upper arm as she shakes her leg patiently.

"Done trying to enchant me?" She asks.

Magnus rolls his eyes.

"Get up, we're doing the shopping!" She throws Magnus' jacket at him.

** ♡♡♡ **

"This list is going on forever" Magnus mutters.

"Maybe if you considered doing the shopping earlier or on a weekly basis, this shopping trip would've ended hours ago!" Maia scolds in response, making Magnus grunt and breathe out a low 'shut up, I'm a busy man.'

"I'll get the vegetables, you go and get yourself a new toothbrush, loofah, and shampoo" she ushers him away with a motion of her hand.

Magnus grumbles but does as told.

He finds difficulty choosing between the amber coloured loofah and the red, but eventually went for red, suiting his toothbrush with it.

He's in the shampoo section when he catches sight of Max, walking down the isle with his hands deep in his pockets.

"Hello, young man. Troubled?" Magnus smirks.

Max looks up at him. And his eyes pool with tears.

Magnus instantly kneels down in front of him and places his hands on his upper arms, steadying him.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" He asks softly.

And Max sniffles.

"Nothing"

"Quite tenacious you are" Magnus pinches his cheek "just like your brother"

Max looks downwards.

"Maxwell" Magnus sighs out "Where are your parents?"

"I don't know and I don't care I hope they slip and die" Max mumbles in complaint, making Magnus smirk but tut his tongue disapprovingly.

"Well that's not a very nice thing to say" he teases.

Max looks up at him.

"Are necklaces for thugs?"

Magnus' eyes widen in mild surprise.

"Do I look like a thug to you?" His brows rise in amusement.

"I don't know what thugs is" Max mumbles under his breath.

"Thug means a violent person.. usually a murderer or a thief or someone from a mob" Magnus explains with a wave of his hand.

"No, you look classy. Handsome" Max looks Magnus over and Magnus chuckles.

"Why thank you young man, you look quite charming yourself" he ruffles Max's hair "now, what's all the fuss about?"

"I wanted a necklace but mom said they're for thugs"

Magnus flexes his jaw.

"Maybe she just can't afford a necklace" he smiles.

"No, she told me to choose something else, and when Izzy told her to get me the necklace she said another word and Izzy got mad and left" Max is looking around as he speaks.

"What was the word?" Magnus asks curiously.

Max leans into his ear.

"She said that she doesn't want me to be a gay puff" he whispers.

Magnus stills. "Oh" he swallowed

"What if I want to be—"

"Max" Magnus cuts in, "look, how about you take one of my necklaces?"

Max beams.

"But you mustn't tell Maryse that you have it. Hide it, yeah?"

Max nods and Magnus takes the necklace off and puts it around Max's neck.

Max instantly pushes it under his shirt with a happy upturn of his lips.

"Thank you, Magnus" he gives Magnus a hug and Magnus hugs back tightly.

"You're welcome, charming"

** ♡♡♡ **

"I demand to see him immediately!"

Both Magnus and Alec's heads snap up as they heard the familiar voice of that snake.

"Busy" Alec calls out lazily, dismissively.

"I'm not talking about you!" Maryse seethes "I'm talking about that director of yours!"

Alec looks at Magnus, brows furrowing.

And Magnus bites at his lip, knowing what all the fuss is about.

"Let her in" he says, then stands up as she enters, Max at her heel.

"Hello, Mrs. Lightwood, how may I help you?" Magnus asks politely

"You can help me by not giving my son useless crap" she bellows, making everyone turn to look at her.

Alec stands up immediately, eyes narrowing at her.

"He didn't give me—" he starts. Maryse pushes Max towards Magnus, and Max looks down, chain held tightly in hand.

"Say it!" Maryse snarls at her littlest son, who has small tears falling down his face.

Max slowly holds the chain up, eyes still on the floor, toes wiggling in his shoes.

"Mom said I'm not a.."

"A?" Maryse pushes, her grip on his shoulders tight.

"A f-f.. I'm not a f-fag"

Magnus freezes. Alec freezes. Even Jace and Lydia, who thought that it would be impertinent to eavesdrop freeze to look at the 7 year old boy.

"A- A fag?" Last time Magnus heard that word, it was when he was in London and a very gothic man asked him if he wanted to _scav a fag_ with him, which basically meant _have a smoke._

Magnus takes a step forward.

"I'm sorry" Max looks up at him, "she found it under my pillow" he sniffles, lifting his hands to wipe his sleeve over his wet cheeks.

Magnus smiles, trying to obscure the pain, but having his eyes betray him by tearing up, then he slips the chain from between Max's tiny fingers.

"It's okay, handsome" he tries to say, but his voice breaking mid sentence gives it all away.

Alec steps forward.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" He grits, throwing a pointed glare in his mother's direction. "Everyone out!" He then shouts before his mother has the chance to retaliate.

Everyone follows his order, leaving only Magnus, Alec, Maryse and Max in the room.

Alec begins pacing, running his fingers through his hair in sheer fury before he turns to his mother.

"He-" He licks at his lips, trying to fathom her actions "he's seven!" Okay, that comes out louder than intended.

She jumps, eyes shutting for a brief second.

"You're demented!" Alec screeches.

Magnus takes a step back and places his hand on Alec's shoulder, "Alexander" he tries.

"No!" Alec pushes Magnus' hand off "I can't believe you're doing this! Maryse, he's fucking seven! Are you seriously forcing your shit down his throat?" His voice is the loudest Magnus has ever heard, and they're both sure that everyone who was ordered to leave under the name of being discrete can hear what he has to say. 

Max's still looking downwards.

"A fag?" Alec breathes out "a fag, Maryse? A boy his age shouldn't even know what that means!" Throwing his arms out in disbelief, he flexes his jaw.

Then he lifts his hands to either sides of his face as if he's about to slap himself, stopping to clench his fists. "Ugh!" He bellows in frustration.

Maryse sighs.

"Alec, the way I choose to raise your brother is none of—"

"Shut up!" Alec barks, taking a step towards her, "shut up or I swear" he points a finger in her face "I'll make you regret it." 

She closes her mouth, but keeps her stern demeanour on, straightening her back.

"Wasn't hurting me enough? Wasn't it enough that you practically clawed your beliefs into my brain?" Alec begins pacing again, an angry tear escaping his eye and slipping down his cheek as he speaks.

Magnus walks towards Max and takes his hand, "let's get you out of here" he says lowly, and Max more than eagerly takes his hand.

When they leave, Maryse turns to Alec once again. Alec's about to start yelling again.

But before he can get the first loud syllable out, she lifts her hand and slaps him hard across the face.

Twice.

Alec says nothing, his head whipping to the side as he closes his eyes.

"You were an abomination" she grits "the unclean thoughts were filling your mind with hormone-driven—"

"I wasn't an abomination" Alec whispers, prompting a mirthful and bitter laugh from his birth-giver. "Really now?" She looks at him amusedly, "you weren't?" 

"It wasn't a phase. It wasn't something that'll just pass" his voice considerably lowers in decibels, and he almost sounds like he's on the verge of tears.

Maryse's eyes widen.

"I'm a man, with emotions, emotions I have no control over, what's so wrong about loving the same sex? What's so—" he tries to alter her opinion, to show her his perspective, to breathe some sense into her.

"Don't throw your literate crap at me!" Maryse cuts in harshly. 

Alec's voice quavers "did you ever love me? Regardless my choice of love?" He whispers shakily, eyes hopeless as he looks at his mother with just a little softness in his gaze. 

"Yes" Maryse affirms sternly "before that conversation in the kitchen, before you decided to defy God's orders"

Alec tries not to cry, his legs about to give in beneath him, and he can't breathe. He can't bring himself to take another breath and his shoulders jerk with a choked sob.

"Alec, God is forgiving, he'll welcome you, he's our Lord, our saviour, redeem yourself before its too late and I'll love you again, we'll be a family" Maryse steps closer and lifts her hand to cup the side of his cheek.

Alec takes a step closer before she can lay a finger on him, and he leans down to become eye level with her, tears persistently running down his cheeks. 

"Don't throw your biblical crap at me" he whispers, menacingly low, the tips of his thumb and forefinger pressed together.

She blinks easily.

"I see" she thrums "then I guess we're done here" straightening her dress, she turns around and walked away.

.

"Don't believe anything she tells you" Magnus whispers to Max "everything she says is a lie, God loves you no matter what, understood, darling?"

Max nods and Magnus hands him the chain once again as he pulls back from the hug.

"Hide it well this time, yeah?"

Max nods and receives a kiss to his forehead in return.

"Remember" he says "don't take anything she says to heart, little guy" he stands up as he ruffles his hair.

Max nods and slips the necklace into his pocket, then he walks away and goes to his mother.

** ♡♡♡ **

Magnus eventually finds Alec in the restroom. 

Alec was standing, head bowed, his weight balanced on his hands as he leant forward against the sink, and when he sees Magnus, his lower lip trembles, chest heaving with unreleased cries, and he turns to him.

Magnus has no idea what to say, so he stands, watching the boy nearly fall apart in front of him. Then Alec parts his lips.

"Hug me" he whispered infirmly, weakly.

Magnus' heart breaks just a little bit more before he rushes for him and pulls him down into a hug, making Alec grip the back of his shirt, his other hand running through his hair as he let himself sob.

Magnus only holds him closer, "it's okay, darling" he whispers "it's okay" he runs his hand over his back in soothing circles, his throat tightening around his reassurance.

"I can't get her out of my head" Alec chokes out "I can't, I can't get those.. those lines out of my head"

Magnus closes his eyes, not saying anything. Because what can he say? There's nothing he can say or do because he's never been in his position.

Alec appreciates the silence.

He appreciates the fact Magnus doesn't say a word because he has no idea what he's going through.

He appreciates the closeness of Magnus' body. His warmth. His tender touch as he tightens his grip around him. 

_He just appreciates Magnus._

** __________________ **

"Ask him out" Isabelle says as she plops down in the seat beside Alec's.

"Fuck off" Alec sits up and pretends like he wasn't just ogling the fuck out of the director.

"Oh, don't give me that, you were practically eye screwing him just a second ago" Isabelle chuckles, smirking as she sends him a knowing side glance. She catches Alec's cheeks turning red.

Alec only rolls his eyes.

"Alec and Magnus sitting in the tree, K I S S I-"

"Izzy, stop!" He seethes through clenched teeth, turning to send a pointed glare at her. 

She holds both hands up in surrender "sorry" she says, though her tone holds anything but regret "not my business, but if you don't do it any time soon, I will"

Alec rolls his eyes for the zillionth time that day "you have Simon" he states blandly.

"So what?" She shrugs an indifferent shoulder.

"That means you can't have two!" Alec snaps a little too angrily.

"Oooooo" Isabelle smirks "someone's getting a little overprotective of their property" she teases, bumping her shoulder into his tauntingly.

"He's not my property!" Alec gasps "how degrading, Iz! People are souls that cannot be owned nor can they—"

"Okay shut your gob" Isabelle grunts "and ask him out" she adds hastily, earning a smack to her arm.

"We don't get along well" Alec says after a small chuckle, eyes back on his book.

"You don't? Wow.. Is kissing his head and crying in his arms a new archenemy trend I still don't know of?" She intones in question, scratch a thoughtful finger over her chin and squinting a pensive eye.

"I don't kiss his head! And how the heck did you know about the bathroom?" Alec's question leaves his lips in a hushed shout as he leans in.

"I walked in on you sleeping against his shoulder" Isabelle smiles "I could also see some drool" she points out unhelpfully.

Alec's eyes widen and his blush spreads over his cheekbones as he scoffs "I don't drool!" He proclaims in defence.

"Sure you don't" she sings under her breath, looking straight at Magnus, who's barking orders around.

Alec holds up a threatening finger and she backs up "okay okay, fine" she mutters "I'll just go and tell him to ask you out"

"You won't dare!" Alec challenges

"Watch me" Izzy smirks, turning on her heel and walking towards him.

Alec holds his face in his hands, face hot and heart throbbing. Fuck.

** ♡♡♡ **

"You should ask my brother out"

"Excuse me?" Magnus looks up from his work at Isabelle.

"You should ask my—"

"I heard what you said, darling" Magnus cuts in "I just don't see the reason you would ask me to do that"

"How about a double date?" Isabelle grins, lifting both shoulders coyly.

"Yes!" Simon gasps in interjection "that would be so cool! Maybe we can go and watch Star Wars and-"

"Shut it, Sheldon" Magnus snaps "watching Star Wars is the worst thing to do on a first date" Magnus pauses, lips pursed as he rubs his index finger against the pad of his thumb "Hmm.. actually, watching Star Wars is the worst thing to do. Period. No wonder you're so single"

Simon looks offended and he begins to protest.

"Come on" Isabelle stops him before he can speak as she looks at Magnus "it'll be fun, we'll go to a fancy restaurant and act French"

Magnus inhales sharply, seriously contemplating the idea, then he glances at Alec, who's nibbling at the side of thumb nervously.

"Is Alec okay with it?" He finally asks, looking back at the brunette.

"He's the one who offered!" She effuses obviously, as if asking people out is Alec's maitre.

"I find that hard to believe" Magnus presses his lips together, holding his index finger up as he squints incredulously "but okay" 

Isabelle goes to Alec next.

"So, my dearest brother" she murmurs as she sits down next to him "how about me, you, Simon and Magnus go out tonight?"

"Go away, Izzy" Alec mutters, bringing his phone to his ear.

"Hello, Alec Lightwood speaking"

"It'll be fun!" Isabelle calls out, and Alec presses his finger to his lips, shushing her. 

"You'll enjoy it! There's a new French restaurant just around the corner and we both know your absolute favourite food in the world is seafood!" She continues in an exaggeratedly loud voice, only to nag him about the date.

Alec brings the phone to his chest and glares at her. "Fine! Okay!— wait, is Magnus okay with that?" 

She grins, "he's the one who offered, Alec" she lies smoothly, and Alec finds himself moronically smiling before bringing the phone back to his ear.

** __________________ **

"COME ON WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!" Isabelle bangs on Alec's door.

Alec rolls his eyes and makes his way towards the door before throwing it open.

Izzy stiffens, looking him over, once, twice, then she looks him in the eyes.

"Ooooo" She smirks "who are you and what have you done with my brother?" She holds both his hands up to get a better look at him.

"I'm Alec Lightwood.. your brother" he furrows his brows in confusion, not understanding the joke.

"It's an expression shut up" Izzy sighs.

"A lame expression" Alec adds in.

"Come on, then" she links her arm in his, "let's get going"

When they get to the restaurant, Magnus and Simon are already standing outside it.

Simon looking as mesmerised as always as he eyes Isabelle.

Magnus leaning against a sign until he catches sight of Alec.

A smile plays on his lips and he slowly looks him over.

"Hello, handsome" he whistles, and Alec looks down at his clothes.

He's wearing black jeans and a woolen grey roll neck, followed by a black felt jacket.

And a beanie.

The beanie must've gotten to Magnus because he only stands, staring at Alec's head with a dumbfounded smile.

Alec clears his throat.

"Maybe it's better like this?" And he pulls the beanie off, his hair a tangled mess of holy fuck.

Magnus licks at his lips.

"I wasn't complaining" he tilts his head to the side "though I do love your hair when it's all messy"

Alec puts the beanie away in his bag and lowers his gaze.

"Shall we?" He eventually opens the door for the three, a shy smile still present on his lips.

"Ladies first, Simon" Isabelle places the back of her hand on his chest and pushes him back before strutting in.

Simon grins and moves to follow.

"The hottest next, Sherman" Magnus stops him and enters.

Alec shrugs and walks in after him, letting the door slam in Simon's face, who only grumbles and shuffles inside.

They sit down at a table for four, and Magnus leans into Alec's ear.

"Can you please—"

"I've got you, dearest" Alec smiles and turns to him, "I've got you" 

Magnus looks down, chewing on his lip, and trying his hardest to hold back from blushing.

"What do you guys want?" Isabelle asks with a clap of her hands.

"I heard the smoked salmon rolls are divine" Alec thrums, eyes skimming over the menu attentively.

Magnus scrunches his face up.

"Why want that if we have a burnt salmon right here" he points at Simon.

Simon rolls his eyes "first of all, my name's Simon, second of all, this isn't a burn! It's a tan—"

"A tan gone terribly wrong, my dear" Magnus gives a forged smile in Simon's direction.

"Third of all, am I just a punching back to the two of you?" He looks between Alec, who's still looking at the menu with a crooked smirk, and Magnus, who's lost interest and is eyeing his drink interestedly.

Isabelle laughs. 

"Okay, I'm going to share with Magnus" Alec declares. 

Isabelle and Simon nod and call the waiter over with a beckon of their fingers.

As the waiter approaches, Isabelle and Simon glance at their menus one last time before piling them over each other.

"What can I get you?" The man asks with his thick French accent.

"I'll have.." Isabelle begins "a prawn cocktail please"

The waiter writes it down.

"I'll have a shrimp scampi" Simon beams, rubbing his hands together.

"And you two gentlemen?" The waiter turns to Magnus and Alec with a polite smile.

"We'll have.." Alec starts, putting the menu on top of Isabelle's "Fettuccine Alfredo, smoked salmon rolls, and fish fingers, also, can I separately order tartar sauce with that?"

"Of course, sir"

"Then that too" Alec nods with a smile.

"Oh! and fries please" Magnus inputs with a smile.

"We don't have fries" the waiter apologetically states.

"But it's called French fries for a reason.." Magnus looks mildly disheartened as he looks down with a quite adorable frown.

Alec looks at him with a bemused expression, smiling widely to hold back from laughing.

"French fries aren't French" the waiter waves his hand "they're from Belgium" he continues.

"Then why is it called _French_ fries and not _Belgian_ fries?" He looks up with a furrow of his brows, his fingernails tapping against the table.

Alec smirks. 

"Good point, sir" the waiter clears his throat "we have potato wedges!"

Magnus hums in approval.

"Great!" He finally exclaims "then use the potatoes that will be used for my wedges and peel them before frying them!"

Alec shakes with a laugh and Isabelle hides her face in her hands

"He's unbelievable" Simon acclaims softly, looking at Magnus like he's some type of Greek God.

"Yes, sir"

"Merci beaucoup, mi carino!" Magnus piles all the menus and puts them aside.

The waiter walks away.

"Mi carino is Spanish, Magnus" Isabelle says disapprovingly, tutting her tongue with a shake of her head.

Alec bursts out laughing, unable to stop himself as he lowers his head.

Magnus smiles, feeling accomplished as he sits back against his chair. 

The double date was going greatly until Simon gets up to get drinks and Isabelle goes to the bathroom. 

"So.." Magnus begins "enjoying this so far?"

Alec smiles, turning to him as he swallows down the mouthful of food.

"Yes" he replies "I'm glad you suggested it"

Magnus arches a brow, and Alec stops, lips puckering before he takes his upper lip between his teeth.

He clears his throat.

"Uhm.. you didn't suggest this, did you?"

Magnus shakes his head lightly

"I was told you wanted to" he says, picking at his food with his fork.

Alec nods slowly "uh-huh"

Silence falls, the tension in the air almost breath restrictive. 

And Magnus gobbles up his food as fast as he can, then stands up.

"Alexander" he said courteously, "I'm afraid I have to go" 

Alec gives a small nod, eyes still on his food.

"I'll pay back later" and Magnus scurries out.

He feels like he's forced his company on Alec, and he felt like an utter burden just sitting with him.

So he calls his driver and goes home.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Are you seriously avoiding me?" Magnus cries, stomping his foot.

Alec ignores him, brushing past him to get himself a book.

"This is lame" Magnus mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Alec begins ambling around, humming a tune to himself.

It's 8:00 am the next day and no one will be at the company for another hour.

"Alec!" Magnus wails "this isn't fair!"

Alec holds back from smiling as he sits down on the couch.

Magnus crosses his arms over his chest, standing in front of him. 

"I want to talk to you about something!" He tries.

Alec says nothing, looking down at his book,

"Okay, have it your way" and Magnus walks off, prompting a victorious smirk from Alec, who shakes his head lightly.

Only 10 seconds pass before Magnus leans down from behind him and presses a kiss to his cheek.

Alec stills, allowing Magnus to feel as accomplished as ever.

"Do you see me now?" He whispers into Alec's ear.

Alec tilts his head to look at him. "You're quite a stubborn one, aren't you?" He asked rhetorically

Magnus grins, batting his eyelashes demurely.

"But that doesn't change the fact you ditched me" Alec turns back to his book.

Magnus rolls his eyes

"Look, I felt like I was forcing my company on you" he says "I just—"

"I'm an honest man" Alec chimes in "if I felt like I didn't want to be there, I'd simply get up and leave"

Magnus sits down next to him.

"I'm sorry"

"No problem" Alec murmurs, mostly to himself.

"I got you something"

Alec perks up at the statement and his eyes widen. "Me?"

"Is there anyone else in the room?" Magnus gestures around them.

Alec bites at his lip and Magnus hands him a book.

"It's a favourite" he says

Alec smiles and takes it out of his hand.

"The Picture of Dorian Gray" he hums "I've been meaning to read this for a long time. Never had the chance to, though"

"It's a beautiful story" Magnus replies "and I'd like you to review it, your perspective always intrigues me"

"Does it now?" Alec turns to him, giving a lopsided smile as he cocks a brow.

"Yep" Magnus pops the p.

Alec nods "I'll read it today and tell you what I think tomorrow or the day after, yeah?"

"Whenever you're ready, big guy" Magnus bumps their shoulders together and Alec breathes out something incomprehensible to Magnus.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Need a ride, dearest?" Alec offers with a smile as he slips his jacket on.

Magnus grumbles.

"My driver's off on a date with some woman he's been obsessing over for the past three hundred years" he says with a scowl.

Alec chuckles softly, "that wasn't my question" he sings under his breath, and Magnus looks up.

"Yes, i need a ride" he says with an eye roll "where's your driver?"

"I called him off duty. Come on" he jerks his head to the side and walks out of the room, Magnus following closely behind.

"Ah, warmth" Magnus moans, resting his head back against the seat as soon as they're in the car.

Alec turns the conditioner on, "here, get warmer" he reaches for Magnus' wrist and holds his hand out in front of the AC.

Magnus smiles and rubbed both hands to obtain as much warmth as he can get.

"So, where to?" Alec inquires as he turns to the older man.

"I promised Asmodeus I'll be at his session today" Magnus sits up.

"Asmodeus? Boyfriend?" Alec's brow arches and Magnus snorts at the absurdity of the question, but decides to tease Alec further.

"Jealous?"

"Why—" Alec furrowed his brows "why the hell would I be jealous?"

Magnus shrugs "it's okay you know, I'm a very good looking man, with a charming personality, that's without mentioning how much of a successful—"

"Snob who blows his own trumpet you are" Alec continues for him, starting up the car.

Magnus scoffs, mouth creating an O as he places his hand on his chest in fake shock.

"Drive" he orders, voice high and demanding.

Alec rolls his eyes but pulls out of the driveway, looking through the rear view mirror.

"I still don't know where I'm going, are you dragging me to a strip club? Where I'll be forced to watch your boyfriend dancing sensually because I'd rather not see such—"

"Asmodeus is not my boyfriend" Magnus laughs out, stopping Alec before he goes into details about Magnus' naked father.

"Crush? He seems to have you wrapped around his little finger" Alec teases, glancing at Magnus briefly.

Magnus smirks and looks down at his fiddling fingers.

"He's my father"

Alec falls silent.

"Oh" he says "Oh sorry" his face's red, and he has his lips pressed together to subdue his urge to laugh. 

"You can laugh" Magnus deadpans.

And Alec bursts out laughing.

"I'm sorry I just" he cuts himself off with another fit of giggles "I feel so bad"

"As is obvious" Magnus gestures in his general direction "your regret is almost tangible"

Alec straightens up with a cough to clear his throat.

"Right" he says, tone composed "so, to rehab we go"

When they get there, Alec stops the car and turned to Magnus.

"Thanks for the drive" Magnus winks and he moves to get out but stops "uh.."

Alec looks at him expectedly,

"He's a really big fan of your books" Magnus gnaws at the inside of his lip, "would you.. uhm.. would you like to join me?"

Alec smiles and glanced at the digital clock encrypted in his mirror.

"I'd like to meet him" he states "let's go then" he pulls the key out of the ignition and gets out of his car before Magnus does, shutting the door.

Magnus smiles and follows suit.

When Magnus and Alec walk into the room where Asmodeus is sitting down with his friends, Asmodeus bucks up, grinning widely as he stands up.

"You brought him!" He calls out as he walks towards the two.

Alec glances at Magnus "was I expected?"

Magnus smirks  
"I may've promised him to bring you"

When Asmodeus stands in front of the two, Magnus notices that Alec was the same height as him. 

"My son told me all about you" Asmodeus says, "you seem like an amazing lad"

Alec's brows rise "he spoke of me?"

"He told me you're just as wise as you are in your writing" Asmodeus begins "and that your eyes gleam when—"

"Okay that's enough" Magnus interrupts, "when does your session start?"

"In five"

Magnus and Alec sit down in the circle as they wait.

And Magnus can see Alec from the corner of his eye, watching him.

The tips of his ears turn hot as he lowers his gaze, biting on his lip.

A man walks in, his beard was long and white, suiting his hair.

He introduces himself as "Bob" and the host of the event.

"Oh, I'm Magnus Bane, Asmodeus' son, I'm only here to encourage him" Magnus smiles.

"And you?"

"Alec. A friend of Magnus' and Asmodeus" Alec flashes his teeth with a beam.

Bob nods friendlily then begins explaining how each one around the circle will be telling what he's been through, why they began drinking, and why they want to stop.

When it gets to Asmodeus, Magnus sends him an encouraging nod paired with a smile.

Asmodeus sits up

"I began drinking after my wife died" He says

Everyone looks at him intently, sensing a fragile subject.

"I was only 30 at the time" Asmodeus looks down, "I was reckless, and I didn't have much friends, so I resorted to drinking. I have to admit, I was a terrible man back then, I hurt a lot of people around me, I did so many mistakes. Unforgivable ones. I hurt my child more than I hurt myself.." he looks up to meet Magnus' eyes "I'm sorry, Magnus"

Magnus swallows, and Alec reaches for his hand, holding it tightly.

Magnus is a little taken aback, but derives comfort from the simple touch.

"He's the reason I want to give it up" Asmodeus looks at Bob and Magnus smiles, eyes tearing up.

Bob speaks to Asmodeus for a few minutes, asking him several questions before they move onto the next person.

They get to Alec and Alec shakes his head lightly "I'm here for Asmodeus" he states.

"Isn't there anything you want to share before we move onto the next person?" Bob asks invitingly.

Alec blinks.

"No" Alec says bluntly.

"Nothing at all?"

Alec bites the inside of his cheek "no"

They finish the circle 15 minutes later, and that's when Alec raised his hand, clearing his throat.

"Yes, son?" Bob questions.

"Is the information shared within this group confidential?"

Magnus turns to look at Alec.

"Of course, child" Bob sits back down "changed your tune? Anything you want to share?" His eyes gleam hopefully.

Alec opens his mouth, then pressed his lips together and licks at them.

"Yes" he eventually finds his voice to say. 

Magnus' heart clenches.

"Go ahead, son"

Alec sits up.

"When.. so, uh.. when I was fifteen, I.. went through this thing where.. my parents started hating me" Alec begins, then he sighs, chest heaving "and they.. kind of, let's say, they grounded me. Permanently."

Magnus' expression softens as he looked at him, jaw flexing.

"Go on, son"

"So" Alec swallows "I was really young.. I, didn't know what I was doing" Alec's voice fades in the middle of the last word as he runs at his jugular sorely "I resorted to dealing"

Magnus turns away, looking at his father, who's staring at Alec, eyes wide and glazed with tearful pride.

"I couldn't stop it, I didn't have anyone to guide me, to tell me what's wrong and what's right" Alec continues, "it's just that time in your life where you wanna go wild"

Magnus aches to hold him.

"Eventually, at the age of nineteen, I managed to stop, and it took me a lot and a lot of effort" Alec looks around "So what I'm trying to say here is that.. things can be hard, but intoxicating yourself will only make it harder"

Bob smiles, and Asmodeus' the one to start the slow clap.

Alec's cheeks go red as he looked down, toes curling in his shoes.

** ♡♡♡ **

"You never told me about.. that" Magnus states.

Alec hums "I never told anyone about that" he answers, fingers drumming against the steering wheel.

And Magnus turns to look at him, bug eyed.

"Don't look at me like that" although Alec isn't looking at Magnus, he knows that Magnus is eyeing him in complete disbelief.

Stop the car" Magnus demands. 

"It's raining, I want to get home quickly" Alec grunts "besides, I'm not your chauffeur, you don't get to order me about, dearest" Alec smirks slightly, turning to steal a glance at the older man before he looks back at the street ahead.

"Stop the car, please" Magnus adds the last word pleadingly, and Alec gives an eye roll, but pulls the car to a halt.

"What is it, dear—"

Magnus jumps him before he gets the chance to finish off the endearment, and hugs him, burrowing his face in his neck.

"Why weren't you wearing your seat belt?!" Alec shouts, arms held out in shock "Magnus! The road is slippery! If I had gone into an accident you could've gotten hurt!" 

"You're worried about my well-being?" Magnus grins against Alec's neck.

"No, I just don't want the guilt eating at me for the rest of my life" Alec answers sarcastically "of course I'm worried about your well-being, idiot" 

Magnus smiles wider and Alec lets go of the steering wheel to envelope the older man in his arms, closing his eyes and enjoying his closeness.

"Have I ever mentioned to you how strong you are?" Magnus thrums, eyes closed.

"No" Alec replies "sing my praises, please"

Magnus chuckles as he pulls back.

"You're the strongest, most amazing, kind-hearted, talented, and utterly beautiful man I have ever met" his tone's teasing, as if he's mocking him, but deep inside, they both know he's saying exactly what's on his mind.

Alec lets his lashes hide his eyes as he looks down. And comparing that to the first time Magnus saw him, Magnus has no idea whether Alec was replaced by a more adorable one over night and they just don't know.

"Thank you" Alec thanks shyly, his cheekbones coloured in embarrassment.

Magnus ruffles his hair "you're welcome, darling" he sits back in his seat "now get me home, I'm cold"

"Put your seatbelt on" Alec orders, then starts the car again.

** __________________ **

"Come on! Come on!" Alec mutters under his breath.

Yes, the time may be something past 2 am, but Isabelle's always up at this time, and if she wasn't, she's a very light sleeper.

But she isn't answering her phone.

Alec opens his contact list desperately.

Iz♡

He's been trying.

Jace Wayland

He can't call Jace to talk about his problems.

Lydia Branwell

No.

Magnus Bane

Alec puckers his lips, biting the inside of his cheek in a pensive fashion.

Maryse Lightwood

Alec laughs to himself. Talk to a snake about its venom.

Max Lightwood

He's seven. The kid shouldn't even have a phone.

Redhead

Ew.

Robert Lightwood

When they lived in the same house they wouldn't interact.

Alec swallows, then scrolls back up to Magnus' contact name.

He presses the call button, and not a ring later, he regrets it and decides against it.

He's about to hang up but Magnus has already picked up.

"Hello?" His voice's raspy, and Alec can't think of anything that sounded more.. Attractive.

"Oh, wow" Alec utters in panic "your name is just above my mother's, sorry"

Magnus chuckles softly, easily, from the other side of the line.

"Darling" he begins "I don't think your idea of having a good night sleep involves talking to your mother"

Alec's cheeks heat up and he bites his lip.

"I wasn't sleeping, you know" Magnus murmurs assuringly, "I was doing yoga"

Alec tries to rip the idea of Magnus doing yoga out of his head. In vain.

"Right" he says "sorry, go back to your—"

Magnus cuts him off with an annoyed tut of his tongue.

"Alexander" he sighs out "you do know I enjoy talking to you, don't you?"

Alec grins to himself.

"Yeah, yeah I know" he exhales "It's just.. Izzy's asleep, and I didn't know who to call"

Magnus smiles at the idea of him being his second option after his sister.

"Well, talk" he says simply.

Alec clears. his throat

_What's he supposed to say? I have this crush on a colleague of mine and I want it to go away but his intellect and intelligence puts bad thoughts in my head and I just want to hold him and kiss him and play with his hair, which is gorgeous by the way?_

Yeah, no. That'd be a huge giveaway.

"I um.." Alec breathes out.

Magnus says nothing, listening closely to Alec.

"I.. I just feel alone"

Magnus' heart begins thumping faster and he sits up in bed.

He wasn't actually doing yoga.

Who even does yoga at 2am?

"Why?" He coos, really not ready for an emotional talk.

"I just.." Alec swallows "I've been alone for a while, but I just.. I'm just feeling the loneliness now, and you told me that my house is cold and distant and I only realised what you meant today"

Magnus closes his eyes at how broken Alec sounds.

"Alexander" he starts "do you want me to come over?"

Alec stops moving.

"You'd do that?" He asks after an extended period of silence.

"Yes" Magnus enthuses "of course I would!"

Alec smiles warmly, eyes closing.

"It's okay" he says "but that's really kind of you, dearest"

Alec calling Magnus dearest is the most beautiful thing Magnus has ever heard. No exaggeration.

"Anything for you, beautiful" Magnus thrums softly.

Alec sinks back under the sheets. Magnus does the same.

"Hey Alec?" 

"Hm?"

"Knock knock"

Alec breathes out a laugh.

"Who's there?" He answers.

"Daisy" Magnus smirks.

"Daisy who?" Alec arches a confused brow. That's new.

"Daisy me rollin', day hatin'.." Magnus buries his face in his pillows, muffling his laughter.

Alec lets out a small chuckle, "you dork!" 

Magnus' chest goes warm as he hears Alec's fit of laughs.

"Hey Mags?"

Both of them fall silent at the nickname and Alec presses his lips together, pursing them as he shuts his eyes, instantly regretting the nickname.

"Yes, darling?" Magnus' breathless voice comes, sending shivers all the way down Alec's spine.

"What do you call a scientific giant?" Alec whispers.

Magnus laughs at the question with a shake of his head.

"I have no idea"

Lazily, Alec lets out a low "a giantist"

Magnus bursts out laughing and Alec grins at the sound, "that was good, huh?" 

"No!" Magnus shouts, but convulses with more laughs. 

"You have a nice laugh" Alec compliments.

Magnus forces himself into silence and closes his eyes.

"I always laugh around you" he says, nibbling on his lower lip.

"You do" Alec licks his lips "but I never pay attention because you also look quite.. beautiful when you're laughing" he muses, as if it was a normal thing to say.

Magnus rolls onto his back, smiling up at the ceiling.

"I.." he starts, "Alexander, I'm really glad you're in my life"

Alec closes his eyes, letting a single tear slip down the side of his face.

"Not as glad as I am, dearest" he says, voice breathy and low. "Not as glad as I am"

Magnus' throat burns with unsaid words.

And they remain silent until they both fall asleep, not caring about the phone bill.

** ♡♡♡ **

"Hello" Alec walks towards Magnus, "this, my darling, is beautiful" he holds up the book.

Magnus grins.

"Like it?"

"Love it. Adore it. Absolutely perfect. The idea. The concept of immortality. Everything. Gods, this is.." he trails off "So different. Immortality is usually described as fun. Full of knowledge and experience and wisdom but this.. this.."

Magnus sits back, arms crossed.

"What's the moral?" He queries challengingly.

Alec looks up.

"Too much thirst for knowledge and pleasure can lead to eternal pain. The pain of losing the people you care about, the people you need. The burden of being alone"

Magnus licks his lips, giving an impressed nod.

"Can I keep this?" Alec asks, and Magnus' brows rise.

"It's called a present for a reason, darling" he winks playfully.

Alec grins and puts the book down.

"Where are Jace and Lydia?" He looks around.

"They're getting dressed for the dance scene" gives gave a wave of his hand.

** ♡♡♡ **

"No, no, Lyd" Alec sighs, "when you walk into the room, the first thing you do is search for Jace, and fyi, when you dance with someone you supposedly love; you don't look at the walls!"

Lydia cries out an "I can't!"

"I just can't look at him! His face makes me want to laugh!" She wails, covering her face with both hands.

Alec finds himself shaking with a soft, amused laugh and Jace scoffs.

"Excuse you" he lifts a sassy hand, making a circle motion over his face "this is a money maker"

Lydia rolls her eyes

"Chill, guys" Magnus joins Alec, "Lydia, just look at his face, blur everything else out"

"His face?" Lydia groans "I can't! She's glaring at me" she points at Clary, who instantly looks away, humming as she looks at the walls.

Magnus rolls his eyes in exasperation. "You two are hopeless." Alec beats him to it.

"Look, mate" Lydia begins, stepping closer and poking Alec's chest.

Alec's eyes widen as she jabs him.

"You've been bossing us about for the past 4 months, you act like all of this is easy!"

Jace nods in agreement, crossing his arms.

"It is easy!" Magnus shouts.

"Then be my guest!" Lydia steps back and holds her arms out, "show us how it's done"

"Fine!" Magnus storms towards the door, "Alec you're Vincent!" He yells demandingly. 

Alec jumps at how loud and insistent Magnus is being.

"Okay" he draws his brows together at how weak he sounds, then looks up as Magnus slams the door behind him.

The house they're in was beautiful, more like a mansion, of course. It was supposed to be a masked ball.

Magnus re-enters a second later.

Isabelle gives Simon a wave of her hand and he starts the song.

"Wicked Game" by Ursine Vulpine played, and although Magnus isn't expecting it, he keeps the act up.

He stands, metres away from Alec. And Alec accidentally makes eye contact, his breath hitching in his throat.

His lips part. His heart begins beating faster, and Magnus swallows, taking steps towards him.

They circle each other, eyes searing into one another's, and Alec loses all desire to blink.

Alec holds his hand out, and Magnus takes it, making Alec pull him to his body, his hand moving to his waist.

Magnus' jaw flexes, shivers running up his spine as he places his free hand on Alec's shoulder, eyes never leaving his hazels.

The eye contact makes it all more intense. It's an act. A challenge. Nothing more.

Alec knows his book off by heart, so he has to act the scene out before he loses himself in the fantasy.

He breaks eye contact and slowly leans into Magnus' ear.

"Lovely seeing you here" he whispers.

Magnus closes his eyes at the sound of his voice and his fingers curl into the cloth of Alec's shirt, gripping tightly.

Alec's lips move to Magnus' jaw, lips ghosting over the sharpness of it.

Magnus shivers, breath catching in his throat.

He plays a good Amara.

Silent, mysterious.. different.

They dance, holding each other, Magnus trying to break eye contact, but Alec not letting him, tilting his face up every time the older man tries to look down.

And at the end of the dance, Alec pulls Magnus to him, making Magnus twirl and land against him, hand hanging loosely against his chest, lips parted as he stares up at Alec.

Alec smiles kindly, his hand moving to Magnus' face.

He cups his jaw, and Magnus involuntarily leans into his touch.

Then Alec leans down and presses the softest kiss to his forehead. And he lets go.

"Oh" Lydia and Jace says in sync.

Alec smirks, but no one misses the way he swallows as he tries to regain his breath.

"Get to work then, I need a drink. That required strenuous effort" and with that, he leaves.

Magnus swallows and looks around until his eyes land on a copy of Alec's book.

He snatches it and flips through the pages until he gets to the dance scene. Only three pages before the ending.

_Vincent pulled Amara to him, soundlessly informing her that she was his. Only his._

_Amara stared up at him, lips agape, as if she had just found out something. Discovered something that was wrong. So terribly wrong, and Vincent smirked,_

_He knew,  
He knew that she was wrapped around his finger, he knew that she was all his, and he knew that she knew._

_That's what made him proud of himself. Proud that he had finally broken the walls engulfing her heart, sucking the life out of her veins like a leach._

_She was finally his._

_He let go, his smirk somehow broadening, a mischievous gleam in his eyes._

_Then he left the ballroom._

_He left her to mourn her morals, to mourn her religion._

_To mourn her beliefs._

There was no forehead kiss. There was no cupping the jaw. There was no touching.

And yet, Alec did those things to him, without a smirk, without a mischievous gleam in his beautiful hazels.

It was just.. _Him_.

** __________________ **

"I have an announcement to make"

It's a cold, rainy January night and everyone's celebrating the last day of filming in a pub.

Magnus and Alec are sitting side by side, so when Alec utters that sentence and stands up, Magnus has to crane his neck to look at him as he makes his announcement.

"I give up my name as a director of Blue Skies, Grey Grass" Alec says, as if it was the most natural thing to say.

Eyes dart towards him and he smiles.

"I received an offer a month ago from the HarperCollins publication company and although I hesitated due to the filming, I see that now the filming's over and I'm free" he downs his drink as everyone cheers for him, flooding him with their congratulations.

Magnus leans into Alec's ear.

"Congratulations" he whispers softly, letting his lips linger at the shell for only a second before he pulls back.

Alec smiles.

"Thank you, dearest" he turns to Magnus, eyes gleaming with excitement "I also wanted to bid you farewell" 

Magnus feels his heart begin to pick up as he looks between Alec's eyes, "Farewell?" He cocks his head to the side.

"HarperCollins is a British company, Magnus" Alec murmurs, eyes trailing back to the people around the table "I'm moving to London next week"

Magnus' breath catches in his throat, his sight going blurry for a second, and he wishes it's the booze. But it's not.

"Lon-London?" He breathes out.

"London" Alec gives a crooked smile "where I will start over and continue my writing career"

Magnus stands up hastily, pushing his chair back in the process and walks away, straight out the bar. He needs air.

Alec looks confused, and he stands up, following after the older man immediately.

"Magnus!" He calls out after him.

Magnus turns to him, rain spilling down his face, ruining his makeup. And Alec has to let that view sink in, because no matter how much he's trying to deny Magnus' beauty, that look alone made him wonder if God actually does exist. 

"What's wrong?" Alec asks "aren't you happy for me?"

"Why are you moving?" Magnus shouts over the sound of rain "I thought we– I thought we were friends!"

Alec stills, then he lets out a sigh. 

"Magnus" he says "Magnus, we are friends, and I've never been so happy in my life but—"

"But our friendship isn't enough reason for you to stay" Magnus continues for him, nodding in understanding.

"Magnus this is my future! The HarperCollins enterprise is- it's big! And- and-"

Magnus shakes his head.

"You're not doing this for HarperCollins' offer, Alexander, don't lie to me! Only two months ago you were telling me about Simon & Schuster offering to publish your books! And before that there was Hachette Livre! Why didn't you go for them?" Magnus is full on yelling now, and Alec starts to doubt it's raindrops falling down his cheeks.

He stays silent.

"There's another reason you want to leave Hollywood, to leave _me._ If you don't want to tell me, don't. But don't lie to me either" Magnus' voice becomes weak and his back muscles slack in defeat as Alec stands there silently, lips agape as he stares at him.

"Have a good time in England, Alexander" Magnus wishes him godspeed "I've heard they serve the best fish" he turns to leave.

"I want you" Alec calls out from behind, voice wavering.

Magnus doesn't know whether the tremble in his voice was because of the cold, or because of the words he's uttering.

He squeezes his eyes shut and presses his lips together. Then he turned to face him.

"And the best way to have me is to run off to England?" He asks, eyes softening.

Alec licks at his lips, looking away, something he does only when he was nervous.

"I can't have you" he says, words barely comprehensible over the sound of the heavy downpour.

Magnus clenches his jaw and takes a step closer.

"I can't look at you, I can't face you, knowing that I'll always want you but I'll never have you" Alec's throat bobs as he speaks, his heart on the verge of exploding.

All the feelings he kept bottled up since that day Magnus met Max are finally surfacing.

"But you can have me" Magnus breathes out, "if you—"

"No, no I can't" Alec shakes his head, as if convincing himself that he wasn't worthy of Magnus "I'll be giving in to temptation, Magnus"

Magnus starts to speak again.

"You put thoughts in my head" Alec says "I think about you a lot and I shouldn't"

"Alexander"

"But I can't stop the need, the want, the itch to hold you and to– to touch you—" Alec shakes his head rapidly "flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body" he starts blabbering, words leaving his lips so fast that Magnus has to wait a couple of moments to let what he's saying sink in as Alec repeats the words over and over.

The thought of Alec wanting him makes Magnus' pulse quicken, it makes him content, comfortable with his own thoughts about the younger man.

But Alec reciting verses every time he wants to do something for himself makes Magnus want to hold him, hold him and make all the biblical oppressed lines leave his mind. To dispel every fear the younger boy possessed.

"Alec look at me" Magnus is now standing in front of him, but Alec's staring straight ahead, eyes lustrous with repressed tears.

"Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind, it is abomination" he breathes out, his whole body shivering, his lips blue, and his eyelashes wet. 

Magnus hates that line with a burning passion.

"Alec—"

"Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind, it is abomination" Alec blinks his tears away, one of them swiftly sliding down his cheek.

Magnus fights the urge to stomp his foot childishly.

"Alec!"

"Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind, it is abomination"

That was the last straw. All it takes for Magnus to wrap his arms around Alec's neck, hands clasping at his nape, and to pull him down, whispering one last Alexander against his lips before pressing his own to them.

Alec's muffled verse trails off. And he lets Magnus kiss him.

Then he lets himself kiss back, as if he finally has a reason to go against his own beliefs. As if he's been waiting for Magnus to make the first move.

He holds Magnus' shirt that was stuck to his waist and pulls him closer, sighing softly as he shuts his eyes. He feels alive. For once, he feels alive and free. 

Magnus holds onto him, running his fingers up the back of his hair, eyes closed, body held up against his. And.. And the gods knew that Magnus would do anything to feel that warmth every day for the rest of his life. The warmth of Alec's arms, the comfort it offered.

He can feel, through the cold droplets of rain, the hotness of Alec's tears.

And he brings one of his hands to his face to stroke the tears away, his lips coaxing Alec's apart, tongues interlacing, soft mewls escaping Alec's sore throat.

Alec's fists loosen on Magnus' shirt, and he slowly snakes his arms around his waist, pulling away with a small whimper.

Then they're just breathing into each other's mouths, heavily, drastically, shakily.

And Magnus forces his eyes open.

"You can have me" he whispers, "you can have me for as long as you want"

Alec swallows, refusing to open his eyes.

"You helped me with my dyslexia, you held me when I needed it" Magnus exhales.

"You were the one holding me" Alec corrects

"I needed it just as much as you did" Magnus runs his thumb over Alec's cheekbone. "Trust me"

Alec tilts his head up, arms still wrapped around Magnus tightly as he rests his chin on the shorter man's head "do you need it now?" He asks.

Magnus nods, "more than ever"

Alec keeps holding him.

"You're a strong man, Magnus" he whispers.

Magnus stays silent.

"And you are such an inspiration" Alec bows his head to kiss Magnus', "you've helped me so much, dearest"

Magnus buries his face in his chest

"As you have helped me"

Alec smiles and pulls back slowly, using his fingers to tilt Magnus' head up, cupping his chin between his forefinger and thumb.

"Yet it would be hypocrisy for me to have you after the message I have delivered through my books" he speaks, smiling slightly, sadly.

Magnus lowers his gaze.

"But I want you to know" Alec cups his face "that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Magnus" he presses his lips together, his thumb running over his lips. 

Magnus looks up at him, eyes pooling with tears as he shakes his head.

"You will always be the best thing that has ever happened to me" and this time, Alec's the one to lean down and take him into a kiss. A soft, careful one. A kiss that steals all oxygen from Magnus' lungs. 

It only lasts a couple of seconds before he pulls away.

Magnus wants more.  
He wants to feel Alec's tender touch.  
He wants _him. All of him._

"Take care of yourself for me, dearest" Alec soothes, leaning in to press a kiss to his forehead.

And Magnus only nods, taking Alec into one last hug before they parted.

** __________________ **

"One frappuccino, super cream, please" Magnus smiles, "name's Magnus" he spells his name out then leans forward "try getting my name wrong, and I'll make sure this entire café is shut down"

The woman's eyes widen before she writes down Magnus' name on the cup in case she forgets it.

Magnus waits for a few moments, leaning against the till with a small smile.

"His books are usually hot and all but this one literally had me in tears!" A girl screeched "God, I love my smol bean so much I want to protect him"

Magnus strains his ear to listen to the teenagers' talk.

"I watched Blue Skies, Grey Grass and it's my favourite movie ever! Ugh! Jace Wayland is so hot! Those eyes! Those muscles. Jesus, phew! And can we _please_ talk about that dance scene?"

Magnus smirks slightly. That dance scene.

"I hope they adapt this book into a movie as well, Alec is the best author out there, he's so real and so.."

Magnus swallowed

New book?

"Here you go!" The barista enthuses and hands him the cup, "by the way Mr. Bane, your works are amazing"

"Thank you dear" he grins as he pulls his money out "and here's 2 dollar fifty, plus a generous tip because you got my name right!" He sends her a fleeting wink, and she shyly takes the money.

He turns to the suddenly silent group of girls, and all their eyes zero on him.

"You're Magnus!" One of them exclaims, eyes wide as she points an accusing finger at him.

"Thats me" Magnus smiles, walking towards them "may I?" He strokes his fingertips over the book.

"Yes! Be my guest! Can you sign it too?!" The girl, apparently the owner of the book, asks.

Magnus grins and pulls a pen out, taking the lid off with his teeth before he scribbles down a quick message and puts his splendid autograph beneath the slanted writing.

He's about to ask what the book was called, but when he catches sight of the font, his heart melts in his chest.

_The First Time He Kissed a Boy_

Swallowing, Magnus turns it over and begins reading the blurb, also written in the font they have exercised to help Magnus read.

_Dyslexie._

The blurb's short, but meaningful.

_Growing up in a Christian family was hard. Falling in love with a man was even harder._

Magnus slips into the empty spot next to the group of girls, who are suddenly feeling much more giddy, and he looks up.

"What is this?" He asks

"What did Alec say it was?" The girl furrows her perfectly shaped eyebrows "hold on, I have the interview"

She pulls her phone out and places it in front of Magnus.

Magnus holds it, and Gods, his hands shake as he catches sight of his Alexander.

"This is different" Alec says, "it's more of a memoir"

"A memoir?" The interviewer asks, his accent's British, thick, maybe Scottish.

"Yes" Alec nods courteously "from my own experience"

"So do you admit to liking men as well as women?"

Alec chuckles softly, making Magnus' heart throb.

"No" he states "I only like men"

Smiling slightly, Magnus finds himself unconsciously running his thumb over the screen.

"The man in the book, he once told me not to be ashamed of my emotions" Alec looks at the camera "and I want him to know that I'm not anymore"

Magnus smiles "that's it, Alexander" he whispers under his breath

"I wrote this book based on an experience of mine" Alec says, "I grew up in an oppressed environment, where homosexuality was considered a demonic force"

"Overcoming such an experience and sharing it with the world is quite courageous, Alec"

"Mr. Lightwood" Alec corrects after clearing his throat.

Magnus chuckles to himself, eyes teary.

"Right" the interviewer laughs, "and is there a reason behind the font, Mr. Lightwood?" He asks

"The person this is for.." Alec begins "prefers this font"

Magnus' sight goes blurry and he shuts the phone, sliding it towards the girl before taking the book in hand once again.

He reads through it.

He reads everything.

Magnus isn't named Magnus, only referred to as he and him, and the book's entirely in Alec's point of view.

Describing what it felt like when Magnus held him for the first time, to be kissed by him for the first time, to play in the park like kids again, to dance, to be cared for, to be wanted and to be looked at the way he looked at him.

Everything's in Alec's point of view.

And Magnus loves how in sync he felt with the author.

No mention of Magnus' past or dyslexia are mentioned in the book either.

However, Alec's struggles with homophobia are evident, alongside his parents and Max.

Magnus reads for hours, the girls watching him, intrigued, not caring about the tears spilling onto the book as he reads, or the way he stops every few minutes to look around and wipe the pained expression off his face, lips pursed and eyes drooping with sadness.

And when he reaches the last line, his heart breaks.

 _I walked away from him, but never had the chance to tell him that I was - I am - unreservedly in love with him._

Magnus closes the book and looks up.

All 4 girls look back at him, one of them crying nearly as much as he is.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

Magnus says nothing as he stands up, taking his cup.

"Thank you for letting me read this" he says, then he quietly leaves the café.

As he walks down the street, he caches sight of the limo stopping on the other side of the road, people crowding around it, and when Alec slips out, taking his sunglasses off in the process, Magnus finds himself rolling his eyes fondly.

Alec's smiling, happy, content, _proud._

_He looks beautiful._

As Alec finally descries Magnus, time stops, and they stare at each other.

_So close, yet so far._

Magnus smiles slightly, and Alec's wide grin returns full force as he holds the book up.

Magnus' smile finally reaches his eyes as he mouths an "I'm proud of you" at him.

Alec's gaze casts downwards, eyes crinkling with a smile. Magnus pulls his phone out.

He types down a quick text and sends it.

Then he walks away.

Alec's phone buzzes in his hand and he lifts it up.

He opens the text, smile widening as he feels his cheeks heat up, heart pounding against his ribcage.

**from: Magnus Bane  
I love you, too.**


	2. Chapter 2

"May I have your attention please" the voice-over begins, and Magnus lets out a dramatic sigh as he rolls his eyes, "the train approaching platform 3 is the 7:30 pm service to New York City, I repeat, the train approaching platform 3 is the 7:30 pm service to New York City, have a safe trip"

Magnus hums in content as he hauls his too-flamboyant bag after him, making his way towards the platform with a small smile as he looks at his ticket.

Stepping onto the train, he shows his ticket to the ticket inspector, then ambles his way to his seat.

He pulls a book out and removes the bookmark as he starts from the middle, a small smile caressing his lips.

He has a comic convention in Los Angeles. The first one he's accepted since the filming of Blue Skies, Grey Grass.

He wasn't very fond of comic cons, especially when it requires travelling, but after the persistence from the grey-haired man — whose name remains unknown to Magnus — Magnus finally decided to agree, only to shut him up and hold it against him if he demands another con.

Magnus realises that through his thoughts, he's skipped two pages and not understood a thing, so he shuts the book and rests his head back, eyes shut. 

"Champagne?" 

"Yes, please" Magnus dramatically breathes out, then hears the soft fizz and pour of the drink. "Merci, mi amor" he smiles blindly as he slowly eases his eyes open to locate his drink. He reaches for it and holds the stem of the glass between his index and middle fingers. A small, inexplicable smile makes its presence on his lips as he brings the rim of the glass to his lips. 

He takes a small sip and puts the drink down as he begins to bob his leg to the beat of the soft melody playing throughout the train, and for a moment, he feels at ease. He lets the music soothe his worries, and slowly sinks back against his seat. For a moment, everything seemed perfect.

"Dyslexie?"

For a moment, everything _was_ perfect. The soft voice warmed Magnus to the core, and he couldn't think of any sound, any type of music or alcoholic drink that made him feel so serene, so calm and at ease.

Magnus, for a couple of seconds, doesn't open his eyes, trying to let the voice sink in and diminish his every iota of nervousness, of pain. When it does, he slowly opens his eyes, and rests them on Alec's face. "Dyslexie" he breathes out.

Alec smiles, that lopsided smile that holds so much ego, but so much care and adoration. 

Magnus blinks easily, returning the smile. "Hello, Alexander"

Wetting his lips, Alec places his hand on the backrest of the seat opposite of Magnus', leaning against it. "My assigned seat is here, may I sit down?" He queries, that gentle smile not leaving his lips.

Magnus sits up, "be my guest" he replies, gesturing for the seat.

His heart begins to pursue a faster rhythm, and his chest rises and falls in a beseeching manner, lungs begging for oxygen.

"Going to the New York comic con?" Alec airily questions as he snaps his fingers for a steward. 

"What can I get you, sir?"

Alec smiles slightly, eyes still on Magnus, who's also too captivated in those hazels he's missed so much.

"I'll have a whiskey, dear" Alec says, the trace of a smile still evident on those lips that Magnus once had the luxury of tasting. 

God, he missed him so much.

"Make that two" Magnus cuts in before the boy could leave.

The catering boy walks away, leaving the two, tension heavy between them. "Yes" Magnus finally says, "I'm going for the comic con, yourself?"

The drinks come in a few seconds, and Magnus inwardly thanks the catering boy for his great and quick service as he composes himself, trying to even his racing heart.

Alec nods at the boy, sending him away, then takes a sip of his drink, eyes not leaving Magnus, and smile still evident through the fine glass of his drink. 

"As am I" he murmurs, lifting the drink and shaking it in light circular movements, "hm, great drinks" he furrows his brows at the drink with the smallest of his smiles before letting his eyes cast back to Magnus, then he looks towards both drinks set in front of Magnus. "Someone once told me that heavier drinks are for heavier burdens" he muses, wetting his lips as he put his drink down, then he leans forward, forearms crossed on the table. 

Magnus looks at his drink, then up at Alec, cheeks tinting red. "I.." He takes a deep breath, "I'm just.. A little tired I guess" Magnus' voice trembles by the end, and he bows his head as he feels Alec's eyes on him.

Alec reaches over and ruffles Magnus' hair. "You should get some rest" he says, and Magnus bursts into a laugh when he hears the light English lilt to one of his words.

"You got a light British accent" he smirks, toying with the stem of his champagne glass. 

Alec laughs loudly this time, throwing his head back and sending Magnus' heart into a frenzy. "I can actually imitate the British accent quite well" he wiggles his brows at Magnus, and Magnus finds himself smiling fondly as he watches Alec's face soften with his small fit of chuckles, "their slang is hilarious, I'll teach you some while we're at the con if you'd like, I mean—" Alec cuts himself off as he catches sight of the way Magnus was eyeing him, "what's wrong? Is there anything on my face?" He lifts his hand to his cheek and lightly strokes his fingertips along his cheekbone.

Magnus shakes his head. "No. No" he says, "no, there isn't" 

Alec smiles again, then looks at the book set on the table between them. "What's this?" He reaches for it, "ah, the Catcher in the Rye!" He exclaims, "we read this together" 

Magnus hates how lightheartedly Alec is taking everything. "I read it every year" he says, "it reminds me of you" he looks up at Alec again, eyes full of equal levels of pain and wistful desire to just reach up and cup Alec's cheek. 

"You're so precious, dearest" Alec shakes his head affectionately, and Magnus feels a cry start to bubble up in his throat at the pet name. 

Oh how he missed him.

"Your girlfriend or boyfriend is a very—"

Magnus laughs this time, eyes gleaming with humorous mockery as he eyes Alec. "Oh, Alexander, I never took you for _that_ type of man" he points out.

"What type of man?" Alec arches a sassy brow, resting his chin in the palm of his hand as he watches Magnus closely.

"Oh, you know" Magnus shrugs, "the _I'll compliment you through your significant other to find out whether you have one or not_ type of man" he winks, and Alec hums, glancing away for a split second. 

"So.. You're single?" He looks back at Magnus, and Magnus smirks slyly. 

"Now, now, I never said that" he intones teasingly, and Alec rolls his eyes. "What about you, Mr. Lightwood? I heard you've had multiple partners in the past… how long has it been? 6, 7 years?" Magnus hates the sinking feeling he gets in his stomach when he realises how long it's been. 

"6 years, 4 months and 24 days" Alec blurts, "not that I've been counting" he shrugs a nonchalant shoulder, then he looks down for the first time since he got on the train, his fingers pinching at the corner of Magnus' book, "not that I've been counting at all" he murmurs under his breath.

Magnus holds back his tears as he watches Alec fidget. 

Alec then puts on a smile and looks back up. "All rumours" he says, "I haven't had time to explore my sexuality" he nods his head once, "and you? I heard about a… Camille was it?" He gives a lopsided smirk, "I never knew the rich, unjust Belcourts did it for you" 

Magnus rolls his eyes. "It was just a dalliance" he exhales, "a test" 

Alec tilts his head to the side curiously. "A test? A test for what?" 

Magnus shuts his eyes briefly. "To see if I'm ready" he replies quietly, then downs his drinks, one after the other. "I'm going to rest a little, Alexander" he toes his shoes off as Alec eyes him, and when Magnus lays down, Alec reaches over and closes the curtains. 

"Rest well, dearest" he soothes, "we have two days to catch up" he smiles at Magnus warmly, then sits back. 

Magnus closes his eyes, and doesn't dare open them to see if Alec noticed the tear that finally escaped. 

…

"I hate New York" Magnus mutters "I don't want to go there" 

Alec simpers and sits back as he puts his phone down, "and why is that, dearest?" 

Magnus scowls. "It's raining over there" he says "and you know how I am with the rain ruining my hair and drenching my clothes" he looks at Alec, brows furrowing adorably.

Alec hums. 

"You didn't seem to have a problem when we kissed under the rain" he says idly, then stills and looks away, eyes shutting contritely.

Magnus stares. 

"What?" 

"Nothing" Alec breathes out, "nothing, I— nothing" 

Magnus looks out the window, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Hey, Alexander?" He turns to Alec after a couple of seconds, "I heard you stopped writing" 

This comes as no surprise to Alec, but he still feels his cheeks heat up and his words hitch up in his throat. "Y-Yeah"

Magnus nods once and bites down on his lip. "Why?" He ventures, carefully then licks at his lips when he sees the pain cross Alec's expression.

"I just.. I don't know" Alec breathes out, "I don't know" he shakes his head before he looks up at Magnus with a small smile. 

"You stopped after the first time he kissed a boy" Magnus blinks, only now realising that Alec's novel about him was the last Alec wrote.

Alec grins. "You read that?" 

Magnus laughs softly. "Of course I read it, Alexander. It's not every day a worldwide known author writes about me" rolling his eyes, Magnus reaches for his drink. 

Alec's hand rests on his. "Magnus" he says, "stop drinking" 

Magnus looks at their hands for a few moments. "I'm nervous" he eventually breathes out.

"Don't be, dearest" Alec takes his hand off slowly, and Magnus lets his own fall onto his lap.

He feels a painful pang and slowly looks down. "I can't just stop it. I can't stop feeling all those— you're so indifferent!" 

Alec's brows rise in surprise and a small smile tugs at his lips. "I'm indifferent? And why is that?" He chuckles softly.

Magnus looks out the window for a few moments. "I just missed—"

He's cut off when two teenagers stop at their stall and stare at the two with a mixture of happiness and admiration.

"Hello, Mr. Lightwood" 

Magnus can't help but feel a little special that he's able to call Alec by not only his name, but his given name. 

_Alexander._

"Hello, little ones" Alec smiles up at the two, hands intertwined and gaze soft. 

Magnus watches him. 

"Mr. Bane" one of the girls looks at Magnus, and he nods his head in greeting. 

"Can we just say that everything you two do is so inspiring and beautiful and— can we take a picture with you please?" The other asks, cheeks flushing. 

Magnus sits up. "Of course" he says, and Alec nods in affirmation.

He takes one of their phones and lifts it up with his tremendously long arm. "Here we go" he breathes out, "3, 2, 1.." And he snaps the photo before handing the phone back to the two. "Thank you for your support" he says kindly.

The girls bombard the two with a few thank yous before turning around and walking away. 

Magnus looks back at Alec, silence hanging heavily between them.

Alec keeps his eyes on him, the smallest of smiles grazing his lips. 

When the catering boy comes to take their orders, Alec's eyes don't leave Magnus. 

And Magnus hates how much he adores the way the younger man looks at him.

"I'll have a pancake, with Nutella please" Alec says, watching for Magnus' reaction. 

Magnus closes his eyes, "I'll have the same" he whispers. 

Then he opens his eyes and looks straight at Alec. "Are you doing this on purpose?" He shakily enquires, "do you find any of this funny? You're hurting me, Alec. You're reminding me of things I've spent years trying to forget and it's not the least bit entertaining. Stop it. Just stop!" 

Alec stills, his lips parted slightly and his brows furrowed in mild confusion. 

Magnus stands up. "Excuse me" he says, then leaves for the restrooms.

**•••**

Magnus managed to avoid any conversation with Alec throughout their trip to Brooklyn. And even when they were there, at the comic con, he sat as far away as possible from the younger man.

Alec would watch him from afar, and he'd feel his heart jump whenever Magnus put a smile on his face for a selfie with a fan.

"Mr. Lightwood" 

Alec looks up, then smiles at the girl who's standing in front of him. 

"Hello, beautiful" he says softly, taking the poster out of her hands and uncapping his own pen.

"I wanted to thank you" the girl speaks, in a completely farouche manner, "you inspired me to come out to my parents and—" her voice wavers, tears pooling in her eyes, and Alec immediately looks around before settling his eyes back on her.

"Sweetheart? Are you ok?" He asks, feeling his cheeks go hot.

He feels so uncomfortable. He doesn't know how to deal with this type of situation.

The girl sniffles and Alec abruptly stands before circling his table and taking her into his arms.

He rests his chin on her head, running his hands up her arms. "I'm so proud of you" he whispers, smiling gleefully, "god, I'm so proud of you" 

Then he pulls back to look down at the girl. "Hey now" he murmurs comfortingly, "no more crying" he presses a quick peck to her forehead before leaning back against his table.

The girl's cries die down, and Alec tilts his head to the side, cocking a brow. "You ok?" He asks, smirking slightly.

She laughs, and Alec laughs.

Magnus only smiles from his table, watching the interaction with adoration.

**•••**

"Hey" 

Magnus looks up, then smiles.

"Hey, what shall I sign for you, dear?" He asks teasingly as he looks Alec over.

Alec rolls his eyes, shaking his head affectionately. "I was wondering if.. Uh.."

Magnus tilts a brow.

"I was wondering if you'd like to.. y'know, celebrate.. with me" Alec bites his lower lip shyly, and Magnus bites the insides of his cheeks to hold back from smiling.

"With you?" He neutralises his tone, and Alec's hand automatically rests on his neck and begins rubbing there anxiously.

"Yeah, with me" he says, "if you want. You're a free man and if you feel the slightest bit uncomfortable then I—"

Magnus laughs softly. "Of course I'd like to celebrate with you, although I don't know what we're celebrating" 

Alec grins widely. "I don't know either, but I missed you, so we should probably catch up" 

Magnus' heart makes a mini contraction at the _I miss you,_ but he stands up and pulls his jacket on, trying to act like it didn't affect him one bit.

"Lead the way, Mr. Lightwood" 

Alec laughs. "This way, Mr. Bane"

.

"A club? Really? Do you think this is the right place to catch up?" Magnus yells out over the music, and Alec turns to him with a smirk.

Magnus' breath hitches in his throat when Alec's fingers run down Magnus' wrist and intertwine their fingers. 

His eyes widen, and he looks up at Alec in confusion, blinking rapidly. Alec smiles, running his thumb up and down Magnus'. "I don't want to lose you in the crowd" he leans down to whisper in Magnus' ear, and Magnus closes his eyes at the closeness. 

"I don't want you to lose me either" he turns to look at Alec, whose smile hasn't faltered ever since they were in the car, "in the crowd I mean" he amends, tightening his grip on Alec's hand.

It made him feel so.. desired. Alec's holding his hand in public. Smiling at him. In a club. On a (maybe) date he suggested. 

It dawns on Magnus, and he finds himself leaning lightly against Alec's bicep, eyes closed. 

Alec doesn't say a thing. Just lets himself enjoy the moment until someone pushes them to make way.

They walk to the bar in the calmer corner of the club, and Alec orders two beers. "So, tell me" he begins, "how are you?" he turns to look at Magnus, and Magnus finds himself at loss for words. 

Alec laughs, shaking his head lightly before lifting his hand to stroke a strand of stray hair away from Magnus' face and tuck it behind his ear. "Loosen up, dearest" 

Magnus nods, then looks up at Alec with a small smile. "I'm okay" he breathes out, barely in range of audibility, "and you, darling?" 

Alec's more than happy with the pet name, so he sits up, wiggling in his seat and making Magnus arch a brow. 

"Sorry, I drank coffee before the con and I've been jumpy ever since" Alec apologises shyly, and Magnus' expression softens.

"I know how you are with coffee" he chuckles, "what did you say? An unhealthy and superfluous way to get rid of.. You never finished off that sentence, to get rid of what?" 

Alec stares, eyes wide. "How.. How did you remember that?" 

Magnus taps his index finger against his temple, "strong memory" he smirks, arrogantly. 

Alec laughs. "Arrogance really isn't your forte, dearest" he turns his stool to face Magnus just as their drinks are put in front of them. 

Magnus lifts his drink, and Alec follows suit. "To us" Alec says, watching the redness of Magnus' cheeks spread to his neck and ears. 

"To us" Magnus replies quietly, then downs the drink in one gulp. 

"Arrogance was definitely your forte back then" Magnus says after putting his glass down, " _it's Mr. Lightwood, we're not on a first name basis_ " he furrows his brows, changing his voice to one he thought Alec would recognise as his own. 

"Says you!" Alec gasps, "remember the _bravo, Mr. Lightwood for not believing in love, because no one would've ever fallen in love with someone remotely as cruel and inhumane as you… so good for you, you saved yourself the pain of being alone?_ " 

Magnus flinches. "I actually said that, didn't I?" He swallows forcibly, and Alec nods, his smile subsiding. 

"And you lied" 

Magnus' eyes widen. "Uh, w-what?" _please don't bring up the text, please don't bring up the text, please don't—_

"I didn't save myself the pain of being alone" Alec looks at his drink, his jaw flexing under the strobe lights of the club. 

Magnus reaches up, and he cups Alec's jaw without second thought, running his thumb over his cheekbone. "Hey" he says softly, "you'll find someone. Any man would want you in their life, look at you" 

Alec smiles. 

"Wanna dance?" Magnus smirks, trying to cheer Alec up. 

Alec's eyes widen and he begins to shake his head as Magnus takes ahold of both his hands and starts taking steps back, pulling him to the dance floor.

"Come on" Magnus drawls, "let's see if you can beat the dance king" he wiggles his brows cockily, and Alec chuckles.

"As I said earlier, Magnus, arrogance isn't your forte" he leans down to say into Magnus' ear as he places his hands on his waist.

Magnus loses any iota of sense and just drops his forehead onto Alec's chest, eyes shutting.

That's all it took. Alec placed his hand on his waist and Magnus was long gone. How did Alec, after all these years, still manage to do this to him?

Despite the upbeat music blaring from the speakers and the pumping and grinding bodies surrounding the twain of them, Alec finds himself wrapping his arms around Magnus, pulling his body closer to his own, and burying his face in his hair as he sways slowly. 

Magnus clutches Alec's shirt, fighting back tears as he buries his face further into his chest, as if that would somehow dispel his tears and every fucking speck of pain prickling his insides, tugging at his heart, needling at his insecurities. 

"Alexander" Magnus chokes up, and Alec slowly pulls away to look down at the other.

"Alexander, I need to get going" Magnus breathes out, "I'm tired" 

Alec smiles, nodding in understanding.

.

Only three sentences were shared throughout the ride home. 

"Where are you staying, Alexander?"

"I booked a room at a hotel, you?"

"My apartment is in Northern Brooklyn" 

And when they reach Magnus' apartment, Alec hands him an umbrella. "Here you go, dearest" he offers, voice unnaturally soothing.

Magnus looks at the umbrella for a couple of seconds, then back up at Alec. 

"I enjoy the rain" he says, "no need for that" 

Alec nods, putting the umbrella down. "Till next time then, Mr. Bane" 

"Till next time, Mr. Lightwood" Magnus nods, then leans over and presses a quick kiss to Alec's cheek.

Alec has no chance to react, because as soon as his eyes open, recovering from the tenderness of Magnus' soft lips, Magnus is out of the car.

 

Magnus stands beneath the rain, eyes shut and head tilted back as he lets himself breathe. "God. What have you done to me?" He exhales.

He buries his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and starts his way towards the front door of his house.

 

"Magnus!" 

 

Magnus shuts his eyes at the voice, unsure, wavering, holding too many painful memories.

He turns around, facing the author with a smile. "Yes, darling?" He asks easily, tilting his head to the side.

Alec swallows. "I— you said.. In the train, that you— you didn't tell me if you have a lover"

Magnus chuckles softly, balancing himself on the heel of his boot, "I didn't?" 

Alec shakes his head once. "You didn't" 

Magnus nods slowly, letting out a hum. "Why would you care?" He ventures, and Alec steps closer.

"You also asked me why I stopped writing" his voice holds so much emotion, so much _eagerness. Want to prove himself._

Magnus nods once.

"It's because I lost my muse" Alec, in fear of Magnus' judgemental gaze, looks away, blinking back his tears, "I lost him 6 years, 4 months and 27 days ago" he looks back at Magnus desperately, hoping his confession is enough to make up for those years and months and days and even hours they've spent apart.

Magnus' startled eyes meet his, and the smallest of smiles play on his lips as he blinks.

"Where did you say you're staying?" Magnus asks, descending the porch steps.

Alec blinks. "…New York Marriott, down at the Brooklyn Bridge" he manages to let out, bewildered by the suddenness of the question. 

Magnus takes a deep breath. "It's been such a long time, Alexander" he's taking slow steps towards the younger man, and Alec's breathing eases the closer Magnus gets to him. "I've missed you so much" 

Alec nods, unable to take the distance anymore, so he takes a few strides until he's standing right in front of the director, eyes searing into his wet ones.

"I missed you too, dearest" he lifts his hands and frames Magnus' face, "you're still the best thing that has ever happened to me" 

Magnus feels a cry spume in his throat, and he lets it out, making Alec smile. 

Magnus hates Alec's smile. He hates the way he had a smile for every fucking situation. He also hates how close Alec is now, he hates the feeling of Alec's breath against his freezing, shivering lips, he hates how the feeling alone sends warming shivers down his spine, and he hates that he's the one to lean up and capture Alec's lips.

He hates and loves everything about the man holding him to his body, kissing him with everything he has. 

He hates the vulnerability of the situation, how much he wants to touch Alec, to feel him, to undo him. 

He loved him. He loves him. And it's in this moment that both of them realise their feelings weren't just a phase, that everything they felt was still buried so deep inside, waiting to be fuelled, to be reawakened and brought back to life. 

Alec smiles into their kiss, nipping lightly at Magnus' lower lip before laughing and resting their foreheads together. "What have you done to me, dearest?" 

Magnus smiles, eyes shut. "Given you bad habits" he murmurs, "I smell coffee on you" 

Alec laughs loudly, then slowly pulls back and rests his lips against Magnus' forehead. 

"Come on, Alexander" Magnus breathes out, "let's get you inside, I'm sure I can find a place for you to sleep" 

Alec lets Magnus lead him to his home.

.

"I can't believe this" Magnus rests his head on Alec's chest.

"Can't believe what, dear—"

"Alexander" Magnus groans, "don't call me that" 

"Why, dearest?" Alec plants a kiss on top of Magnus' head, "does it make you blush? Show me your blush" 

"It doesn't make me blush" Magnus rolls his eyes, then tilts his head and rests a kiss on Alec's chest. Alec pulls him closer with a smile. 

"Magnus?" 

"Yes?" Magnus quietly replies, listening to the light pattering of the rain against the window, so synchronous with the beating of Alec's thumping heart.

"I love you" 

Magnus shuts his eyes, and Alec feels the small wet drop land on his chest, breaking his heart in the process. 

"I love you too" Magnus breathes out, "I never stopped" 

Alec wishes he can pull Magnus closer, but he can't, there's not even an inch left between their naked bodies and he hates it.

"And I'm so proud of you" Magnus looks up and presses a light kiss to Alec's jaw, "so, so, so proud" 

Alec grins at the ceiling as Magnus presses light kisses to his jaw, and moves his lips further up till their mouths are joined. 

And Alec holds him close, this time, refusing to ever let go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated. Here's the happy ending. Dedicated to my favourite people ever. [Joana](https://mobile.twitter.com/boothalec) and [Diana](https://mobile.twitter.com/sebdaddario)
> 
> I love you two so much. Thank you for the inspiration.

"Still going through a– what do they call it? A _writer's block?_ " Magnus sets two mugs of coffee in front of Alec before sitting down next to him. 

All anxiety flows out of Alec at the mere closeness of his lover and the domestic aroma of the coffee Magnus has made him, then he turns to look at the older man. "I'll figure something out, dearest" he assures with the gentlest of smiles.

Magnus leans over and presses a kiss to Alec's temple, relishing in the soft, relieved sigh that escapes his lips. "I know you will, Alexander" he whispers, "you're a smart man." 

Alec shuts his eyes briefly as he sips at his coffee. 

"Come here" setting his mug down, he pats his lap, and Magnus is more than compliant, instantly settling himself on Alec's lap. 

"You know what I think?" He hums, "I think you should talk about my beauty, a nice, 500k worded novel about the golden in my eyes, the planes of my masculine abs and the beauty my smile brings into your life" he wraps an arm around Alec's neck, looking at him with a proud smirk. 

Alec laughs softly, lifting a hand to cup Magnus' face and run his thumb across his cheekbone. "I've spoilt you, haven't I?" He murmurs, making Magnus scoff. 

"I've always been spoilt, never had the time to share my depravation with anyone" he rests his head on Alec's shoulder, "but yes, you're marvellous for my self-image." 

Alec laughs out loud, pulling Magnus closer to him. "I love you" 

Magnus will never ever get used to those three words leaving Alec's lips, and in all honesty, he never wants to either. 

"I love you too" he whispers, "so much, Alexander" 

Alec cards his fingers through Magnus' hair gently, making him close his eyes and lean into the velvety touch. "Interview tomorrow" Alec whispers, and Magnus nods, nestling against the author. "Honestly, it's been 7 years, shouldn't they move on from that stupid movie?" 

Magnus laughs, shaking his head lightly, "they're just hoping for a happy ending" he finishes his sentence with a yawn.

He hasn't had much time to rest throughout the day, so it comes as no surprise that he's already on the verge of dozing off in Alec's lap. 

"Let's get you to bed, dearest" Alec whispers, cradling Magnus in his arms. 

Magnus wraps his arms around his neck, grinning. "Yes, take me to bed" he thrums, and Alec stands, adjusting Magnus in his arms.

"You're shameless, Magnus. And if you think you're light, you're not, you're a muscle pillow" he mumbles, walking towards the bedroom, "seriously, I feel like my bones will be all aching and tense it I ever sleep on your chest."

Magnus gasps as Alec sets him down on the bed. 

"You've slept on my chest on multiple occasions! I'm sure all times climbed your best sleep ranks easily!" He scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Alec laughs, climbing into bed and unbuttoning Magnus' shirt to help him out of it.

"Why do I love you?" 

"I don't know, Alexander" Magnus sighs, "overlooking my gorgeous looks, my charming personality, and my talent? Why do you love me?" 

Alec leans forward and presses a kiss to Magnus' cheek, "maybe it's your modesty, I love how you hide your lights under a bushel, my humble—" 

"Are you being sarcastic?" Magnus arches a brow, and Alec towers over him in return, pressing him into the mattress and leaning down to press his lips against his forehead. 

"Yes, you're the most egoistic man I have ever met, and trust me when I say that I've met many, my dear" he whispers against Magnus' ear, making the older one grumble out a profanity.

"Well, let me tell you that my egoism is in its right place" he boops Alec on the nose, and Alec laughs. It was so easy to get laughs out of him these days. Not that Magnus' complaining. 

"Yes" Alec nods, "yes, you have every right to flaunt your beauty" he presses a kiss to Magnus' nose, "to flourish your expertise" he kisses his cheek, "to brandish your perfection" he whispers, then rolls over and pulls Magnus to his chest tightly, lips brushing his forehead. 

Magnus is at loss for words, his cheeks red and his eyes clenched shut. "I don't know what I've done to deserve you in my life, Alexander" he starts, "but whatever it is, I wish I had the date so I can celebrate it, because you will always be my greatest achievement." 

Alec's heart begins racing in his chest, and Magnus can hear it, eyes closed and a smile on his face at how simple it was to graze Alec's emotions. 

"When did you accept the offer to be my director?" Alec breathes out. 

"Hm. Twelfth of November" Magnus lifts his head to look at Alec. "Why?" 

"There" Alec runs the back of his fingers down Magnus' cheek, "we have the date." 

Magnus' expression softens, and he leans up to press a kiss to Alec's lips, soft but deep. 

Magnus tastes of coffee and strawberries, a combination that has so effortlessly sunk into the depths of Alec's heart and took residence there.

Magnus slowly lifts a hand, hesitantly letting it hover near Alec's face, a silent request to touch him. 

Alec's heart flutters against his ribcage as he places his hand over Magnus', making the older one smile, thumb running across Alec's cheekbone as their lips part. 

They pull back, and Alec hates the sudden emptiness he feels when Magnus moves away from him. 

"Relax, beautiful, I'm just getting the lights" Magnus leans over and turns the bedside lamp off, then sidles up to Alec, shoulders brushing. 

Only ten seconds pass before Magnus speaks up. 

"Alexander?" 

"Hm?" 

Magnus extends one arm, and Alec instantly moves closer and rests his head on his chest, eyes shutting as he exhales in relief. 

"Goodnight, dearest."

** ______________ **

"No! No, I got here first, get out!" Magnus tries slamming the door shut, but Alec beats him to it and squeezes his shoe between the door and the frame.

"Magnus! We're going to be late! I just want to brush my teeth!" Alec snaps, and a second later, Magnus holds out the toothbrush through the gap of the door, a blob of toothpaste running over its bristles. 

Alec's heart skips a beat, but he only looks up at Magnus with narrowed eyes. Magnus gives a teasing, toothy smirk. 

"I want to shave too" Alec stubbornly says, refusing to take the toothbrush from his hand.

"Your stubble is beautiful, Alexander, gives you the sophisticated, cosmopolitan look, c'est le dernier cri!" Magnus looks Alec over with a smile. 

Alec deadpans. 

Magnus rolls his eyes. "Shave that beard and I'm finding myself a new man" he opens the door wider, letting Alec in. 

Alec chuckles. "I don't really want to shave, I just want to watch you do your thing" he takes the toothbrush and saunters in, taking his seat on the edge of the bathtub.

Magnus smiles to himself, then opens his makeup box.

** ♡♡♡ **

"And Mr. Bane, have you been working on anything prominent these days?" 

Magnus hums, squinting a thoughtful. "A little here and there, I'm honestly a very very efficient man, so getting work done for—"

Alec nudges him. "Your humble side is showing" he sings under his breath. 

Magnus rolls his eyes and turns to Alec. "You told me to flourish my expertise!" 

The interviewer bemusedly looks between the two.

Alec sighs. "Yes, but don't stroke your ego whenever you get the chance, people love down to earth—"

Clearing his throat, the interviewer glances at the crowd, who seem to be just as amused as he is. 

"Look at them, bickering like a married couple already." 

At that, the crowd cheers and Alec looks down, smirking at his lap with an evident shade of red high on his cheekbones. 

Magnus looks at him adoringly, wanting to just reach for his hand and hold it, but unable to because Alec probably wasn't ready for that step. 

"And Mr. Lightwood, how's writing going? Anything new coming our way?" 

Alec lifts his gaze, smirking slightly. "Maybe." 

At that, Magnus turns to look at Alec, eyes widening tenuously. 

"Really?" He asks.

Alec's smirk proudly spreads, "really, really."

Magnus wants to reprimand the younger man for holding back on him, but decides that it's a conversation that should be held at home. 

Their home.

A smile tugs at Magnus' lips, eyes settled on Alec, hearing his voice but not listening to his words. He was enthralled in Alec's beauty, those habits he had. 

Waving his hands expressively, tutting his tongue and rolling his eyes whenever he gets complimented, glancing at his boyfriend whenever he was asked a question along the lines of “who inspires you?”

"You still there, dearest?" Alec waves his hand in front of Magnus' face, a fond and toothy grin on his own. 

Magnus shyly glances away. "Sorry, zoned out for a moment. What was your question?" He lifts his drink to his lips to sip at the water in order to assuage his embarrassment from being caught staring at Alec with heart eyes.

He knows Alec's going to watch the interview and most likely screen cap that one stare and set it as his background just to tease the older man. 

"I asked whether you're considering settling down." 

Magnus spits his water out, prompting a laugh from the crowd and Alec too. 

The interviewer moves out of the way of the water just in time, a small oops leaving his lips. 

Alec pats Magnus' back gently then rubs slow circles to soothe him. "You ok?"

Nodding, almost too desperately, Magnus waves a dismissive hand, unable to speak up.

"I think—" he sits up and inhales deeply, "I think that's something that's strictly between Alec and me. And maybe…" he smiles slightly to lighten up the mood, "if we're kind enough, we'll consider considering telling you."

Alec laughs out loud, throwing his head back. 

He loves Magnus more than even his own vocabulary can express.

** ♡♡♡ **

"You know what my favourite thing about interviews is?" Alec asks, rolling the window up to keep the cold air away. 

"What?" Magnus queries, eyes on his phone but a smile still on his lips. 

"Seeing you in a tux" Alec reaches for Magnus' phone and tugs it out of his hand, "stop twittering."

"It's tweeting" Magnus amends, "and I'm on Instagram."

"And I miss my boyfriend" Alec answers, "spare me a second, dearest?"

Magnus' heart swells in his chest, and he closes his eyes, resting his head against Alec's shoulder. "I'd spare you my entire life."

Alec tilts his head to press a kiss wherever his lips reach, then he looks at Magnus' phone, smiling at the background. 

It's a picture of them. Them from years and years ago when Max forced them into uncoordinated outfits. 

It was a spontaneous photo. Alec was still straddling the line between his prejudiced self, and his open vulnerability. He was looking at Magnus with so much intensity, like he wanted to kill him, but so softly, with so much love. 

Magnus was smiling, eye squinted in attempted coolness. 

Running his thumb over the photo, Alec feels his nose sting as a tear pricks at his eyelids. 

Magnus lets out a soft snore, and instead of crying, Alec laughs, holding Magnus impossibly closer to his body. "I love you."

** ______________ **

"It's Sunday" Alec mumbles, wrapping his fingers around Magnus' and pulling him back into bed, "no work, where are you going?" 

Magnus leans down and kisses Alec's forehead. "I'm just going to make some coffee, want some?" 

"Do I have a choice?" Alec groans, "you've rendered me addicted." 

With a light chuckle, Magnus presses a kiss to Alec's hand then lets go of it and walks away to get breakfast done. 

Alec leaves bed a minute later, brushes his teeth and ties Magnus' robe around his waist.

"Alexander, sweetheart? There's dry food in the cabinet, can you fill Chairman's pot?" 

Alec's arms wrap around him from behind. "You look beautiful in my clothes" he whispers, "although they're tight at the biceps." 

"If you hadn't refused to come to the gym with me, we'd be the same size" Magnus replies teasingly, sinking back against Alec's warmth. 

Alec pauses for a moment, then, "do you want me to hit the gym?" 

"No" Magnus answers, "that's your decision, your body is beyond beautiful, my darling." 

Alec smiles, nestling his chin against Magnus' neck. 

"You're blushing" Magnus comments, smirking to himself as he starts to whisk the eggs.

"Hm" Alec buries his face in Magnus' neck, "I love it when you keep track of the direction my blood takes." 

Magnus laughs out loud. "Where do you get these silly phrases from?" He turns around in Alec's arms, and is rewarded with the beautiful view of tousled hair, tired hazel eyes and perfectly reddened cheeks. 

"They come spontaneously" Alec shrugs, "now, give me a good morning kiss, dearest." 

Magnus leans up and rests his lips against Alec's, gentle and unrushed. 

Alec exhales in relief against Magnus' lips, then kisses back with just as little depth. 

The phone ringing pulls them apart and Alec groans in complaint. "Can't we enjoy one morning together?" He grunts, treading out the kitchen idly before he reaches the phone and lifts it to his ear. "What?" He snaps, hearing and delighting in the laugh that comes from the kitchen seconds later.

"Behave, Alexander" Magnus sings, and Alec smiles to himself up until he gets the reply from the other end of the line. 

"Alec." 

With closed eyes and a stuttered breath, Alec leans his lower back against the back of the couch. "What do you want?" 

"Alec, I said beh—" Magnus' playful voice comes as he slinks into the room, halting once he sees Alec's expression morph into one pained more than angry.

"Christmas is just around the corner" the stern feminine voice echoes in Alec's ear, "and maybe, for once in fifteen years you and your-- friend, would consider attending family dinner." 

Magnus stands by Alec, rubbing his back gently and helping him through the stressful phone conversation. 

"Why?" Alec finally asks, repulsed by the weak tremble in his voice, "why now?" 

Maryse doesn't say anything to that. 

"Inform us if you decide to attend" she says, then hangs up. 

Alec keeps the phone against his ear, hand clenched around it as he blinks away his tears. 

"Alexander" Magnus whispers, resting his hand on Alec's, making it fall flaccid beneath his touch, and the next moment, he's in Magnus' arms. 

"Sweetheart, what is it?" Magnus breathes out under his breath, not really awaiting an answer as he holds the younger man closer to his body. "I've got you, it's alright."

** ♡♡♡ **

"Is throwing myself in your arms the only way I can drag you back to bed for cuddles?" Alec looks up at Magnus with a small smirk.

Magnus laughs, pressing a kiss to Alec's forehead. "You're smug" he says, "tell me, what happened?" 

Alec sighs. "It was Maryse. She was asking whether my _friend_ and I would like to attend their sacred, annual family Christmas dinner."

Magnus gasps in faux affront. "I don't know what should offend me more" he begins, "the fact she called me your friend or the idea of me believing in God." 

Alec bursts into a fit of chuckles. "You're ridiculous." 

"I learn from the best" Magnus retorts, drawing an amused smirk from Alec. 

"So, are you considering it?" Magnus asks after seconds of silence, "going I mean?" 

Alec shrugs. "No."

"You are" Magnus smiles, "you know, giving them another chance doesn't make you weak, it makes you… forgiving." 

Alec adjusts their position, looking up the older man with a bemused smile. "Go on." 

"And merciful, and soft-hearted" Magnus looks up at him, "and indulgent, righteous…"

Alec hovers over him, looking down. "Your vocabulary can be such a turn on, dearest."

"It makes you magnanimous, munificent, ungrudging, great-hearted, tol—" Alec leans down and presses his mouth to Magnus', eyes drooping shut as he swallows the pleasured gasp that escapes between their lips. 

Once he pulls back, he looks down at Magnus with heavy breaths, "go on." 

"I don't think I can" Magnus wraps his arms around Alec's waist and flips them over, pressing their lips together firmly.

** ♡♡♡ **

"You didn't tell me what the new novel's about" Magnus' fingertips languidly trace Alec's spine as he looks up at the ceiling, "a sequel?" 

"Magnus" Alec utters, "there won't be a sequel to Blue Skies, Grey Grass" he continues sharply, and Magnus gives a small hmph sound from his throat.

"Why?" He asks, "don't you believe in happily ever after? Do you think that everyone is bound to be sad, miserable and—"

"Shh" Alec unseeingly lifts his hand and clamps his palm over Magnus' mouth, who bites down on it to continue his incoherent rambles. 

Alec laughs and pulls his hand away, urging Magnus to complain on. 

Finally, he lifts his head and looks at his lover, which makes the older man's words die on his lips. 

The way Alec looks at him always leaves him speechless.

"Are you done, dearest?" 

Magnus grouses under his breath.

"I do believe in happiness" Alec states, "I believe in happiness, I believe in love, and I believe in liberality. All because of you."

Magnus smiles to himself, leaning down to press his lips against Alec's in a soft kiss. 

"But," Alec lifts a finger drily, "I wrote that novel years before I met you, so I won't continue it now, hm?" 

Magnus opens his mouth to protest.

"Shh" Alec cuts in, "I can tell you that Amara and Vincent probably found their happily ever after, but I won't write about it."

"You're just shutting me up" Magnus mutters, and Alec chuckles, nodding before tucking his head into Magnus' neck. 

"I want to go to that family dinner" he says quietly, "will you please join me, my friend?" 

Magnus laughs heartily, letting the vibrations of his throat tickle at Alec's lips. "It would be an honour, bestie." 

Alec grins against Magnus' neck and nips lightly. "Love you." 

"You know the answer to that" Magnus skims his fingers through Alec's hair.

"I want to hear it." 

"I love you most."

** ______________ **

"Alexander, darling" Magnus whispers, placing his hands on Alec's shoulders and digging his thumbs in, "you're so tense." 

Alec's eyes fly open and he groans, tilting his head back slightly. "Why are you up at this time, dear?" 

"I'm here to ask you the same thing" Magnus leans down to kiss the top of Alec's head, "writing?"

"Researching" Alec yawns, earning a smirk. 

"Oh? I always knew the Chairman was phenomenal, but I didn't know that sitting here, scrutinising his fur fell under the research category," Magnus pauses to gasp, "are you planning on writing about the beauty of the cat but not his owner?" 

Alec laughs, shaking his head lightly. "I dozed off for a little, honey." 

Magnus nods, wrapping his arms around Alec's neck from behind. "Come to bed, it's cold." 

"I will" Alec rested his hand on Magnus' forearm, "I'm thinking." 

"About me?" Magnus teases.

"About you" Alec answers, "about us, about how far I've gotten because of you, about my family, about everything." 

Magnus tilts his head and kisses Alec's temple. "Well, don't overthink things, you have plenty of time to do that tomorrow, I don't want you concerning your pretty head with _what will happens._ "

Alec closes his eyes. "Let's go to bed."

** ♡♡♡ **

"Magnus" 

"What is it?" Magnus turns over with a whisper. 

"How did Mrs. Bane pass away?" Alec asks flatly, oblivious to the way Magnus tensed up. 

"She.. Uh, she…" Magnus swallows, "she.. wasn't okay." 

Alec blinks, turning to look at his boyfriend. 

"She… took her own life" Magnus speaks on, and Alec can clearly see his jaw flex under the warm light of their bedside lamp.

He sidles up closer to Magnus and pulls him quietly to himself. "Such a strong man" he whispers into Magnus' hair, "so strong." 

Magnus closes his eyes, finally finding the comfort he needs in the arms of his lover. "That's what makes us a match" he answers, offhandedly, but Alec still hears the light waver in the words. 

They fall silent, only for a couple of minutes. Magnus has his eyes shut, letting Alec's rhythmic heartbeat soothe him. Alec's looking up at the ceiling, fingers gently and almost absentmindedly massaging Magnus' scalp. "Do you want to talk about it?" He finally ventures, biting down on his lip and hoping he hasn't evoked any bad memories. 

Magnus hears Alec's heartbeat start to quicken, pounding against his ribcage nervously, so he wraps his leg around Alec's, a position they both seek comfort in. "I never knew the true reason behind it" Magnus says, trying to act casual about it but failing disastrously, "my father blames himself, his alcoholism and lack of care towards her."

Alec doesn't say a thing, only listens. 

"I was bullied in high school" Magnus keeps his eyes shut, throat bobbing as he steels himself to go on, "a lot. For various reasons. Not having a mother, having a mother who was mentally troubled, being bisexual, not being able to read," he pauses, inhaling like the oxygen would give him strength to affix the last reason reason to the ones before, "being Asian."

Alec huffs out a humourless laugh. "Fuckers" he mutters under his breath, eliciting a small chuckle from the older man. 

"Back then, racism was much worse. People got beaten in schools, on streets, it got to the point where they were scared to leave their homes. Only because of their origins.

"That's why I hate reading. I _can_ read, you taught me after you found out I was dyslexic—"

"Have dyslexia" Alec breaks in, lowering his hand beneath the sheets to hike Magnus' leg up and wreathe it around his waist for closeness. 

"I'm sorry, Magnus" he whispers, "I'm so so sorry."

Magnus smooths his hand up Alec's clothed chest, propping his chin up on his pectoral muscle. "Why are you sorry?" He asks, kindness so striking in his voice that Alec closes his eyes, teeth gritted. 

"I judged you before I found out. I made fun of you, put you in awkward situations, and—"

"Taught me how to read" Magnus interrupts, cupping Alec's jaw, "I was just as horrible to you, Alexander. I..hurt you. I called you out, I told you you're not worthy of love. I—I.."

"Shhhh" Alec opens his eyes, looking down at his boyfriend with heavy-lidded eyes, "what do I have to say to convince you that I don't care about our past, I don't care–" his jaw desperately tautens as he tries finding the right endearment. He settles for everything. "Honey, look at me" Magnus' eyes are drooping, achingly searching for distraction "look at me, baby." 

A smile breaks across Magnus' face, eyes brightening at the terms of affection. "Baby?"

Alec licks at his lips shyly then gives a tight-lipped and crooked smile, one Magnus has never seen. A smile that makes Magnus' heart thud harder in his chest. "I like dearest" Magnus leans up to tuck his face in Alec's neck, "the first time you called me that, I knew that.. _fuck,_ I knew I'll end up falling for you."

"I knew you'd end up falling in love with me too" Alec chuckles, tilting his head to kiss Magnus' head. Magnus rolls his eyes, nipping playfully at Alec's neck. 

"Did you?" He muffles.

"No" Alec shakes his head, "no, I didn't, I didn't think I'd ever have this."

"Well" Magnus pulls back, "get used to it, because I'm not going anywhere any time soon."

"Good" Alec instantly responds, voice woven with urgent reassurance, "good" he repeats, lower and breathless.

"Goodnight, beautiful" Magnus curls his arm around Alec's waist. 

"Goodnight, dearest" Alec's voice comes, "and..um..are you sure you want to go to the family dinner?"

"I'm certain" Magnus yawns, "shush now, don't worry."

"Magnus" Alec says again. Magnus is tempted to just kiss him and tell him everything will be ok, but doesn't when he hears Alec's next words. "You're beautiful. Inside and out. And you're so so smart. Don't ever doubt your intellectuality, or your talent, or your beauty."

Magnus smiles, bunching Alec's shirt in his hand. "Goodnight."

** ______________ **

Alec stares at his phone anxiously, thumb hovering over the call symbol. 

Magnus' cooking in the kitchen. The sound of his humming mixed with the clanging of the cookware eases Alec's nerves, domestic and so so comforting. 

"You're awfully quiet today, darling, is there anything wrong?" Magnus calls out from the kitchen. Alec looks up from his phone. 

"Can I ask you for a favour, dearest?"

Magnus dries his hands and slinks to the kitchen door, where he leans against its jamb, head leaning against it as he crosses his arms. "Always."

Alec smiles to himself, then looks up at his boyfriend, not caring to hide the open weakness evident in his eyes and his fear-taut jaw. Magnus keeps a smile on his face, hoping it will keep Alec's worries at bay.

"I know my— _Maryse_ has wronged you in the past, and I don't want you feeling uncomfortable or put to shame by calling her, but I don't think I can.." He heeds Magnus' expression soften, forehead smoothed and smile comprehending. It allays Alec's qualms.

"You're bound to talk to her, Alexander" Magnus states, "you won't be hiding behind me during the dinner. You're a little taller, quite a giveaway if you ask me" he jokes lightheartedly, but there was some honesty in his words. Alec laughs.

"I'd call her. In fact, if you want me to call her, I'll do it right now" Magnus stands straight, arms swinging to his sides, "but maybe if you take this step, it'll make the actual dinner less apprehensive, hm?"

Alec wants to object. But he can't. Because Magnus is right. So he gives a nod and quickly presses the call button, as if the speed of his movement will get the phone call over with faster. 

Magnus wants to stay and listen to Alec, but decides that giving him the space he needs would be better, so he turns around and goes back to cooking.

Maryse picks up after some nervous fidgeting, bringing the phone to her ear. She clears her throat. "Hello?"

"Good evening" Alec says in response, voice stern and strict, the way it always is when he's speaking to her. "Is the Christmas dinner invitation still standing?"

"Yes" Maryse immediately confirms, then licks her lips, "of course."

Alec shuts his eyes, toes curling nervously. "For my boyfriend as well?" His question is barely audible, but Maryse catches it, hanging onto every word.

"Yes" she nods, "for your..frien– boyfriend as well."

Alec feels a little smug that he forced her to assert Magnus' relation to him. "Good" he utters, "when is it?"

"Tomorrow night" she can't say anything about Alec's lack of knowledge of Christian holidays, as she and her husband were the reason he's so terrified of religion in general.

"We'll be there" Alec rushes to say, then hangs up and lets out a breath, resting his head back as he throws his phone wherever.

He joins Magnus in the kitchen a few moments later, bobbing his head lightly to the music radiating off the speaker. "Do you need help, dearest?" He asks, already washing the vegetables that were set on the worktop.

Magnus smiles. "You're already helping yourself to the kitchen work" he says casually, "how'd it go?"

"Fine" Alec tersely answers, "it's tomorrow."

Magnus stops stirring the sauce in the pan for a second and turns to look at his boyfriend. Alec tries avoiding his gaze by turning his back to him and pulling out the chopping board to cut the vegetables up. 

"Are you nervous?" Magnus lowers the oven setting and makes his way towards Alec. Alec's hands were trembling, battling to chop the carrots equally. Magnus places his hand over Alec's. "You'll hurt yourself" he exudes, then pulls Alec away from his task, takes his other hand and smirks. "Do you remember," he begins, placing Alec's hands on his waist, "when we danced as Amara and Vincent?"

Alec curls his fingers lightly and rests his forehead against Magnus'. "How could I ever forget?" He whispers, "I wasn't dancing with you as Vincent."

Magnus' hands drift up Alec's chest and interlace at his nape. "After you left, I searched for my copy of your book, and that's when I figured you weren't dancing with me as Vincent."

Arms encircling Magnus' waist, Alec presses the older man closer to him, swaying lightly. 

"Are you nervous?" Magnus repeats, voice a ghost of a whisper. Alec shakes his head this time.

"Not anymore."

** ______________ **

"You look so handsome" Alec straightens out Magnus' tie, eyes not leaving his. He watches Magnus' cheeks flush lightly. "What's the term you use so much? Ah yes.." Alec steps closer and cups Magnus' face in his hands, "you look positively sinful."

Magnus rolls his eyes, but leans up to press a fleet kiss to Alec's mouth. "Ready?"

"Ready."

The entire ride to Alec's childhood house was beyond fraught. Alec's fingers are intertwined with Magnus', squeezing enough for his knuckles to go white. He's nervous for more than one reason.

Magnus, despite the pain in his bones caused by Alec's crushing grasp, lets his thumb stroke along Alec's. "You'll be okay, darling."

"Promise?" Alec instantly exhales, turning to look at Magnus hopefully. 

"I promise."

** ♡♡♡ **

"My, my," Magnus tilts his head to the side, "you've grown so much since I last saw you, Max."

Max pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, tousling the front of his dark hair. "Yeah uh, hey" he says, a little shy. "It's been a long time, Mr. Bane."

"Oh please, skip the formalities, it's Magnus" Magnus waves him off dismissively, "how's the Marvel obsession?"

"At its finest" a voice calls out from the kitchen, "we went to a con a few weeks ago!" 

Magnus stills, then a smile tugs at his lips and he looks in the direction of the kitchen. "Simon?" He asks, "I see your charm didn't wear off, hm?"

Simon appears at the door seconds later, lifting his hand to show off his ring.

Magnus gapes, brows lifting in surprise. "Congratulations, my dear."

Alec sidles up to Magnus and wraps an arm around his waist protectively. "They got married four years ago" he says, "Izzy insisted he proposes" laughing lightly, his eyes settle on Izzy, who scoffs and storms off. 

"I didn't insist!" She complains, "I just..encouraged."

Simon grins ear to ear, looking after her till she was out of sight. It was beautiful. Their relationship seems so harmonious and so so laden with love and respect. 

Magnus finds himself smiling, then he looks towards a woman sitting in the far corner. Her hair was a dark maroonish brown, long, her green eyes shining as she talks with a man sitting opposite of her.

"Who's that?" Magnus asks, looking up at his boyfriend.

"I'm not..I don't know. Max, who's that?" Alec arches a brow, and Max follows his gaze before looking back at Alec.

"A family friend" he says, "Jocelyn Fairch—"

" _No_ " Alec cuts in, groaning. "She's a relative of Clary's?"

Max's on the verge of replying when heels sounded from across the hallway. Alec tenses beside Magnus, breath glitching as he buries his fingertips into Magnus' waist. "Shit" he curses under his breath.

Maryse Lightwood.

She goes straight for Jocelyn, greets her, then greets the man she's talking to. Luke Garroway. Next, she says hi to Clary, formally gushing about how much she's changed. Alec feels his heart gallop in his chest the closer she got to them, and once she stands in front of her eldest son, her jaw sets and she looks up, a brow arched as if that would make her taller than him and make him inferior to her.

"Alec" she says. 

Unlike the hugs she shared with Izzy, Clary, Jocelyn and a few other family friends, she only looks at Alec, awaiting his response.

Magnus' hand rests on Alec's, that was clutching tightly at his waist enough to nearly hurt, and Alec's hand loosens. "Maryse" he breathes. 

Maryse then turns her gaze on Magnus. "Mr. Bane."

"Mrs. Lightwood" Magnus smiles, "thank you for having me."

She nods stiffly, then looks back at her son. "The rest of the guests will be here shortly" she informs, as if Alec cares.

Alec nods once, and she walks away. "I can't do this" Alec whispers, "Magnus I can't—"

"You can" Magnus cuts in, turning in Alec's arm to stand in front of him. "You can and you will, alright?"

With a reluctant nod, Alec looks away. "I don't know what I'd do without you, dearest" he murmurs under his breath, barely in Magnus' range of hearing. He's fidgeting, anxious, his breathing starting to build up and his pupils dilating as he stares around.

"Alec, look at me" Magnus frames his face and coaxing him into eye contact. Then he kisses him.

It's gentle, comforting, lips against smile and eyes closed. "You'll be okay" Magnus whispers once he pulls back, "we'll be okay."

Alec believes him.

And Magnus' right. Half an hour into the evening, Alec has his arm extended over the back of the couch, Magnus nestled against him as they watched everyone talk and laugh. 

"I want to go home" Magnus mutters, and Alec laughs, nodding. 

"Me too" he says, "but I also want to flaunt our relationship."

Magnus laughs along, leaning up to kiss Alec's cheek. "You naughty boy" he whispers. Alec smirks cheekily, looking between Magnus' eyes and lips.

"Punish me."

Magnus snorts, shaking his head fondly and resting his head back against Alec. "I'm hungry, when do we eat?"

"Stop complaining, dearest" Alec orders.

** ♡♡♡ **

Magnus' stomach makes a rumble as he plops down in his seat. "Finally" he mumbles, "Alexander, darling" he pats the seat next to him, "I saved you a seat."

Alec dries his hands on his pants and sits down next to Magnus, as far away as possible from his mother and father. "Thank you for choosing this place" he leans into Magnus' ear to say, "that way Maryse and Robert won't murder me by the end of this night."

"Why would they—" Magnus turns to look at Alec, "do you have a trick up your sleeve, Alexander?" He asks, making a small, devilish simper upturn the younger man's lips.

Magnus chuckles. "Of course you do."

"Shall we bless the food?"

Alec makes a face, but reaches for Magnus' hand, then for Izzy's. Everyone bows his head and Robert's the one to speak up. "We thank You Lord, for all you give;" 

Alec looks at Magnus, who's biting the insides of his cheeks to stifle his laugh. 

"The food we eat, the lives we live;" 

Alec leans into Magnus' ear. "I just want to skip to the eating part" he whispers, and Magnus squeezes his hand threateningly, cracking a smile.

"And to our loved ones far away, please send your blessings, "

Alec rolls his eyes. Magnus turns to glare at him, only to get a pout in return.

"Lord we pray. And help us all to live our days with thankful hearts and loving ways. Amen."

Alec and Magnus instantly bow their heads and raise them, murmuring out an "amen."

Everyone starts eating, talking with each other and laughing. Simon leaning into Izzy's ear and whispering things that make her smile and look down. Jace, who arrived a little after Magnus and Alec did, cracks jokes, making everyone laugh cumulatively. Maryse and Robert talks to Jocelyn and Luke, sharing small talks and laughing occasionally. Others who Alec doesn't even know compliment his work, tell him and Magnus how handsome they are, talk to Magnus about his films. Alec and Magnus both feel at ease, hands interlaced beneath the table as Magnus attempts to eat with his left hand to avoid letting go of Alec's. 

Alec eventually laughs and slices a piece of his cake, bringing it to Magnus' lips. Magnus opens up and takes it in, smiling around the fork before lifting their hands to kiss the back of Alec's.

No one cares. Everyone is so enthralled in their own business that they missed out on the way Magnus and Alec are looking at each other, frozen in time, plates half full. 

Alec bites his lip, breaking eye contact and looking away with flushed cheeks, and with as much courage as he can muster, he slides his spoon off the table until it falls to the floor with a small clank that was drowned by the sound of Christmassy laughter. 

He moves to lift it up. "I'll get it, darling" Magnus lets go of Alec's hand and bends to the side to grab the spoon.

When he reemerges, his hand goes limp and the spoon falls back to the floor as he stares at the box settled in front of him. Open. A shining diamond ring inside.

His eyes go straight to Alec, who looks much more nervous than he ever has before. "Alexander, what—"

"Marry me" Alec interposes, "please" he adds, a little out of breath.

Magnus stares at him, eyes gleaming with unreleased tears. He reaches up, placing his hand on Alec's cheek, and Alec immediately tilts his head to kiss his palm. 

"Yes" Magnus whispers, giving his tears their freedom as he nods rapidly, "yes, I'll marry you."

That seems to have grabbed Izzy's attention, who instantly snaps her head in their direction and catches sight of their heartfelt moment, then the open box placed on the table in front of Magnus. She lets out an inhuman noise, drawing everyone's attention to the couple. Maryse blinks, pushing away her aversion and letting herself be happy for her son. _For once._

Magnus' in Alec's arms, half standing with his face buried in his neck. "I love you" he whispers, "I love you, I love you, I love you."

Alec laughs through tears, holding Magnus tighter to him as he closes his eyes. "I love you too, dearest, so much."


End file.
